Traitors and Teachers
by Centeris2
Summary: Slade offers Raven an apprenticeship, Raven loses control of her powers, a mysterious girl called The Shepardess comes to town, and something, or someone, is uniting the Teen Titan's enemies into a dangerous force. (Implied Slade/Raven, warning inside)
1. Chapter 1

WARNING: I began this story for a friend when Teen Titans was still on air, and after many threats and rewritings I am finishing this so I can be done with it.

I'm including this warning because a lot of this is from years ago, and although I have touched it up I left the story as close to the original as I could, which means things will sound like things written by an angsty young teenager (because it was). Given how long the story is, you will probably notice a distinct difference as the chapters go on, as there are literally years between when I wrote the chapters. I'm hoping there is a noticeable improvement between chapter 1 (rewritten two or three times, the last time when I was about 17~18) and chapter 20 (written at the age of 22). While I could restart the entire thing, I really don't want to rewrite the first 100 pages. Again. And so, I apologize for the quality of the writing and the story, and I hope you will forgive me and enjoy the story regardless!

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"I have him," Raven said, one energy empowered hand extended towards her towering, but still, foe.

"Good work Raven, we'll be right over," Robin said, running toward her location and relaying the coordinates to the rest.

"You shouldn't have done that, Raven," this came from the now bored appearing man while he studied his wrist guards for scratches.

"And why not, Slade?" she said, glowing eyes narrowing as her obvious distaste grew to just biting back her onslaught.

"It limits the time we have to talk," with this, Slade relaxed against one of the bar railings on the scaffold.

"Why would I want to talk with you?" Raven might as well have grown a forked tongue her voice was so venomous.

"I have a proposition for you my dear," his response was unchanged, lazily relaxed.

She raised an eyebrow in response.

"I am thinking of acquiring a new apprentice. The last few have been rather disappointing as you might have noticed," he continued after a pause, straightening up a bit as if he was suddenly becoming more professional and business like.

"There is no way I'm going to be employed as your newest puppet," there was a moment of shock before Raven was able to scoff her retort.

"You would come on your own free will," he offered her, as if she was already showing interest.

"With only a side dish of black mail I'm sure," by now Raven was being sarcastic, trying to buy the rest of them time to get there.

He chuckled, "without the side dish, of course."

"No," it was simple but firm.

"You are special, Raven, you deserve to have the teaching you need," he took a step forward, hand beginning to be outstretched to her.

"I can train without you," she stepped back, her guard nearly down. Her purple eyes were now visible, but her hands still glowed.

"But you will only benefit your powers, you must expand your physical strength in order to truly extend you mental powers," Slade took back his hand realizing she would not take it now.

"As stated, I can train without you," Raven's eyes glowed once more as she brought her guard back up.

"You're different from the rest of them, do you honestly think that if Starfire was Trigon's daughter she would have been able to stop him?" Slade was still off guard, showing no interest in fighting anymore.

"Not really," she confided. Starfire was strong, but emotionally handling it might have been difficult. Raven had surprised herself in that battle, she didn't know if anyone else could have managed the same.

"You truly could be the leader, but Robin is still in control, and he is not doing the greatest job either," he began to examine her teammates out loud, almost musing each candidate over in his mind and letting her hear his thoughts.

"That is only your point of view," the empath defended, but was curious about what he was doing this for, his actions always had a purpose. What the point behind this?

"Beast Boy is irresponsible, and still cares about Terra," Raven's curiosity continued to be piqued by his words, how Slade knew the truth, why he was saying it out loud to her.

"That's true," Beast Boy hid it well, but when he was alone he thought of her. Raven had picked up strong emotions from him when his mind wandered and she was close.

"And Cyborg can be turned off like a loud, annoying TV."

"Not quite," Slade's generalization of Cyborg bothered Raven, she did not like when people viewed him as a computer with an expressive face and not as a human.

"First, I thought I would go with the leader of the group," he continued with his analysis and explanation of past apprentices.

"That failed miserably," Raven kept him going, wondering where he was going with this and when the other Titans would arrive to help her capture Slade.

"Yes, then I went with who I thought had the most power," he emphasized the word 'thought,' possibly the closest she had ever heard him admit he was wrong about something.

"Also failing horridly," though not at first, Terra had been effective until she realized and regretted what she had done and turned on Slade.

"But Terra's apprenticeship did prove useful," well, it was nice Slade was able to see the bright side in every situation.

"It led you to me?" she played along as well as tried to satisfy her own curiosity by indulging him and guessing what he was leading up to.

"Yes. You have the power, the mental ability, inner strength..." his flattery had no good effect on her, instead causing her to scowl and say in an imitating voice:

" 'It's always the quiet one, isn't it?' "

"You took the words right out of my mouth," it sounded like he was smirking, and she was sure under the mask he was grinning at her.

Raven glared at him suspiciously.

"And now I make my leave, I'll call you," he jumped up onto a platform that hadn't been there a moment ago.

"Hey!" she jumped up after him, right into a trap. A few well-placed bombs threw her to the opposite wall, as Robin came rushing in, his Hate-Slade-Rush driving him to where Slade had disappeared.

"You let him get away!" Robin shouted at Raven.

Raven wiped the blood from her nose as she stood up and dusted herself off. An enraged Robin was approaching Raven when she swept Robin to the side with her body and magic. Robin looked shocked at the platform; a lone Slade Bot was there, aiming at Robin. Robin was about to attack when several more Slade Bots attacked the shooting one, dragging it through a hidden entrance. Robin turned his attention back on Raven. She was standing, holding her arm as blood seeped through her fingers. She closed her eyes letting her energy close the clean cut. A moment later, she removed her hand and inspected the smooth skin where the bullet had grazed her. She flicked the blood from her hand as the rest of the Titans ran into the room.

"Slade got away from me," Raven simply stated before walking from the room. Robin sighed before following, the rest falling behind.

As soon as the Teens got back to the Tower Raven went to the roof to catch the last of the sun while meditating. They could tell she wanted to be alone for a while so they let her be, but they hoped she and Robin wouldn't drag whatever it was on. Raven began her normal chant, letting the last of the sun's rays warm her. She let her body rebuild its energy, slowly floating up and down. Her brow creased as a strange feeling crept over her, starting deep inside and creeping through her, not so much expanding as winding its way to the surface. Trying to identify it her mind touched it, trying to examine it and slow its progress through the levels of her psyche. It evaded her and there was a harsh crackle. Her eyes opened when the black energy sparked around her, flaring and disappearing as the feeling snaked away.

Raven was distinctly aware that she was shaking, looking down at her hands she saw them trembling before she forced them to be still. Boots touched the floor and she walked over to the edge of the rooftop and looked at the horizon. The sun had nearly set, painting the sky in a rainbow of colors as twilight fell around her. She cleared her mind, banishing all thoughts before she tried to figure out what just happened.

A presence entered her mind, not deep down like the previous feeling, and definitely not one of Raven's inner entities. Feeling the presence, curious what it was and how it had entered, Raven allowed it to stay without attacking it yet. The presence was calm and peaceful, soothing Raven but not making coherent words, instead using feelings to convey a message of nonaggression. Raven reached out mentally, trying to feel out the presence and find its source, but it shrunk away from her mind. When she focused to follow it energy crackled again without control and she ceased immediately.

The feeling was gone. The presence was gone. And for some reason Raven felt utterly and totally alone. Intense despair flooded her before she could stop it, and she retreated to her room to try to gain control of her emotions. They swung wildly, and she covered her mouth to mute the laughter that was followed by screams of terror. She clenched her eyes shut, reigning in her overactive emotions, and after a few minutes was successful. Breathing heavily she fell onto her bed, wiping the tears and beads of sweat from her brow. Calm once more, she was more perplexed than ever.

Four tentative knocks sounded from her door. After a moment Raven got up and answered it, opening the door enough to show half her face and seeing Robin there. He looked ashamed.

"Raven, I know I was a little harsh on you earlier, and, I'm sorry," Robin began.

"You don't have to apologize," she began, stopping, hoping he didn't notice her voice change.

"Are you crying?" Robin asked quickly.

"I'll be fine, I just, need to meditate," she assured him.

"Oh-okay," he replied, sounding guilty.

Raven shut the door, hand resting on the smooth surface as she thought. What had caused her to lose control of her powers? Even a small loss of control could prove fatal, and what of the strange being in her mind? What was its origin and what did it want? Was it connected to her lack of control? Did it have something to do with Slade? This had happened right after he had spoken to her, perhaps he was the cause somehow. If that was the case, Raven knew she needed to seal off her mind and regain control as quickly as possible to ward against possible attack. She couldn't lose control of her powers; the consequences could be deadly.

The next day was slow, there was no trouble in the city and the Titans remained at their home for a day of relaxation. Raven entered the main room, the first time she had come out since the previous night, and the others silently noticed her presence but did not approach. They were not sure if she wanted company or if she would wish to be alone longer. They knew if she stayed in the room after making tea it was safe to talk to her, if she departed once she got what she had come for they would leave her be.

The telepath did indeed make tea, as well as make a light meal while the kettle heated to a boil. She watched the others in the room, Beast Boy and Cyborg playing a game, Starfire looked like she was trying to knit something, Robin was no where to be seen. When the tea was ready she sat down to think as she ate her food, mulling over the past day.

As far as she could tell, her powers were once more under control as well as her emotions, but she was worried, the loss yesterday had caught her completely off guard, she had not felt herself losing control until she did. She was accustomed to feeling it slip away, she was normally aware when she was getting close to losing control. But last night it had just… happened. And there was the matter of the alien presence she had felt; despite her efforts to find it and reconnect to learn about it she was unable to sense it any longer.

Raven was interested to know who had reached out to her mind, and why. It had not been a hostile touch, but it had retreated when she had tried to find the source, so it did not want to be known. Raven did not encounter other telepaths often, especially empathic ones. While telepathy tended to be more difficult it was more common, ironically. But communicating strictly through emotions was difficult, especially over distance. Telepathy was much easier to perform over long distances, only a very powerful empath would be able to communicate over such a long distance with a mind it had never encountered before. Raven considered another possibility, perhaps the mysterious empath was close. Very close. Or a transmitter, amplifier, of some sort. She would have to look into that in order to find out who, or what, the strange presence was.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun rose, Raven watched, eyes staring blankly at the golden rays. She hadn't gotten much sleep, not that it mattered much to her. She felt Robin's approach, and had a major sense of déjà vu. He placed a hand on her shoulder. She closed her eyes, bracing herself for whatever came next.

"We were going to hit the pizza place, want to come?"

"I'll stay home today, not feeling well."

"Just call if you change your mind," he descended the stairs leaving her alone once more. She hung her head and sighed. It had been several days without incident, but Raven still worried about the loss of control in her powers. If it could happen so suddenly, what would prevent it from happening again? She would have to train harder to strengthen her control even more over her emotions. Perhaps she would even have to limit the weak emotions she let through, the few moments where she allowed herself to smile or feel even the slightest bit angry or sad. Would she be forced to completely shut down her emotions? Without even those brief moments of happiness, what was the point of protecting life?

Raven turned, looking where the Boy Wonder had disappeared before she too walked down the stairs and proceeded to her room, the idea running through her mind to check her books before meditating. Maybe she would get lucky and find something in her library that could provide a clue to what had happened and what had been in her mind. It was at least worth a shot.

Two hours later and she was sure this shot was a miss. While there were of course records of empaths and outbursts of intense emotion, nothing seemed to fit her case. The only thing that could be remotely related had to do with dragon lore, a dragon's natural mental abilities being focused and amplified through another being already mentally empowered. But the last dragon recorded wasn't on Earth, it was in Azarath, and that was hundreds of years ago. The exception being Malchior, but he was once more trapped in the book. She had even double checked on the book, she could hear his growling before she picked it up, and the most damage he could do was paper cuts. Which leads to Raven sitting in the main room, holding tea with the news on in the background as she mulled over her thoughts.

"-was reported missing last week. About five foot four, long blonde hair and blue eyes, her picture has been posted on our website. If you have any information on her whereabouts please contact the police. Up next is coverage of a string of robberies by the notorious criminal Slade, after this break."

Raven looked up, seeing the missing woman's picture flash before cutting to a reporter's picture of Slade, walking while the building around him burned. Whoever that reporter was, he was insane for getting that picture, knowing how deadly Slade could be. She glanced down at her tea, noting the paper cuts on her hands looked better, and watched the liquid swirl under the curling steam.

"Breaking news! Adonis has been spotted attacking people near a private research facility in the city, which we believe to be his target. We bring you there live-" mulling over tea would have to wait, Raven was nearly out the door before she remembered to turn off the television and fly to the crime scene. Robin would be calling her within a few minutes to get her help, might as well meet the Titans there.

Adonis had entered the building by the time Raven got there, and she entered without second thought to find him. For a research facility, it looked filthy. The half-demon stood for a moment, assuming this must be the warehouse for the building, but she did not hear Adonis. She could sense him, and she had also noticed the Titans not only where not there, they had also not contacted Raven yet. Surely the others must know this was happening? If it was already on the news with live coverage…

There was heavy breathing, inhaling, and Raven backed into the shadows, quieting her own breathing as she heard Adonis. He was coming closer, and the hair on the back of her neck was beginning to tingle. He was smelling for her, coming closer by the moment. Thinking quickly she phased into the crates behind her, standing inside the empty boxes and waiting, she would not be able to take him if she did not have surprise on her side. Although she realized it would be hard to fight Adonis without the others anyway, she could at least keep him busy, surely the Teen Titans were on their way? The sound of his paws stopped outside the crate, she could hear him sniffing for her on the box, pressing his nose against the rough wood before he stopped and stepped away, apparently moving on in his search. Raven sighed softly in relief, when her communicator beeped.

The crate wall was slashed open, Adonis on Raven before she could mutter a spell. The next thing she knew she was slammed into a lifting fork through the crates she had been hiding in. Raven struggled up, looking up at the approaching Adonis, but he was not rushing at her… instead he was coming toward her slowly on all fours, focused completely on her. He was still threatening, hackles raised and teeth bared, but his mouth was pulled back in a smile. He wanted to hurt her, and that caused Raven's stomach to clench. Desperately she threw crates at him, diverting his attention as she flew away, answering her beeping communicator while she was safely in the air out of Adonis' reach.

"Raven finally! Adonis has broken in-" by the looks of it Robin was in the T-car with the others, Cyborg driving of course.

"Robin I'm already there, I'm keeping him busy until you guys show up. Raven out," Raven said, watching Adonis cautiously as she closed her communicator. He was watching her from down there, not moving. It was creepy. He took off into the main building, Raven following him and trying to slow him down. One of these attempts to slow him down included throwing heavy steel beams at him, but Adonis managed to dodge, grab one, and chuck it back at her. Raven managed to not get hit in the stomach, but it did hit her leg, and in the few moments she needed to regain her balance, he had disappeared into the lower levels through an open elevator shaft. The purple haired girl didn't know what he was after, so she did what she could by following him down. The level he wanted to reach was a long room, white and tiled from floor to ceiling with the same identical one inch squares. Every ten or twenty yards there was a square pillar, perhaps a square foot, the center of each column clear with small things inside. Some had computer chips, others vials, and some Raven didn't know, random boxes or spheres. But as Raven watched Adonis she saw another notorious villain: Slade. He didn't seem to notice her, instead focusing on Adonis, sizing him up even. What were they after?

"Sorry dog, finders keepers," Slade said, his hand around a black orb with one white light coming from the top. Adonis growled, ears going back and fur rising. He didn't take kindly to being called a dog. He launched himself at Slade, who was holding a bo staff with one hand while keeping a tight grip on the ball other. But Raven saw her chance, whatever was in that ball couldn't be good if both Slade and Adonis wanted it, and with three quick words and a hand flick it was in her hand. Slade didn't seem to mind, gladly using his now free hand to battle Adonis. Raven was planning on flying away once she got the orb, but instead she found herself standing there, watching, and tingling. The white light had turned blue, and as Raven looked at it she could feel everything in the room with her mind, she was even able to touch Adonis and Slade's minds without trying, she was brushing against them without meaning too.

What was this?

"Raven!" the tingling stopped, the ball falling from her hands as she slammed into the floor. Her purple eyes shot open, seeing Adonis with a claw raised ready to rip her head right off.

Raven gulped.

And a bo staff slammed into Adonis, knocking him off Raven and into the elevator shaft. She could hear him howl in rage and the screech of his claws against the sides of the vacant shaft, stopping his descent. But her attention jumped to Slade, standing over her. She had thought it was Robin with his bo staff, but Slade…? Raven snapped out of it and jumped up, ready to fight, but Slade watched her, clicked the bo staff shut, and picked up the ball. She knew full well if he had wanted to hurt her he could have done it in her moment of shock, or let Adonis do it. So what was he after?

"I won't let you leave with that," Raven said, blocking the exit. She could almost hear Slade smirk.

"You don't even know what it is for, you don't know how to use it yet," her eyes narrowed. 'Yet'?

"I don't need to know what it does, if you want it it can't be anything good," why wasn't he attacking? Shouldn't he say something smart and try to get around her? What was he playing at? And where were the rest of the Teen Titans?

"Actually it is for you, you felt what it can do when you touched it," Raven went slack. For her?

"Is this you wanting me to be your apprentice?" she demanded, eyes glowing in sudden anger, fists clenching. All he did was nod once. This angered her more. "You are completely unbelievable! I thought you might wise up after you made that deal with my father, clearly you are beyond help!" she realized about halfway through she should not be this angry, and while she tried to get a grasp on her rage her mouth kept going. She even felt herself begin to shake and her nails dig into her palms from her tightly clenched fists. But she stopped shaking when, very calmly, Slade offered her the orb. The only sound for a moment was Adonis clawing his way back up from way down in the shaft. After a couple seconds Raven reached out her hand, palm up, and Slade dropped the ball in her offered hand. She drew her hand in, looking at the sphere and feeling her anger slip away.

"What just happened?" she asked out loud, looking up at Slade in bewilderment. While he said nothing, based on his eye she would guess he was smirking again. He turned and walked away, down the long room, his destination unknown. Her eyes looked at the black orb again, the light once again white, and she heard the Titans descending the shaft, distantly hearing Robin call her name.

Wait. Who had called her name before…?

Her eyes shot back up to Slade and before she realized it she had taken several running steps after him, reaching out to him.

"Slade wait!" he seemed confused, albeit hopeful, probably hoping she would accept the apprenticeship.

"Yes, Raven?" she realized how ridiculous her question might be, and the Teen Titans would be here within minutes, but then again Slade had just handed back what he had stolen only minutes before, it was already a weird day.

"I thought someone called my name, right before Adonis…" damn his mask, she couldn't read him at all! Even his emotions seemed blank. Or could she just no longer sense them?

"What of it?" he asked, voice as blank as he emotions.

"Well, there was only me, Adonis, and you in the room, no one else was around, it wasn't Adonis and I didn't shout my own name…" Raven struggled for a moment, not sure how to put it without blurting out her question. But Slade turned away before she could bring herself to the conclusion that Slade must have called her name. She went quiet as he walked away, stopping at damaged tile in the wall.

"You're a clever girl, Raven, I'm sure you'll figure it out," he opened the hidden entrance and left her, puzzled and alone for a few moments.

"Raven! Where is Adonis?" she heard Robin call as he landed on her level. She didn't turn to look at them, but she could sense Adonis still in the elevator shaft. He probably heard them coming and went quiet so they wouldn't catch him.

"Down the elevator shaft. He fell down the elevator shaft," Starfire and Beast Boy flew down to apprehend the werebeast, and Robin walked over to her.

"Any idea what he was after?" Robin asked her, while Cyborg looked at the various objects in their pillars.

"A lot of stuff here could sell for big bucks on the black market, plus the owners would probably pay a lot to get it back," Cyborg commented, scanning a computer chip and whistling at what his scanners said.

Raven lifted up the sphere, showing it to Robin and Cyborg, "he was after this, whatever it is." She caught herself before mentioning Slade was also after it. It unnerved her that she had stopped herself, but she reasoned Robin would freak out if he knew Slade had been here no less than three minutes ago. Not to mention it would raise questions about how Raven had managed to stop Adonis and Slade from stealing something. Raven might be able to survive one or the other if their focus wasn't on her, but both of them together fighting her for this ball? She would be a stain on the white tiled floor long before the Teen Titans had arrived. Robin took the ball, looking at it as if trying to understand it, not that he could. It was a small, black, metallic ball, perhaps the size of an orange or grapefruit, and the only difference in it was the small light. In order to even guess what it did they would have to take it apart, and its owner would not like that.

Cyborg took the ball himself, scanning it and shrugging after a minute, saying, "No idea what this is, man." At this point Starfire and Beast Boy arrived, without Adonis.

"We have lost Adonis, he disappeared into what appears to be a tunnel off the elevator shaft." Starfire reported, though since it was Adonis they were not too worried about him. While he could do serious damage, he was also one of the easier criminals to capture. Robin nodded and Beast Boy spoke.

"So what was he doing here anyway? And where is the elevator?" Beast Boy was the only one who had not assumed that the building was under renovation or something that would allow the shaft to be vacant. Without the elevator, unless there were hidden stairs it would be difficult to get up and down the building.

"No idea, we don't know what this does," Cyborg showed them the orb, "and according to the owners the elevator was faulty and they will be replacing it soon." Beast Boy accepted it, Cyborg placed the orb back in its secure location, and they all went home. Raven wondered if she was the only one whose mind was buzzing with questions she feared would go unanswered.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Cyborg looked up from his work, seeing Raven standing in the doorway to his car shop. He turned off the radio before he spoke.

"Hey Raven, what are you doing here? Weren't you meditating?" Cyborg had noticed for the past couple weeks she had been meditating as much as possible, yet her grey skin was turning pale and there were dark circles forming under her eyes. She looked worn down, mentally, but she had not explained to any of them what was wrong. And she had no intention of mentioning it, they wouldn't understand her loss of control over her emotions and the related dangers, nor did she trust them enough to mention what had happened between her and Slade, they would most likely tell her to go to Robin, or tell him themself.

"It's not helping," she admitted. Trying to use meditation and rigorous mental training to gain better control, she in fact felt herself lose control bit by bit. Meditation was no longer helping, she was afraid to sleep, and she had resigned herself to never ending research or staring blankly at her wall. Cyborg looked at her for a moment, seeing the physical toll it had on her. He knew something was wrong, Robin and Starfire were also concerned. It wasn't until someone mentioned it to Beast Boy that he noticed.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, guessing she wouldn't tell him what was wrong directly. She stepped into the room and closed the door before she leaned against a workbench. Perhaps the 'talking about it' approach could help, but she couldn't be too detailed without getting into things she didn't want to explain. Or couldn't explain.

"Bad dreams, I keep losing control of my powers when I have bad dreams," she left it unsaid that she had been having bad dreams every night, but she could not even remember the dreams. Upon waking up she would be able to remember fragments, but her first priority was always reigning back in her abilities before they did any damage. By the time she was back in relative control she would have forgotten the dream. The only thing remaining was an acute feeling of dread and illness that could linger for hours. Cyborg nodded once, setting down his tools and setting down two stools. He motioned to one as he sat, and the empath took it.

"Any idea why you are having bad dreams?" she shook her head. She had notions, suspicions, but nothing she could explain to him. Cyborg wouldn't understand the complexities of empaths and telepaths or some other entity in her making her lose control.

"So what did you come down here for?" her eyes closed before opening on Cyborg, looking at him. She wasn't sure, it's not like here she would find the solution to her problems in the engine of the T-car. But she needed something to do.

"I need a distraction. Can I help with anything, Cyborg?" she asked, and after a nod and a couple minutes she was helping Cyborg clean the inner workings of the car. They worked in content silence, only speaking to give directions, but for the most part enjoyed the other's company as they slowly made progress. When Raven and Cyborg each had a good layer of grease and oil on them, perhaps an hour or so later, Raven spoke as she handed him a clean piece of metal.

"Slade wants me to be his apprentice," Cyborg nearly dropped the piece she handed to him, and he couldn't stop his jaw from dropping and a shocked: "What!?"

"A month ago or so, remember when we were in Slade's lair, and I found him but he got away? He told me he was considering getting a new apprentice…" Raven put her hand on her forehead as if she had a head ache just thinking about it. He would realize this conversation was not to leave the room, right? Cyborg wasn't stupid or thick like Beast Boy could be, and Starfire may not be able to keep a secret from Robin. Cyborg had gone silent, shocked, and after numbly attaching the piece in his hand he straightened up to look at her properly.

"Have you told Robin?" Raven shook her head, she was sure Cyborg understood why she hadn't. Robin would go berserk, he had his own personal vendetta against Slade that was never settled.

"Is that why you can't sleep?" Cyborg asked, assuming Slade wanting her as an apprentice would put her under enough stress to wreck her emotions, but Raven was worried about other things more. So she shook her head, although hesitantly as if she wasn't completely sure.

"Are you going to tell Robin?" he asked after a moment of silence. Raven did not answer immediately, but instead closed her eyes and clenched her fists.

"Slade is the least of my problems. Whatever is making me lose control, Slade isn't the cause. Just another nuisance, for now. He hasn't blackmailed me, so I'm not worried about it yet," Raven said, not meaning to slip that bit about losing control, but if Cyborg caught it he didn't say anything. She looked up at her adoptive big brother, so big and strong were this anything else she would have felt comforted that he would protect her. But his concerned look gave little solace, she was on her own for this, this wasn't Trigon where he would come here and they could all fight him together. This was like a sparrow trying to fight pesticides killing its eggs, not only does the sparrow not understand what it is, but it can not see it or guess what is causing it. Cyborg seemed to at least understand her dejected expression, and put a large metal hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, we were able to beat Trigon. Whatever it is, we can do it," he said, comforting, trying to cheer her up. But her little black rain cloud had a response for him.

"This isn't something you guys can help me with," Cyborg grinned at her, and she raised an eyebrow at his smirk.

"To be honest, we only distracted Trigon. You kicked his ass all on your own," for the first time in days Raven realized she had a smile, albeit small. But he had a point, and she put a hand on his as she said, "Thanks, Cyborg." He felt like he had done a good thing by making her smile, it made her look a little less weary and downtrodden. But of course it did not last, because the alarm sounded and the Teen Titans were called into the city to stop the latest crime.

It turned out to be Doctor Light, trying to steal the energy out of solar panels outside the city. He didn't seem to realize the sun was powering them so no matter how much he absorbed he wouldn't be able to get it all. Or perhaps that was part of his plan, he was constantly getting more energy for his weapons, and by the time the Teen Titans showed up, he was energized and ready for a fight. The fight went as it usually did, the team attacking in groups or alone, wearing him down. Raven expected to use her usual trick to get him to surrender, but for the mean time the rest of the Titans fought with him while she provided support. The constant sunlight was definitely working in Doctor Light's favor, however, as he was managing to hold his own far longer and better than normal. Soon it became clear that in order to prevent any serious injuries Raven would have to scare him.

But she was afraid. She could already feel the strain of using her powers, even as she held back to lessen the burden. Mulling over this she caught Cyborg as he was thrown by Doctor Light. Raven couldn't say her concerns out loud for the others to hear, but this was as good a chance as any to get at least get Cyborg's attention. Instead of letting him go as soon as he was on the ground she lightly touched him, looking at him with a worried face. All he could do was touch her hand reassuringly and she flew to Doctor Light, appearing before him. He stared at her in fear as her eyes glowed white and dark energy rippled out from her cloak.

Focus. Keep it under control, just enough to scare him… But something inside of her reveled in his fear, and before she realized it her lips twisted into a sneer, teeth bared as she glared down at him. She wanted to tear him apart bit by bit, feast on his fear and tear into his terror…

"I surrender!" he choked out, backing away in fear of her, seeing her demonic side come out more, seeing the unknown monster inside of her. She was barely able to keep the black energy from snapping all around her. Wrenching her eyes away from him Raven refused to look at the other Titans, eyes trained on the distance but she did not see.

"I'll meet you back at the Tower," she managed to keep her voice controlled, blank, but she could barely control her shaking. Without another word she took off as a raven, not sure where she was going or what she would do when she got there.

'There' happened to be an alley in the city, and 'what' involved trying to breath properly once more. Across from her in the alley a trash can was shredded by black energy as she sat, arms around her knees to stop her shaking. Raven tried to lose herself in the noise of the city, passing crowds and honking cars, the chatter of hundreds of voices speaking at once. She needed to calm down, then she would be fine. She was convinced of this. But a tap on the shoulder distracted her.

Jerking away from the touch Raven looked up in surprise, seeing a girl about her age, fair and blonde. The girl seemed to be inspecting her before she squatted, offering Raven a bottle of water from her bag.

"Here, you look like you need to cool down," confused, Raven accepted the bottle, opening it after a moment before she sniffed it and took a sip. Nothing tasted off about the water, and the girl had a sort of warm and welcoming look, so Raven drank deeper, stopping herself after drinking half.

"Thank you," Raven said, handing back the water bottle. She was still unsettled, but she was better than she had been a minute ago. Now she was looking at the girl before her, curious about her.

"Do you need anything else? Food, cash?" The girl asked, more of offered, and Raven's surprise doubled. But she shook her head, because she didn't need anything and because Raven would feel terrible taking it from this stranger anyway. But with that the girl nodded, smiling softly at Raven as she stood. A warmth washed over Raven, soothing her mind and calming her emotions. For the first time in days the dread and uneasiness was gone. The girl was walking away before Raven could stand.

"Hey wait!" Raven called, walking after her. The girl looked back and waved.

"We will see each other again," she said before stepping into the crowd and disappearing. But the peace in Raven's mind stayed behind, and for that Raven was grateful, and very confused.

"When?" Raven whispered, staring into the crowd where the girl had vanished. She stood like that for a few minutes before she once more turned into a raven and flew home to Titan Tower.

"What is wrong with our friend Raven?" Starfire asked when the Titans returned home without Raven. Beast Boy and Robin shrugged, worried but unable to do much about it without Raven being around. Cyborg however was debating whether or not to mention to them Raven's dreams.

"She has been looking tired lately, but she hasn't told me anything," Robin said, sitting in a chair by the table in the common room. Beast Boy and Cyborg took their places on the couch while Starfire hovered between them.

"And gloomier than usual," Beast Boy added.

"She's been having trouble sleeping the past few nights," Cyborg said after a moment, figuring if it could endanger the rest of the team they should at least be aware of the basic problem. Robin focused on Cyborg.

"I would too with all the creepy stuff in her room," Beast Boy muttered as Robin shot him a glare before he looked at Cyborg, knowing there had to be more. Cyborg met Robin's gaze.

"Why?" Robin asked, not sure what to expect. It was Raven after all, it could be something as complex as being contacted by ghosts from other dimensions to something as simple as a headache.

"She just said she's been having bad dreams and losing control of her powers after. I guess she's afraid to sleep," Cyborg guessed either she was no longer sleeping or was only getting very little due to the nightmares. Regardless, if they were seriously interfering with her powers…

"Dreams? She ran off because she's had a few bad dreams?" Beast Boy asked bewildered. The others thought about it.

"Her powers are directed by her emotions, perhaps if these bad dreams are frightening her they are disrupting her control?" Starfire asked rhetorically, while Robin added onto that.

"Raven was able to make monsters without knowing it when she was scared after we watched that movie. And remember when she got angry at Doctor Light and snapped? Raven could be worried about either of those happening again because of these bad dreams," Robin deduced, but now for the hard part, "How do we help her?"

"They're her dreams, what could we do?" Beast Boy asked, pointing out the obvious problem in trying to help someone with their dreams.

"Perhaps there is meaning behind her dreams. A message she needs to find and solve?" Starfire questioned while looking at Cyborg, he seemed to know the most about Raven's problem at the moment.

"She didn't say what she dreamt. And I doubt she'll tell us," Cyborg said, leaving the Titans unable to help their friend. Except maybe give her sleeping pills so she wouldn't dream. But that wouldn't solve the problem. The discussion died down for a few moments as each considered possible ways to approach Raven about her dreams. Finally it was Robin who spoke up.

"I'll ask her about them, she might tell me, or Cyborg, if we ask," Cyborg nodded in agreement to the plan, and the other two hoped they would be able to help their friend.

The spontaneous meeting broke as they went to their own activities, Cyborg and Beast Boy playing video games, Starfire making food, and Robin walked over to the window and looked outside, thinking. Cyborg was about to beat Beast Boy, Starfire's meal was almost prepared, and Robin was about to head to his room when Raven came back. They all glanced at her when she came into the room, heading to the hall and probably to her room. Robin took the chance and followed her out. Now was as good a time as any.

"Raven, what's going on? You haven't been yourself," he asked, catching up to her. Raven looked at him with a quick glance before looking forward again. It was only a matter of time before the leader started asking, he knew her too well.

"Just trouble meditating. That's all," not a lie, but not the truth either.

"And what about the dreams? You look like you haven't slept properly in weeks," Raven silently cursed Cyborg but understood why he told them. She stopped and looked at Robin longer this time. He was concerned, and the second part was an observation all on his own. She could sense how he worried about her, she knew he had noticed something was wrong days ago when she first started to look off.

"Actually I'm going to sleep right now. I can't explain it, but I feel…" she wasn't sure what the correct word was. Tranquil? Serene? Calm? "… at peace." And she was starting to feel very tired, past the point of exhaustion from the nights of restless sleep. Robin could tell by her expression something was different, she didn't look so drained as she had earlier that day.

"I'll tell the others not to bother you, and Raven?" they had reached her room, and Robin reached out and touched her shoulder, placing his hand there.

"Yes, Robin?"

"You can talk to me. Whatever it is, I'll listen and help," he was sincere, but he didn't know what she was hiding from him. He couldn't solve everyone's problems. But it was the thought that counts.

"Thank you, Robin," Raven said, touching his hand as she looked at him before going into her quarters, not even glancing at the clock or changing clothes before she laid down on the bed, falling asleep within moments of touching the sheets. Her sleep was free of dreams.


	4. Chapter 4

Raven wasn't sure what caused her to wake up. She groggily sat up, looking at her clock, it was a little after four. She guessed she had been asleep for around eleven or twelve hours, she had gone to bed sometime in the afternoon. But she was still tired, and she rubbed her eyes before looking for what had caused her to wake up. Nothing was out of place, and she did not hear anything outside of her room. Outwardly she sensed nothing off, but as she yawned she felt something off within. Looked like her brief inner peace was over.

She walked into the bathroom, splashing water on her face before doing her normal bed time routine of brushing her teeth and changing into her sleeping clothes. Granted it was already four in the morning, but she hoped to get another few hours in regardless. Sitting once more on her bed, this time more comfortable and with the sheets over her legs she felt within herself for the disturbance. It was the same unknown feeling that was the cause of all this. Only this time she was unable to touch and slow it before it tore through her mind.

Grasping her head with a sharp gasp her eyes went black as this time the energy snapped around her, blasting through the air and furniture, tearing apart her sheets and whatever was close to her. Raven rolled into a ball, trying to focus on staying calm as she shakily whispered her mantra. She didn't know what else to do, she had no idea how to stop it.

Gradually the black became less violent, returning to pops and flashes before dying away completely, leaving Raven to stand and look about her ravaged room. Candles and columns were sliced apart, bits of paper from the remains of books fluttered down and rested on the floor, and her bed had gashes in it that looked like she had been attacked. She trembled before her knees gave out, and for several minutes Raven sat on the floor, looking at the ruined room. She no longer wanted to sleep, fearing more nightmares, and she worried about damaging the structure of the building if she lost control again. So she did the only thing she could do and began to clean up the mess. At least no one had heard her…

"Raven?" Of course. It sounded like Robin, and in a moment Raven opened the door and saw him, about to knock on the door.

"Robin it's four in the morning," she said flatly, not wanting him to see the mess her room was. She hoped he would take a hint. He didn't.

"I thought I heard something. Like something breaking," he noticed she kept the door barely open, only showing some of her face. "Everything alright?"

"Yes," no point in worrying him, "go back to bed Robin," she was closing the door when he stuck his hand in, keeping it open.

"Something is wrong, you're shaking. And sweating," damn, sometimes he was too observant for own his business. Raven swallowed before trying to think of what to say, but instead decided to stall for time.

"Not now. I'll tell you later," Robin nodded and let go of her door, allowing her to close it before looking back at the mess of her room. Some of the items damaged would be hard to replace, at least she had read all the books she had at least once already. She sighed, hearing Robin walk away and sensing him disappearing, concern obvious from him to the empath. Picking up a broken glass, she tossed it into the trash and continued to clean. She would not be getting anymore sleep.

Raven was sitting on the roof, a cup of tea in hand as she looked at the city across the water. It was a little before noon, and she was waiting for Robin to approach her and ask what was wrong. She debated leaving, buy herself some time by wandering around the city, but that would only put off the inevitable. For once, she hoped there would be trouble in the city, a reason for them to be busy all day so she wouldn't have to talk to him yet.

The door opened, but it was not Robin, it was Beast Boy. Raven said nothing, didn't turn her head to look at him, and he didn't notice her for a moment before he turned and saw her. He was shocked to see her up on the roof, her feet hanging off the side of the building. Normally she was meditating when she was on the roof.

"Raven? What are you doing up here?" he asked, sitting next to her. She was silent, taking another sip of tea. She didn't look at him, instead her eyes remained fixed ahead but were glazed over as if her attention was else where.

"Thinking. You?" from what she could pick up he had come up to fly and be alone with his thoughts as well. Based on the taint of depression on his emotions he had been thinking about Terra again.

"Same," Beast Boy answered, though he made no move to get up and fly as he had originally intended, instead contenting himself to sit with Raven. He didn't seem to like the silence as well as she did.

"Soooooo whatcha thinking about?" he asked after growing uneasy with the silence. Raven's eyebrows dropped in irritation, throwing him a glare. He was not fazed by her look.

"Nothing I want to talk about."

"Oh com'on Raven! Cy said you were having scary dreams, you can at least try talking about it!" his eyes grew frustrated and somehow puppyish, pleading for details. Her eyes narrowed in response as she faced him to glare at him full on.

"They aren't scary. I think. I don't actually remember them. All I know is I wake up feeling sick and forget the dream within minutes. There is nothing else to talk about," she snapped, not wanting to tell everyone her problems, she didn't like dumping her personal issues on everyone else. Beast Boy pouted, looking straight ahead.

"Did you come up here just to bother me?" Raven demanded. Beast Boy stood up in response.

"Fine. Push away everyone who is trying to help. Don't let your friends in. Be alone," he jumped off the side, morphing into a hawk and taking off. Raven was about to shout at him to shut up when the glass she was holding was destroyed by dark energy. But Beast Boy was off and away and did not see Raven pale and look at her shaking hands. She had lost it again, just the slightest bit and got a lapful of hot tea and glass for it.

"Damn it," was all she muttered, standing and going down into the tower to clean herself up. Raven would have to control her anger better. She had to, her abilities were becoming more dangerous without control.

It was when she was in her room changing that Robin knocked on her door again, wanting to talk. She let him in this time, her room now clean from the early morning destruction, although there were still signs of damage on her bed and furniture.

"Alright, so what happened this morning?" Robin asked, being direct about it. Raven didn't answer immediately, she was unsure how to answer it.

"I just lost control," it was her only explanation, but whether or not it was good enough for Robin was another matter. She could tell before he spoke he wanted to know more, push farther in.

"It's not just that, is it? Why did you lose control? What happened?" Raven sat on the bed, feeling tired once more. Robin sat next to her, waiting for her answer. She glanced up at Robin, purple eyes uncertain about how much she could say.

"You can tell me, Raven."

"I don't know. I woke up and… it just happened. I didn't have a bad dream or anything. I don't know what happened," she leaned back, hands holding her up as she let her head fall back with a sigh. No answers to what happened or how to fix it. Perfect. Raven sensed a new emotion from Robin, and felt his hand on hers. She looked at him.

"That can't just be it. We have a bond, remember? I know something is wrong, but you have to let me in," his words were reminiscent, his expression as serious and pleading as it was before.

"Robin-" the alarms sounded. They both glanced up at the flashing lights, Robin's hand off of hers.

"We'll talk later," he said before they stood and left the room to answer the alarms.


	5. Chapter 5

"She is going to die."

He was dreaming again. How bothersome, meet a random strange girl once and have dreams where she gives cryptic messages for the next month. This time she was sitting on a rock wearing a light blue sun dress, long blonde hair free and flowing in the wind. Her blue eyes sparkled as she smiled, not matching what she had said.

" 'She'? " he asked her, crossing his arms and leaning against a tree. To be fair, he had only had this strange vision dreams a few times from her, and she had not been wrong yet. The girl smiled, nodding. Even if he didn't say he understood, she knew he knew to whom she was referring to.

"And why should I stop 'her' from dying? Whoever she is?" he asked, genuinely worried but not letting her see it. But the girl knew anyway, sensing his emotions.

"Because you need your darling apprentice, she's no use to you dead," she smirked, knowing he would have to respond to that. While the apprentice part was not true, he still hoped it would be soon.

"How do I keep her alive?" he asked, resigned.

"Don't let her fall for starters. Or at least catch her if she does," he was about to ask when and where she would fall, but the girl smiled and snapped her fingers, ending the dream and causing him to jerk up in bed, seeing the clock read about half past four in the morning. Wide awake and unable to sleep with this new knowledge, he sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. He had been planning a heist that day, should he put it off? But he wouldn't see her otherwise, was she going to fall while trying to fight him? How could she fall, she could fly for crying out loud! Although when he and the blonde had first met she had told him something was wrong, she was losing control of her powers and he would have to help her train and grow stronger or else she could end up killing herself.

He ran a hand through his short white hair, though it was not white from age. Across the room a mirror showed a tall man, young and strong in body but his eye much older. A new chance at life with all the experience of the past. But the new body was not completely new, it held old scars, including his right eye. The scars reminded him he could never completely escape the past, his mistakes and regrets. It was only recently he had begun regretting things. It had started just before he had met that girl… what did she call herself again? The Shepardess. Whatever that was suppose to mean. It sounded like she should be taking care of animals or little children, herding things together.

'Well,' he thought, 'might as well start the day.' With that in mind, he stood, dressing and leaving the room to train and get something to eat before prepping for the big crime later that day.

The Teen Titans arrived as expected while Slade was making his way toward his target. He was stealing from a chemical research lab, one of the compounds they had managed to produce was just what he was looking for. Rather than spend months trying to manufacture it himself, might as well steal it. It's not like they were going to use it except to put it on display and say 'Oh aren't we so smart, look what we made! It was really hard and expensive!' So by Slade's logic, he was being practical and not wasting available resources. The lab happened to be located on the edge of the city, and the edge of a cliff, a good fifty-foot drop into the water below. A large open balcony wrapped around each level of the building, whoever designed it enjoyed open space and lots of glass it seemed. Part of the building was over the cliff's edge, but that was not where the fighting took place.

The Teen Titans encountered Sladebots in the open area outside the facility while Slade had already snuck inside and was making his way up to the third floor where the vault containing the chemical was. Slade had already broken the safe open, tucked the chemical neatly away, and walked onto the balcony before he had to turn his attention to the teenagers. Robin, of course, was the one to go after Slade directly, jumping over robots to get to him. Slade had little interest in fighting Robin, he knew he could best the boy any day, but he entertained the Boy Wonder while keeping an eye on the others. Raven was holding back on her powers, not flying as much and being careful with what she did, mostly hanging back and supporting the others. The Sladebots were well programed, picking up that she was weaker today and targeting her so she could not protect the others. A group of them managed to separate her from her team, pushing her back down the open terrace, toward the cliff. Slade began to see the danger of her falling, but pushed back the worry until he saw her falter.

The eight robots were closing in on her, firing their weapons as they marched closer, but she was able to block their fire, maintaining a shield but being forced to step back. She knew she was in trouble, she could feel her shield weakening and she couldn't hold control over anything to hurt them with long enough. But with how quickly the others were cleaning up the Sladebots, she reasoned surely one of them would be able to help her? Or at least notice how far away she had been pushed from the others? Yet her team was focused on what was in front of them, and she was behind. Her worry got the better of her, and with a final shot her shield broke, energy crackling and sending her backwards several yards. Desperately she tried to make another one, but each attempt was weak and broke quickly if it managed to form at all. Which meant she had to run for it.

As if it was a movie he had already seen, Slade knew what was going to happen, and lost all interest in Robin. With two quick hits that Robin had not expected, Slade had bought himself enough time to swing from the balcony railing to the level below. He was glad the architect had made the balcony floors out of clear plastic or glass as he ran the length of the balcony, eye trained on Raven above. In the background he heard Robin shouting something, but it wasn't important anymore.

Raven's mad dash had triggered the robots to chase her and engage in hand to hand combat. The robots caught up and against the eight of them she had no chance. And the quickest way to dispatch of her in their mechanical minds was to throw her over the edge of the balcony. So they did.

While falling Raven wasn't sure whether to scream or try to regain her powers quickly enough to fly. But her dilemma was solved when something wrapped around her.

When the robots threw her Slade broke into a sprint, jumping off the balcony without thinking, catching her mid air and wrapping his arms around her, twisting so he would land underneath her. He whispered something but she didn't catch his words. Before either could fully register what had happened they hit the ground, half of Slade feeling the ground while the other continued to fall down to the water. One hand let go of Raven as he grasped at the side of the cliff, slowing their fall until his hand caught a jut in the rock that stopped them altogether.

For a moment they were silent, Raven latched onto Slade for dear life and Slade holding onto the rock with one hand and the other wrapped around Raven.

"Now would be a good time to fly us out of this, Raven…" Slade muttered, losing his grip on the slick rock. Raven bit her lip, this certainly was a bit embarrassing.

"My powers and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment," she felt him drop a bit, glancing at his hand as it slipped a bit on the rock. Slade chuckled darkly.

"Of course. Then I hope you can swim. Hold on tight and don't let go."

"Wait can't you pull us-!" the rock gave way and once more Slade shielded Raven with his body and arms, holding her head to protect it as they hit the water. At this close proximity Raven felt the jolts of pain when Slade slammed into the rocks beneath the water, the shock of cold making her gasp and thus swallow a mouthful of water. The impact and crashing waves loosened Raven's grip, but Slade pulled her back in, grasping a rock protruding from the water and pulling her to it. Both coughed, though Slade's mask seemed to make it a bit harder for him. But the tide and waves kept them from resting long, and Raven let Slade swim them toward a slight beach at the cliff's bottom away from the factory. Even though Raven let go once they were close and she was able to make the distance, Slade kept a hand on her until they were on shore. The moment he let go Raven distanced herself, standing and looking up the cliff's side to find a way up to get back to the others. But when Slade kept coughing, she could not keep herself from looking at him. He was on his hand and knees, one arm wrapped around his chest, blood dripping from his mask.

"What-?" she asked, rushing back to him and kneeling, unsure whether or not to touch him.

"Just –cough- internal bleeding. Nothing –cough- too serious –cough-" his mask seemed to make it difficult for him to breath, it sounded like it was filling with blood. Slade took his mask in his hand and unclipped it, opening it slightly at the bottom for blood to freely flow out, allowing him to breathe easier.

" 'Just internal bleeding'? How is that not serious?" she demanded, not sure what to feel. Slade was an evil villain who on several occasions had tried to kill them. Slade was the evil monster who had forced Robin into apprenticeship, turned Terra against them, and now wanted her to be his newest apprentice. Slade was the evil bastard who worked for Trigon and made her life a living hell.

Slade just saved her life.

Damn being the good guy, nobility could really be a pain in the neck sometimes.

Which explains why after several moments of debating and trying to reason against it, Raven sighed in defeat and placed her hands on Slade, one hand on his chest, the other his face.

"What are you doing?" he asked through coughs, disappointed he had not been able to get out a clever come back to her rhetorical question.

"Shut up before I change my mind," she said harshly, eyes screwed shut as she tried to focus long enough to heal at least some of the damage. She just had to be calm, and will the energy to go into him and heal him. She felt the energy trickle out of her and his coughing subsided until he was just spitting blood out of his mouth.

"Raven… thank you," her eyes opened in shock, feeling the energy drain from her faster, leaving her in a rush. He straightened and she withdrew her hands. She didn't expect to feel so light headed, so she sat down to hide her dizziness. Slade sat beside her, reattaching his mask properly.

"Why?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

"…is the sky blue?" was how he filled in the blank.

"No. Why did you, you know, save me?" Raven was careful not to make eye contact as she looked to the other side, feeling awkward.

"Well I couldn't very well let you die, now could I?" Slade shrugged, looking away from her as well.

"Don't want to lose a potential apprentice?" she grinned harshly, sarcastically at the remark. Always with the apprentice, it was the only thing he seemed to care about nowadays.

"As you say."

"Alright. How did you save me?" for that was the more interesting question, Raven had assumed correctly why he had saved her, but how he had happened to be in the right place at the right time bewildered her.

"I caught you…" Slade figured he would state the obvious, as he was not sure what she exactly meant.

"No, I mean… how did you know I was going to fall? You were fighting Robin, how did you get there?" Ah. So she realized there was no way he could go from fighting Robin several dozen yards away to catching her within a moment of her descent.

"I saw you losing control," the truth didn't need a web of tedious lies, and was simpler than a lie in this situation.

"But you couldn't have known I was going to fall, so how did you know what to do?" her hands clenched and she resisted the urge to look at him, glare at him until he answered.

"I had a dream."

Raven went quiet. A dream? What the hell was that suppose to mean? He was having weird dreams as well? Although Raven wasn't remembering hers…

"Your turn, why did you heal me?" Slade looked at her now as he spoke.

"I'm one of the good guys. We do stupid things like give our enemies second chances when they'll just use it to stab us in the back later," she scoffed at the question as if it was foolish to ask, her remark was harsh and honest. She fully expected him to take advantage of it later on.

"Come now Raven, if I wanted you dead I would have let you fall. But that's not what I meant. Besides your noble intentions, why did you heal me?" he had a good point, but then again she still had uses to him, he could just kill her later.

"Only if you answer a question," Raven needed to buy time, she didn't know why she would have healed him besides repaying him for saving her life.

"Depends on the question. What is it?" his head tilted slightly in curiosity, wondering what the question could be.

"Did you call my name? Last time? With Adonis?" he was silent, not liking the question despite how simple it was compared to what she could have asked. So he answered much like he had before.

"You already know the answer to that one."

"Alright, then what did you steal just now?" annoyed by his stubbornness she changed her question.

"You only said 'a' question. Just because you didn't like the answer doesn't mean you can ask another question," now she was sure he was being difficult to annoy her. Her face and voice hardened, her eyes glaring straight ahead.

"So you did call my name?"

"You already-" her head snapped toward him, staring him down.

"Did you?" her eyes glared into his, eyebrows furrowed as she demanded an answer. All he could do was meet her gaze for a few moments before he said one word.

"Yes."

"Why?" her furrowed eyebrows now loosened into a more confused look.

"I have a vested interest in you."

Raven was not satisfied with that answer, no matter how valid it was. Well, valid for saving her at any rate, but calling her name? Trying to warn her perhaps? But that was all she was likely to get from him, so her gaze softened and she looked away.

"I answered your question, now you answer mine," Slade said after a moment, reminding her of why she had asked him the question in the first place.

"You saved my life, I healed you to repay the debt. Simple as that, I owe you nothing anymore," she was surprised when he seemed content with that answer, or at least didn't argue with her. Instead Slade too was looking straight ahead, looking over the waves. They sat like that, in a strange quiet, but it was broken when Slade stood and looked up the cliff face.

"If you can control your powers again we should be able to just fly. Or I could try to climb up and carry you," Raven looked at the cliff, the beach kept the water from making it slick, there were many cracks and protrusions that would serve as footholds. And Raven did not feel up to trying to fly again.

"I don't think I can fly yet," she said, standing and facing the wall. Slade looked at her and walked over to cliff face, looking for the best way up. His hand beckoned to her after a few minutes of planning.

"Climb on," he said, bending down so she could wrap her arms around his neck and legs around his stomach. With her riding piggy back he made his way up, focusing on picking good foot holds and not getting trapped. At this point he was tempted to point out that if she was his apprentice she would be able to climb up herself, and that he would be able to help her control her powers. But he refrained, worried she might start choking him at the suggestion. As they neared the top, Raven's communicator beeped. She refrained from answering it until she was safely on the ground again, but first she looked at Slade, who had not taken off the moment she was off his back.

"You should call them, they are probably worried about you," he pointed out, although he didn't move though they would be coming for Raven as soon as she contacted them. She nodded, looking at her communicator but back to Slade.

"Are you going to give it back? What you stole this time?" she almost expected him to hand it back to her and skip off to leave her bewildered once more, but instead she heard him chuckle.

"Not this time. You can try to take it from me, if you wish. Or you could come with me," Raven scowled at the suggestion.

"If you say it's for me again…" She threatened, leaving it open for his imagination.

"No, this is for me, although you factor into it. Come with me and I'll tell you… eventually," her reply was her clicking on the communicator.

"Can I get a ride home or what?" she asked curtly to whoever happened to respond to her call.

"Raven! There you are! We were worried, we'll find you and get you," it was Robin who answered, thankfully he couldn't see Slade. She closed the communicator and looked back at Slade, who to her surprise had turned and was walking away. But this time Raven had nothing left to ask him, even though her head was filled with questions. All she could do was watch as he walked away, almost lazily. Did he expect her to do something? He would be sorely disappointed when she did nothing, letting him walk out of view and waiting for the others to arrive.

The ride home was a quiet one, Raven perplexed and recalling that Robin wanted to talk more. Suddenly she wished she was sitting back on the beach in content silence with Slade, this talk could be very messy.


	6. Chapter 6

She never thanked him. He had thanked her for healing him, but she had not thanked him. She realized how rude that was of her, but she saw no reason to go out and find him to say thanks. Raven had other things to do, like lie on her stomach on her bed and try to move a penny with her thoughts. It wasn't working, she couldn't focus her powers well enough to get the penny to move across the floor. It was frustrating.

So was Slade. And trying to figure out what he said when he grabbed her. And brooding over it all was infuriating her more. Groaning, she picked up the penny and threw it across the room, taking out her anger on the coin. Better the coin than her room again. Knowing Robin would be coming to talk to her any minute now was not helping her mood either.

She flopped onto her bed with a sigh, not sure what to do. The options were either try to meditate or keep brooding, neither appealing to her at the moment. But she went with the former, noticing she was sitting on her bed rather than floating as she normally did when meditating.

Her meditation session was short lived when Robin knocked on the door and she let him enter. He sat next to her on the bed as before, looking at her with concern.

"What happened? One minute you were fighting with the others and the next you were gone," well, Raven wasn't sure whether she wanted to talk more about what happened in the morning or what happened with Slade. Neither seemed like a fun topic. She refrained from making a face however.

"My powers weren't working properly, some of Slade's robots managed to throw me over the side," she expected Robin to be more shocked and surprised, but by his expression he had seen her falling. Which means he was about to mention-

"And Slade caught you." Damn it. Raven nodded, showing her confusion clearly on her face. Robin's expression hardened and he looked away from her.

"Raven, why would Slade catch you?" Oh crap. What was Robin going to assume? The worst? Or the worst? Dare she try to lie to him and say she didn't know why he would save her? Robin would not believe her if she tried to lie outright. Perhaps she could try bending the truth a bit?

"I… think he wants me to join him. He said something about not letting his apprentice get killed," Robin went rigid, enraged, but not with Raven. The intense hate coming off of him was not directed at her. But as Robin absorbed this new information Raven came to her own realization, Slade had never mentioned it. She was the one who brought it up. Sure he mentioned a 'vested interest' in her, but he did not specifically say apprentice as he had done before. Why? Was there more to it than wanting an apprentice?

"We'll protect you Raven. No matter what he threatens you with, he can't hurt you if we face this together. I will protect you," Robin said fervently, looking into her purple eyes with a serious gaze. She nodded, feeling his hand on hers and dropping from his intense stare to look at the penny across the room. She couldn't even control a small coin, how was she supposed to fight this? She couldn't let her friends protect her while she stayed helplessly behind them. Silently she looked back up to Robin again, his gaze had softened back into worry for her.

"I need to meditate," Raven said after a moment of meeting his gaze, and Robin took that as his cue to leave, though he did not get up immediately. For a moment he sat, looking at her as if contemplating something and Raven sensed some small new emotion, the same as before, coming from him. When he did leave the room she wondered what exactly that emotion was. It was familiar, but not one ever directed at her…

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos…" Raven whispered, closing her eyes and crossing her legs, beginning to meditate. She forced herself to clear her mind of all thoughts, she had been fretting over them long enough for one day. The clock ticked away, and Raven did not notice when her legs no longer touched her bed as she once more hovered. She touched the bed once more when her meditation gave way to sleep.

 _Cold metal fingers gripped her, hoisting her up and holding her above the robot before it flung her, sending her through the air. Before she could scream something collided into her, large and warm, black and orange. Strong arms wrapped around her, holding her close, and a familiar deep voice said something, but she could not catch it._

 _Raven slammed into the ground, looking up just in time to see a massive paw raise to strike. Someone screamed her name, but a moment too late as the deadly claws tore her throat open. She tried to scream, growing cold, but all she could do was look to her side, seeing her teammates, her friends, murdered and torn apart. Her efforts to cry out redoubled upon seeing their ravaged remains all around her, but she was cut short by jaws closing around her neck to sever off her head. The same familiar voice as before called out to her._

Her hands went to her throat, breathing ragged as she tried to tell herself it was just a dream. Just a vivid dream. Despite its effect on her she struggled to remember what it was about, but like that it was already gone. Lying back down she looked at the ceiling, which had acquired several new gashes. Looks like she was now losing control in her sleep as well. The clock told her it was a little after midnight, but Raven didn't care. She needed to breath. She needed air. She needed to be outside.

The desire to flee seemed to let her fly again, teleporting in her raven form over the water and into the city streets. From there she walked up and down the blocks, not paying attention to where she was going. Like if she was able to walk fast enough, far enough, she would be able to escape the fear that was eating away at her. It was perhaps an hour or so later that she was broken from her inner war by a begging woman. Raven's purple eyes snapped into the alley, seeing an older woman, perhaps fifty, pleading with several men to leave her alone and let her be on her way. On instinct Raven's hand shot out toward them, but nothing happened.

Raven had never felt so worthless and defenseless as she did in that moment, unable to stop the men from doing as they would with that woman. But without her powers, how could she help? There was more of them, and her hand to hand combat skills were not good enough to take on all of them at once, she was powerless.

"Let her go!" her voice… Raven turned, as did the men, to see a young woman, blue eyes fierce and blond hair flowing. A feeling of security swept over Raven, as if everything would be alright soon enough. The woman being attacked whimpered, and the men began to laugh. The girl was slender and unarmed, she did not appear to be able to do anything, but the way she looked at them, staring them down made their laughter die away. She walked toward them, determined and daring them to touch her. Unsure what to make of her they pulled out their weapons, pointed at her. This merely earned a smirk from her.

"Let her go, she's bad sport, no point in harassing an old woman. Not when there are younger girls to chase," Raven blinked in surprise, amazed at what this girl was doing. Baiting them? Using herself? The man holding the older woman let go in shock, and the woman took her chance and bolted, frantic to escape, leaving her savior to fend for herself. It was then they noticed Raven.

"A Teen Titan!" and with that their guns were aimed at her, but once again the blonde startled them, stepping in the way, her arms spread.

"Don't touch her," the girl said with the same determined voice, and when one of the men lunged at her with a knife she effectively dodged, punching him in the stomach and knocking him to the ground. Her shoe planted itself in his back as she glared back at the others, her grin confident and at the same time insane, inviting them to fight. They took her offer, charging at her with knives and guns. Raven stepped back, watching as this girl managed to evade every attack, her grin growing as she steadily beat down one man at a time. But she did no serious damage to any of them, the fact that they could not touch her or get that look off her face seemed to be enough to slow them down before they stopped, backing away from her. For well over a minute they started at her in silence, and she them, her grin fading into a warm smile. One by one they turned, going in different directions, some of them not even bothering to pick up their weapons as they walked away.

"Are you alright?" the girl asked, turning to Raven. The familiar sensation of warmth grew inside Raven.

"Am I alright? What about you? How did you… what did you- who are you?" Raven stuttered, still unsure how to take what just happened. The girl's smile widened.

"You can call me The Shepardess. I'll see you again, Raven," and with that she turned and began walking down the street. Raven would not lose her this time, and she ran after her before walking alongside 'The Shepardess.'

"How do you know my name?" was the first question Raven thought of.

"You think I wouldn't know the names of the Teen Titans? You should work on your hand to hand combat so you don't freeze like that," the girl's matter of fact statement offended Raven, mostly because Raven knew she should have done something to help instead of stand by and watch it happen.

"What? Who do you think-"

"The girl who prevented a gang rape and murder while a Teen Titan stood by feeling useless. That's who. You shouldn't rely on your powers alone, because of situations such as these," this girl seemed to know more about her than she should have, and it bothered Raven. How did she know? Had she seen Raven try to act and nothing happened? Must have. Only logical explanation. But the girl's voice did not indicate blame, staying factual and honest.

"So what would be your solution? Train myself on hand to hand combat or find someone to train me?" Raven asked a bit sarcastically, although she did sincerely wish to know what this woman thought she should do. The girl shrugged, her smile turning mysterious.

"Something like that. It doesn't help that you are unsure and doubting yourself, not to mention afraid of your own abilities. Now I imagine a bank will be robbed or something and you'll have to go before the other Titans discover you are gone and begin to worry. Farewell Raven, until we meet again!" the girl waved, her walk turning into a skip and sure enough Raven's communicator sounded an alarm that something was happening in the city that required the Teen Titans. Raven looked after her, feeling the sense of contentment fade a bit before she looked at her communicator, seeing that someone was breaking into a jewelry store a few blocks away. But she did not immediately set off for the store, instead thinking about what The Shepardess had said. Doubting and afraid of herself? Now that she thought about it, that was accurate, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now, she had to call Robin and tell him she'll meet them there. She clicked her communicator on as she broke into a run, calling the others.


	7. Chapter 7

Several days had passed and Raven once more had relative control of her powers and the ability to sleep for more than three hours at a time. It was an uneasy peace of mind, she knew it wasn't going to last and she tried her best not to push it, keeping calm and meditating or reading books. It also happened to be light crime wise, nor did any of her teammates approach her about what had happened. She preferred it that way.

Raven was sitting in the common room, sipping tea as she read a book. For once it was somewhat quiet in the lounge room, Cyborg working on his car and Starfire and Beast Boy running the training courses. Robin was the only one in the room with her, pouring over files and papers on the table while he had the news on in the background. She was quiet for him, letting him think out loud every now and again as he tried to figure out the motives in recent attacks. The objects some criminals were targeting where not what they usually went after, and Robin being Robin had to figure it out. Slade had also worked his way onto the table as well, not because of what he stole but because he was stealing things as another broke in. The latest theory was that Slade was in fact engineering the whole thing as a great conspiracy, letting one criminal be the main target while he slipped in the back door and took off with the goods. Raven refrained from mentioning how Slade had specifically said some items were for her or because of her. She imagined it would make things easier on Robin without including that level to the investigation.

When her cup was empty she walked back to her kettle to refill, looking over the paper covered table to see what Robin was studying this time. He was currently going over the various items targeted and either successfully stolen or saved by the Teen Titans, trying to understand their overall purpose and uses. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a familiar face flash across the screen and she looked up to see what the news reporter was saying.

 _"_ _-continues with an ongoing search. Her parents have issued yet another plea for any information concerning their daughter, who has been missing for several weeks now-"_

"Raven what is it?" Robin asked in surprise, looking at Raven. She hadn't even realized the cup had slipped through her fingers and shattered on the floor.

"Robin, I know her. I've seen her!" Raven said in shock, staring at the television and the picture of The Shepardess. Robin looked at her in confusion, glancing between the image on the screen and Raven.

"Then you need to contact to police, tell them what you know, when you last saw her…" he said, not sure what else to say in his bewilderment. Raven nodded, breaking out of her surprise and cleaning up the broken cup and hot tea. The Shepardess was a missing person? Well, no normal girl would be walking around the streets at one in the morning saving people. Sure the Teen Titans did that, but they didn't have parents to give them a curfew… Had she run away? She certainly didn't seem to be kidnapped and held hostage somewhere, what sort of kidnapper sends his victim to go save people at odd hours of the night?

"Raven… have you looked at what has been stolen?" Robin asked her as if putting puzzle pieces together. In response she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Not really, why?" she was not sure where he was going with this, but it put her on edge. Robin was quiet as he picked up a list he had complied of everything stolen and its function.

"Well, Adonis was after some sort of amplifier… the owners only said that it increased natural mental abilities. And Slade stole a chemical that is suppose to increase brain functions while Dr Light was after an energy source that can be used directly with the body and specifically the brain…" ah yes, the failed Doctor Light heist a little under a week ago. He had broken out of jail, but with one glance at Raven he had surrendered again. But Raven saw where he was going with this, or at least she thought she knew where this was going.

"It's all stuff to do with the mind? Trying to create powers? Artificial ones?" Raven said, while it was plausible she thought it was much more focused than that. If Slade was behind all this she suspected it all had to do with her powers. He shouldn't be getting so many costly things before he even had her, unless he had secondary uses for them. Robin nodded slowly, not in an agreeing way but indicating he was considering the possibility before he nodded more seriously.

"If we're right and Slade is trying to grow more powerful and dangerous with mental powers then we have to do whatever we can to stop him!" Robin said, not needing to explain why Slade being able to read their minds or move things with his brain was a bad thing. Who knew what Slade would be capable of, he could make even the most innocent and harmless thing turn dangerous. There was no need to let him add to his arsenal of weapons. As the reached conclusion settled in the alarm sounded, Raven commenting: "Speaking of Adonis…" as she looked at the screen showing where the alarm was coming from.

Within minutes they were all heading toward the warehouse, though this time there didn't seem to be any obvious thing to be stolen. Raven felt Robin's unease and knew she was not the only one who felt something was off, especially in light of their theory. Even if it wasn't Slade the alarm was about, there was strong reasoning behind Slade working with Adonis, Doctor Light, and several other criminals. So being called to an unused and largely abandoned warehouse that had nothing of value by an anonymous tip definitely sounded like 'TRAP!'

But Raven kept those ideas to herself, perhaps this was Adonis being his usual destructive self while not doing Slade's bidding.

And perhaps she'd see a flying pig in the next few minutes.

Walking into the warehouse she was able to sense more than one person, but most of them were unfamiliar to her and ignored under the feeling of apprehension. The five of them stood for a moment, listening and looking for any sign of Adonis but hearing only silence.

"Soooo the bad guy is a no sho- ACK!" Beast Boy frantically morphed into a bird, but Cyborg and Robin weren't so lucky with flying, falling down when the floor dropped.

"ROBIN!" Starfire screamed, but the floor closed once more to her distress. In rage she threw starbolts at the floor, her attention diverted when a snickered was heard. The remaining three stood back to back, ready to fight. Below them Cyborg and Robin had taken the same position as they prepared to fight whatever stayed in the shadows.

The shape of Adonis emerged from the shadows, cocky as ever as he leered at Starfire, Beast Boy, and Raven. But he was not the only thing to emerge from the shadows, opposite the room from him another set of claws clicked on the concrete, revealing a large reptilian werebeast, and from another part of the room and more feline werebeast. Starfire gasped, Beast Boy growled, and Raven grit her teeth while she focused on her powers. This was not good.

Adonis charged, aimed at Beast Boy, the feline werebeast leapt at Starfire and the reptilian went for Raven. Starfire and Raven remembered when they first encountered werebeasts and how difficult it was hurt them, let alone subdue them. Below Robin and Cyborg were in a similar situation. Looks like it was a trap.

Raven was grateful for the use of her powers, although limited from what they were before, as she was able to hold her own much better than the incident with Slade and the night she ran into The Shepardess. She even managed to get a few hits, much to the large reptile's discomfort. But she realized too late what the werebeasts where doing: separating the Titans bit by bit, Starfire and the cat beast had disappeared to the upper ceiling of the warehouse, while Raven had been pushed out of the main storage area and into a hallway. Raven wondered what sort of warehouse this was, to have floors and hallways such as this, this building could not have been just a warehouse. But the disappearance of her foe was a more pressing matter. She did not sense its approach again, instead she felt it leaving, heading back to the main area. But Adonis was heading in her direction. Remembering his strange gaze, his claw ready to kill, Raven subconsciously backed down the hallway before he was even there, and when he appeared she flew away, forcing him to chase her.

She phased through a door to the stairwell, hearing the door splinter below her as she went up several flights of stairs before disappearing through another door and stopping at what she saw. Raven decided this wasn't just a warehouse, it must have been a lab of some sort as well, based on how different this floor was from the ones below. But her thought process had to wait, as she again flew from Adonis and passed through a door to a vacant room, dust covering the instruments and obscuring the clear storage unit of chemicals and equipment.

As Adonis burst through the door he was met with a face full of glass and wood, Raven flinging objects in the room at him to delay him. The werebeast in turn focused on dodging, trying to get to her before the next object knocked him to the side, causing him to leave gashes in the walls, furniture, and floor where his blows were redirected or flat out missed. Part of the damages included pipes that should have been empty from disuse, but instead they began to leak a strong smelling chemical, though it was for the most part colorless save a sort of oily sheen, like the colors on bubbles. This liquid made the floor slick, causing problems for both Raven and Adonis as their movements jerked due to slipping. One such jerk included Raven losing her balance for a moment, but enough for the monster to catch her in the side and send her spinning until she landed on her side, back to him and twisted in her cloak. Buying herself time she flung a storage locker at Adonis over herself, hearing glass break inside. Adonis slashed at it to destroy it, his claws against the metal opening the locker and sending sparks all around him, igniting the liquid spilling over the floor.

Raven heard Adonis's howl of pain a moment before she felt the heat on her, burning through her soaked cloak and shoes. Shouting herself, she wrenched the cloak off as well as her shoes and she flew to the ceiling, looking on in horror for a moment at the raging fire. Adonis had fled the room, she could make out his bloody paw prints going out the door from where his paws had been burned. The fire was spreading, consuming the mess and spreading across the floor and walls, and Raven knew she had to get out and warn the others. She phased through the wall before she sent out the call.

"Everyone get out! There's a fire and I don't know how far or fast it'll spread!" already the flames were escaping the room and spreading across the floor, and she assumed it could travel through whatever pipes had that liquid in it. She was about to make for the stairwell and find the others when sharp teeth dug into her right arm, jerking her back and flinging her down the hall. Looked like Adonis wasn't finished with her yet. Even though he stank of scorched fur and he was burned and bloody, he still advanced on her. She rushed to stand, running before she had completely gotten up, but even with his damaged hands he was still faster, ramming into her and sending her forward several yards to land on her side, feeling the pain from the burns on her back and legs. Adonis grabbed her, throwing her into a wall, not caring about the smoke pouring down the hall as the fire spreading quickly over the floor and to the floors above and below. Black energy pushed Adonis back, sending him into the opposite wall and pinning him there for a moment as Raven held him there, breathing hard. Adonis wanted to fight at a time like this? Fine, Raven would give him a fight. A giant dark raven's claw grasped at Adonis, slamming him into the floor and walls, trying to beat some sense into him so that he would take a hint and surrender so they could get out of the burning building.

His response was to break free the moment she loosened her control, tackling her to the floor before tightly gripping her arms and slamming her into a door and throwing her into another room. He was on her before she could get up from the floor, pinning her to the floor and biting at her shoulder, but Raven sensed there was more than met the eye. If Adonis wanted her dead he would have gone for her throat when he had the chance. His emotions were so strong, this close and in his animal form, animalistic and simple yes, but sadistic and intensely vivid. The heat from the fire, the choking smoke, the pains from the burns and injuries, and most of all Adonis's lewd glare and emotions terrified Raven. There was very little containing her inner monster from destroying everything in sight, but as Adonis slammed down on her arms to make her stop squirming she realized she had little choice if she wanted to get out of this alive. She took a deep breath, albeit one tainted with smoke, and let her defenses drop.

Energy ripped out of her, all of her fears manifesting in the form of devastating power tearing the room apart, throwing Adonis through a wall and into the next room as well as creating deep gashes in the floor and ceiling, breaking through parts of the wall completely. And all Raven could do was shudder as it happened before it died down and left her emotionally drained. If it wasn't for the enclosing fire and the desire to live, Raven might have blacked out on the floor then and there, but she had to move. Adonis had fled in fear, and the blaze had not been intimidated by the show of power, spreading through the different floors and nearly upon Raven once more.

Raven rolled over, trying to use her broken arms as little as possible as she stood carefully, unsteady on her injured legs. But she managed to get out of the room, heading for the second stairwell at the end of the hall closer to her and away from the fire. Behind her she heard the support boards creaking and heard the ceiling give out, a blast of hot air, smoke, and sparks hitting her and encouraging her to move faster. The air was growing heavy with ash and smoke, making it hard to breath as she neared the stairs, the realization dawning on her that she wouldn't be able to make it down the stairs fast enough to escape the fire anyway. That was when she heard the creaking again, this time ahead and beneath her. She squinted, seeing small fire on the floor, nothing compared to the inferno behind her, and noticed holes forming. Raven was just able to jump back when the floor gave way, leaving a gapping hole straight to another inferno in front of her. Behind were the main fire and a collapsed ceiling, before her there was no floor and flames leaping through the hole. Eyes watering from smoke and desperation, her powers and emotions exhausted, she screamed for help, trying to get her arms to work just enough to handle her communicator. She could hear it beeping through the howl of burning fire, but she could not move her broken arms to answer or focus her powers to operate it. She couldn't get her powers to work at all. Raven was trapped.

Thanks to Raven's warning, each Teen Titan was able to escape their fights and get out of the building, though not before the fire spread through the pipes and set fire to most of it. Robin was the last to get out, and as he looked at the three teammates, coughing from the smoke and sweating from the heat. Robin's eyebrows furrowed.

"Where is Raven?" he demanded. He had assumed she would be the first out, or that she would have helped one of the others out. It was her warning that got them out in time, where was she? The others looked at Robin, worry etched into their faces.

"Any second now… she has to come any moment now!" Beast Boy said, though he had been thinking that about all of them since he had gotten out. But she did not show up. The back of Robin's neck prickled, his bond with the empath feeling her panic and helplessness. He shook his head to Beast Boy's hope before he turned, planning on running back and finding her himself. Cyborg grabbed Robin's shoulder to stop him.

"No man! We have no idea where she is, and there are eight levels to that building not including those basements! She'll get out, she always does!" Robin's frustration grew from her feelings, he knew she wasn't going to get out, not without help. He shrugged off Cyborg's hand, picking up his communicator to call hers specifically even though each friend had been sending out general calls as soon as they got away from their werebeast.

"I can't stand by and do nothing! I know she is still in there, I can feel her!" he said angrily, making towards the entrance again.

"Robin, we can all feel her-" Starfire began, stopping him from going any further.

"Starfire, Raven and I share a bond, I can feel her emotions right now, she is feeling desperate and trapped! I have to help her!" Robin stopped his shouting when he saw Starfire's hurt look, but he also knew if they didn't act Raven would die. The fact that she wasn't answering her communicator meant she was in trouble at least, perhaps unconscious from the smoke, or injury. Robin's mind went wild, until Cyborg said:

"She's on the fifth floor from the ground level, by the south staircase. She's not moving much," Robin was about to sprint back into the burning building when a groan throughout the building was followed by it beginning to collapse, starting with the main storage area, the main entrance.

Raven lay on the floor, collapsed from pacing back and forth several feet and her voice exhausted from screaming. Boards from the ceiling fell close to her, the fire enclosing on her, and she could do nothing. She was trying to stay awake in case of the off chance they were able to find her and save her. But one glance around and she knew they wouldn't be able to get to her, not unless they wanted to get seriously injured or killed as well. And Raven didn't want any of them risking their lives or dying for her. If this was how she died, she wanted to go alone and let her friends live on. She could only hope they had gotten out in time, especially with how fast the fire spread. In the distance she thought she heard someone, but she disregarded it as hopeful imagination, they were even calling her name, how nice of them…

Wait. She struggled to lift herself up. She knew that voice… Raven tried to call out, but her throat was so dry she had to swallow before she could manage to make her voice audible at all.

"Here! I'm here!" she said, swallowed again, and said it louder, praying her voice could be heard over the fire. She reached out with her mind, touching the familiar mind and getting his attention, feeling him come closer. In her half delirious state she almost felt relieved when she saw the silhouette come for her, taking shape as he jumped over the fire and reached her. She was too tired to suppress screams when he picked her up, hurting her, well, everything. After her scream he tried to be more delicate with her while still holding her close to protect her. Glancing and weighing his options quickly his decision was paused as her heat damaged hand touched his chest, her eyes barely open yet still thoughtful. Her mind had withdrawn, growing quiet and still, very much wanting safety and rest.

"I got you, Raven," he whispered through the total face mask before he jumped over the hole in the floor, kicked down the door to the stairs and ran to the rooftop. Amidst the smoke billowing out from the building, he saw the building next door, lower and most importantly not on fire. Clutching Raven close, he ran and jumped, looking back as he heard another part of the building collapse, it was only a matter of minutes before the whole thing came down. But his top priority was the now unconscious girl in his arms.

He carefully set her down, taking in her injuries and saw she wasn't breathing. He cursed under his breath, threatening her that if she died on him he would somehow make her pay for it as he started doing compressions. She was so small under his large hands, and he worried he might snap her if he pushed too hard. Not to mention she was a mess, heat blisters forming where he had been able to cover her, burns where she was not covered such as her legs and feet, not to mention the original burns on her legs and back. Her arms were broken and she had claw and bite marks on her shoulder, reminding him of someone with a sadism-masochism fetish, except deadly. After two rounds of compressions he realized it wasn't working, and after a moment's hesitation and glance around, removed his mask. He covered her nose and titled back her head, realizing how much she reeked of smoke before he gave two breaths and returned to another round of compressions and more muttered threats. As he gave another breath he felt her jerk, and pulled away she began coughing violently, but she was breathing again so he quickly reattached his mask. The coughing stopped and her breathing returned to relative normal, albeit raspy and rough.

As much as he wanted to care for her, tend to her injuries and not leave her he knew all too well the Teen Titans would soon be upon them, but he could not tear himself away from her. Raven looked so weak, so physically broken, and all he could do was gently move a strand of hair out of her face. But then his time was up, and he stood and walked away from her. Just as he was about to climb over the side and disappear he heard her move, and looked to see two purple eyes watching him go, lips struggling to say something. For a moment she could not make a sound, but after a couple tries to managed to whisper:

"S-Slade… I-"

"I know, you aren't interested," he smiled sadly, seeing her eyes knit in confusion and she shook her head as much as she was able.

"No. I… thank you," part of her wanted to ask what was it he said before but that part was too tired to be witty and sarcastic.

"There is no need. Now sleep, your friends will be here soon," she nodded numbly, closing her eyes obediently. Within moments her rise and fall became shallow from sleep, yet Slade still had not left. She will never know, her mind will probably block most of this out, especially the part with him in it. Saddened by this, and rushed by seeing Starfire quickly approaching, he swung over the side, landing in an alley and disappearing, knowing she was in good hands.


	8. Chapter 8

The alarm clock sounded and was clicked off, the one it was meant to wake up had not slept. He had not slept in days, steadily growing more anxious as he watched the news for her, expecting to see her back to her introverted, dark, sarcastic, dangerously powerful self. But her absence permeated the news reports of the Teen Titans, the released reports on her vague and few. Just "an injury" and that she was "recovering." Had he been playing poker with the Teen Titans he could have taken all their money without trying. Their faces did not indicate that she was recovering, or even stable. More often than not, there were only three team members fighting at a time, one was always with Raven. Based on what he had seen, Robin seemed to be taking it the hardest, his fighting growing more aggressive to put down the criminal as quickly as possible when he wasn't with Raven.

A groan escaped him as he rubbed his face and ran a hand through his hair, not wanting to get up and face yet another day where he would ask himself: 'If I had taken her, tended to her immediately, would she be better?' And then face another day where he did not know the answer, where he was not sure if she would even survive. Her injuries had been numerous and severe: burns all over her back, legs, feet, and hands; heat blisters where her skin had better protection; both arms broken; smoke inhalation; and bite and claw marks. Just the burns would be enough, ranging from first to third degree for the few minutes he had seen them, but the additional damage from Adonis only added to the trauma.

Adonis. Just thinking about him made the man clench his fists and desire to kill Adonis slowly. He was not a forgiving man to begin with, but what Adonis had done, what Adonis had caused… He stopped, pushing it from his mind by physically standing and looking at himself in the mirror. The lack of sleep was beginning to show, dark circles forming under his eyes.

The thought of his eyes caused a sad smile to flicker across his face. Even though there was still scaring, a purple eye stared back at him, not matching his original eye. The eye had been very sensitive at first, so he had continued his routine of wearing an eye patch, only now it was to protect an eye, not an empty socket. But it had steadily grown stronger until it matched the other in ability. It had been disconcerting at first, getting used to using both eyes, even just having both eyes, but quickly he had adapted. That was when he took off the eye patch for good, something he had not thought possible. If he only saw her once more, was only allowed to say one last thing to her, he would thank Raven for his eye.

On that thought he stood, dressing and going out to get food. He chewed food he did not taste as he looked at papers strewn about the table. There were no new plans for heists, not until she had recovered, he would rather not distract the Teen Titans while one of them was dying for all he knew. Sure, she had healing abilities, but were they that good? Instead his down time was filled with worrying, sketching, or taking out his frustration on some poor workout equipment. If he did want to help her, even indirectly, the only way he could see doing it was possibly keeping crime down so her friends could be with her. Even if she passed away, at least she would die feeling her friend's love for her. Perhaps that could somehow ease it, armed with the knowledge she would no longer be in pain. This idea was what had first led him to sketching designs of equipment and suits, from the ornately detailed to the efficiently simplistic. The mask was proving to be the hardest, a full face mask gave the most protection and privacy, yet most heroes didn't completely conceal their face. But he wasn't a hero, so why play by the rules? Because they might be suspicious of a full face mask, something more typical might suffice. He was leaning more towards a mask that covered the top half of his face, his nose up, although that did leave his jaw vulnerable. And then there were the colors, they would obviously need to be different from black and orange.

So many things to consider, he was glad he didn't make a habit of making new suits often. He considered the pros and cons of various things from the color white to shoulder armor as he worked out and trained to keep in top form. Having a younger body had its advantages, and allowed him to work on things he had not been able to before, such as increasing flexibility past what it had been. But the new body also required strength training to get his muscles back to what they once were. One thing he had noticed when he first regained his body: everything was loose. He had not realized that the age this body was at was so much slimmer, granted it's not like he had been fat before, but his muscles particularly in his arms and chest had more years of building. Now he was trying to building them back up again, faster, but building muscles that are already built can be slow.

His morning routine completed, he had an hour or so of down time, during which he began detailed outlines on a suit, along with a schematic of weapons to go with it. But while he was figuring out the physical form of this hero he realized a name was needed. And that was far more difficult to decide on. Something suitable, elegant, simple, special to him and pertaining to him. It is difficult to chose a name for yourself when it is for something important.

Not that he fully knew what this suit was for. Somewhere inside he thought it was an attempt to get closer to the Titans, another a possible deep seated desire to make amends for his past. But the most prominent reason was that if he could keep the city quiet with his villain influence and as a hero, then the Teen Titans could see that Raven is properly taken care of.

His free time was over as he was half way done with a rough draft of a final suit, and he returned to his training area, getting some robots he had constructed specifically for training purposes. Some were programmed for bulk and strength attacks, others speed. Some dealt with ranged attacks and others hand to hand, while others also had flight programming designed for racing and chasing down targets. By combining different groups or focusing on one style he was able to prepare for just about anything. And it kept training interesting, more interesting than hitting a punching bag a few times between crunches. Today Slade just wanted to beat something, something he could overcome, so he used his hand to hand brute fighters. Sparing was dragged on for over an hour, with a couple minute intervals while the robots waited for their automated restart that allowed him a breather between matches. Today, however, once he had shut down each of the hand to hand brutes he started another group, so that for over an hour he was constantly engaged and focused on something besides a small bloody hand on his chest and weak purple eyes.

But eventually fatigue and hunger got to him, while he had managed to continue to battle over an hour against a group of robots his lack of sleep was affecting his fighting abilities. So after a hearty lunch he found himself lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. But as always, when he was tired and thought he could sleep thoughts of her would creep into his mind.

This time it was about her mind, how as an empath she had mentally reached out and shared her emotions while touching his. He started understanding telepathy and empathy after Trigon, Raven had received her powers from her father's side. As he was also touched by demons, specifically Trigon as well, it seemed to have left a residual effect on him, where he was much more adept than the average human at telepathy. Not that he was able to read minds or even project thought's into another's mind, but when his mind was touched he not only sensed it he was also able to follow it back, communicate if the other made the call. Due to Raven touching his mind before, even just brushing against it, it had made him sensitive enough to her to sense her oh so slightly, but it was the emotions she had conveyed, perhaps on accident, when he saved her from the fire.

He had excepted hate or distrust when she first touched and identified his mind, yet she was closer to relieved. But he wrote that off as her just glad someone could possibly rescue her. It was when she had touched him, when she was about to lose consciousness that her emotions grew very strange. Strange because even he could not understand what she had been feeling: hope of escape, acceptance of death, disconnect from reality thinking it might be a dream, safety in his arms, and contentment being there.

He only hoped that she would accept his offer, he wanted to not only shape her powers but also grow his as well learning from her quietly. It was the reason why he was after items that could boost any powers he might have from Trigon left over. If they could potentially be used for Raven's own enhancement or his, then it was a worthy target. The idea occurred to him that perhaps he was so obsessed with this all of a sudden because of a desire to reach out, find, and touch her mind as she had touched his, sooth her if she was in pain. Perhaps he could go out looking for The Shepardess, she might be able to contact Raven, although it seemed whenever he wanted her or needed her she was no where to be seen.

With his eyes closed he placed a hand over his right eye, feeling her fingers on his mask and chest. She was so light in touch, and her emotions so clear as she healed him. Surely she had not intended to heal his eye, he thought it happened after he thanked her, her shock was partnered with an urge to help a grateful person. How many times had he saved her life now? Probably still fewer times than he had nearly killed her. The nobility of heroes was really quite amazing, try to kill them three or four times and they'll hate you but if you save them once they'll feel as if they owe you something. It would make more sense to not help until after the times nearly killed equaled or surpassed the times saved. Must have something to do with compassion and mercy, not things he exercised on a regular basis. It was one of the defining characteristics of a hero and one of their serious flaws, easily exploited. But he had no intention of taking advantage of Raven's good intentions. Instead he found a desire for her trust rather than the forced commitment of Robin or the bitter and manipulated Terra. Raven was not like Terra, while Terra's desire for control eventually caused her to join him Raven sought to do it on her own and if she proved unstable or destructive she would withdraw from the others until she was no longer a serious danger. Raven was harder to corrupt, it made her a challenge. But there was more to it than that, so much more.

But that train of thought was cut off, cut off purposefully as he strode out of his room and into a room full of exercise equipment. Silently he focused on nothing but lifting weights, when he grew frustrated with that he moved to taking out his pent up emotions on a punching bag. Despite his efforts to focus on the punch and kick, subconsciously he was getting worked up over his inability to do anything of use. After so many days being able to do nothing-

Metal snapped and the punching bag slammed to the floor, the chain broken. He realized how heavily he was breathing, not from exertion but infuriation. He growled, kicking the fallen bag for good measure before he resumed sketching and planning out a possible suit. By evening he was making rough models of weapons for it, focusing his energy on making them as quickly and as well as possible.

After a late dinner and another round of working out and training, he was once more lying in bed and staring at the ceiling for another night of restless sleep. He wanted to touch her mind, feel her once more. Deciding to experiment, he pushed himself up and against the wall, crossing his legs to take up a sort of meditation pose. His eyes closed as he focused on feeling his body, feeling within his own mind before he tried to feel outside of himself. But despite his efforts, he felt nothing, yet he was aware that he was outside of his body. As if he had let go of a tether and was now drifting into a void. Worried, he drew himself back in before he had gone out too far, his eyes snapping open as he panted. But he had done it, sort of, he had reached out beyond his body, now to just figure out how to sense others, perhaps even make contact with them.

Again he concentrated, separating from his body once more, but as he pushed farther out he hit what felt like a bog, slowing him down and making it harder for him to go farther, but he fought against it, forcing his way until he hit a wall and felt himself slipping away. Even more concerned this time he struggled back through the invisible water and rushed back into his own body. It seemed that might be the limit of his reach, but he had no idea how far that was in physical terms. He glanced at the clock, seeing it read 1:28, and realized just how long this was really taking, he had been at it for hours. No wonder he was beginning to feel off and developing a headache. But as sleep was not to come to him if he chased it, he sighed and closed his eyes again, this time exploring the region between himself and the slowness before the edge. Some time later, he slumped to the side, fitfully asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

What was that infernal beeping? It was the first thing she was aware of, and it would not shut up. How bothersome, how is a girl to sleep with that noise? Although now that she thought about it, it sounded a lot like a monitor in a hospital, which would explain why it hurt so much. Why was she in a hospital bed? Memories crept back to her as she forced her eyes open to see a dark room, lit only by the window and screens of the monitors.

That's right, there had been a fire while she was fighting Adonis, and she wasn't able to get out… Her moan alerted someone seated in the room, slumped in a chair and dozing off until he heard her stir. It turned out to be Robin, relieved Raven had finally woken up.

"Raven!" he was at her side in an instant, "thank God you're awake! How do you feel? Can I get you anything?" He looked tired, how long had she been unconscious? He looked like he had been worried for days…

"Like Hell, water and pain killers please," Raven said, startled at how raspy her voice was, and how much her throat hurt like she had tried to swallow sand. Although she had breathed in a lot of smoke, she remembered that much. Robin didn't give her pain medication, but he did get her a glass that she drank slowly. The water was cold, painful against her throat after not drinking for so long, but it was a good pain so she said nothing of it.

"Our dear friend Raven is awake?" Starfire's head popped into the room, her hair messy from sleep. Beast Boy came in groggily a few moments after her, and Cyborg soon after that. They all shared their relief that she had woken up, making Raven wonder how long she had been asleep for, the way they looked at her, the surprise and gratefulness that she was awake. As if they had almost given up hope for her. After several minutes of catching up and sharing their happiness that she was no longer in a coma Robin shooed them out on the basis that Raven was tired and needed rest. She wasn't going to argue with him as she was fighting back the urge to yawn, but she could also sense he wanted to be alone with her before she fell asleep once more. When the room was empty except for Raven and Robin he sat down again, looking at her. All she could do was brace herself.

"Raven, what happened?" she expected this question, though his growing sense of guilt she did not understand.

"I don't remember much, I was fighting Adonis, a fire started and I told you, Adonis and I kept fighting but I beat him off, then there was the fire…" she remembered letting go of her control in order to defeat Adonis, but then she wasn't able to use her powers to get out. She couldn't call for help, she couldn't escape.

"You don't remember how you got out? We found you on the rooftop of a building nearby…" he left it unsaid that either she managed to get out herself or someone rescued her, which would lead to the next obvious question of who. Raven thought hard, trying to remember what had really happened, but she shook her head slowly.

"I heard someone, so I shouted and he –it was a big someone- must have picked me up… I must have passed out from the pain… what happened to me?" Raven asked Robin, curious about what her injuries were and how long she was in a healing coma. Robin looked to the wall, she could feel his regret and wondered what he could possibly feel responsible for.

"Burns all over, bites and lacerations from Adonis, both arms were broken, not to mention internal injuries, it looks like you've healed the arms and most of the other damage. You stopped hovering around noon today, I guess your body just wanted to rest without healing itself as well," Raven's gaze probed for more answers, and Robin conceded after a moment.

"You were unconscious for over two weeks. According to the records about 424 hours, that's 17 and a half days," Raven's shocked stare prompted Robin to keep talking.

"You were healing slower than normal, from what we could tell your body healed the most serious things first like the internal damage and the worst of the burns. That alone took a few days, and then it had to deal with all the surface damage, and there was a lot of it. Cyborg said most of your skin was either burned or heat damaged. He also said you should be dead after all the smoke you inhaled and the damage from that," seemed Robin was coming back to asking her about how she had gotten out.

"Do you remember anything about who got you out? Or what happened after you got out?" Raven shook her head again, remembering that she had woken up briefly before passing out. She had spoken to whoever had saved her, and he had said something, his voice was familiar… Singing. That voice had sung to her? That didn't make sense, but she barely remembered someone had touched her mind and sung to her while she was healing, he had made her feel safe and warm, almost happy. Was he a telepath? Who did she know that was a telepath? Great, more questions to be answered.

"Robin, did someone come here and sing to me?" Robin's bewildered look answered that question for her, even before he shook his head slowly. He was about to ask when she spoke again.

"I dreamed someone sang to me. –yawn- I'm tired," she left the obvious 'so leave me alone so I can sleep' unsaid, but Robin got her gist and stood with a nod. His hand was on the door when he looked at her, his emotions so jumbled she couldn't properly read all of them. She picked up more of the guilt and relief, and that softer emotion underneath, among other emotions such as fatigue, anger, and joy.

"I'm glad you're better, Raven. I- … get some sleep, sweet dreams Raven," she nodded and he left the room and closed the door behind him, leaving her alone in the dark. Raven looked out the window for several minutes as she relaxed into the bed, putting aside the questions so she could get some proper rest.

With Raven now out the worst of it, the other four Teen Titans were now on every case. The media had been informed to keep nasty rumors at bay, but Raven had yet to be seen by the city. This was all right by her as she was still healing slowly, and though she wouldn't tell the others she also had limited control of her powers. She didn't want the criminals of Jump City to see her so weak as they might use it to their advantage. If they were in a battle, the other Teen Titans would have to protect her, thus leaving themselves open for attack. So she remained at the Tower, resting and healing as quickly as she could. This meant sleeping a lot, the pain drugs helped keep her from dreaming, and moving very little. Raven kept watch on the Teen Titans by following the news before they came home with their stories of triumph, which also meant she saw a new hero at a crime scene.

"Who the HELL do yo-ugh!" a blow to the stomach shut up the trespasser, sending him to the floor clutching his gut as he tried to regain his breath. A thin and greasy man tried to hit his attacker with a piece of pipe, but with a quick twist he was unarmed and left with a broken wrist. The group of six men had hoped nothing would alert the police or Teen Titans, but they had not bet on another hero stopping them, it terrified the gang. He was new, those who had seen him thought they were insane but his reputation was growing. He was a fierce fighter, swift and agile but with an immense amount of strength behind his hits. Landing a blow on the man was hard, he seemed to calculate every move before you even thought of it and he knew how to use openings to strike hard and fast to cripple a person. The Teen Titans operated in a much more reserved fashion, never trying to seriously injure anyone, merely stop them and get them to surrender to the police. But this man willingly gave out injuries, breaking wrists and dislocating joints to put his target out of commission. All one would see was a flash of blue and grey before they felt their knees pop and hit the ground. The top of his face was covered, but his white hair and mouth were visible, as were his eyes. And it was his eyes that could stop a person in their tracks, his intense glare from one purple and one blue eye. His look let anyone he was fighting know they never stood a chance.

The group of men were robbing a jewelry store that was closed for the evening, and while they had anticipated alarms and gotten around them they had been surprised by the vigilante who came out of no where. When the masked man slammed one of them through a glass case the silent alarm was tripped, alerting the police and Teen Titans. But the robbers were more focused on the man who now was preventing them from escaping. Even though they tried rushing at him, he still managed to avoid and hit them. By the time the Teen Titans and police arrived, complete with news cameras, those who could use their legs were running for it. Even upon seeing the Teen Titans they ran straight through them as if they would act as a shield. Bewildered at the two men who cowered behind the teenagers and police, all Robin could do for a moment was glance between the two men hiding, the four men moaning on the floor, and the man who stood still, glare softened to an examining look towards the Teen Titans. As if looking for something that was not there. Robin approached him as the police dealt with the criminals.

"Well, uhh, that was effective. Thanks…?" the Boy Wonder was a bit at a loss at what to say, especially as the unknown hero looked at him blankly. But he nodded to accept the thanks before he turned to walk away. He was stopped by the curious Teen Titans, first with Robin's speech and then by an admiring Beast Boy.

"Wait! Who are you? We didn't know there was a hero passing through the city," the young man stopped, glancing over his shoulder before turning his attention to Beast Boy.

"Dude how'd ya do that? You must have awesome powers!" the green boy started, wishing he had seen the new hero in action instead of the aftermath. This and Robin's comment made the hero smirk.

"Not passing through. Just trying something new," the man spoke for the first time, voice deep and nonchalant as he shrugged. He brushed the hero business off as if he was going to pick up metalworking next week and opera singing the week after. Beast Boy was the only one so openly fawning on him, Cyborg was taking in the injuries of the criminals while Starfire's focus was on Robin who had noticed the hero had not given his name. Robin's eyebrows came together and he stepped closer to the man.

"I didn't catch a name in there."

"Because I didn't give one. When I have one you'll be the first to know," the voice was polite, but the mind behind it was not. He had no interest in staying, he knew Robin's suspicious mind and worried about his voice and body might trigger a memory. But a thought crossed his mind and he quickly considered possible ways to set his terrible idea into action. So he grinned in a sort of friendly and confident way, perhaps a bit arrogant, in order to smooth Robin's feathers.

"I didn't figure out all the details, perhaps I should have before I started this 'super hero' stuff," he said with a relaxed shrug, much to everyone's bewilderment. Beast Boy was eager to help him out.

"What powers do you have?" he asked, wanting to help this super cool dude. He smirked.

"None," Beast Boy went quiet for a moment, eyes wide.

"Then… how did-" he laughed at Beast Boy's question, nodding back to Robin.

"Well he doesn't have powers," the 'he' being Robin, "I'm just good at hand to hand." Robin took a liking to someone else fighting evil without powers, though there was bound to be some suspicion somewhere in him still. But nevertheless Robin grinned, more friendly now.

"I wouldn't mind seeing your fighting style sometime. Although it looks more…" he glanced at one of the criminals screaming as his shoulder was pushed back into place, "ruthless than how I fight. If you want to keep up this 'super hero' stuff, give us a call," and with that Robin handed him a communicator. Well, this wasn't one of the top ways to execute the plan, but it would do just fine. The man accepted it with a smile and a nod before he waved and turned away.

"And if there's trouble-" Robin called as the man began to run.

"I know who to call!" the man shouted back before he ducked into an alley, jumped onto the top of a dumpster and flipped up the fire escape to the roof tops. Once he was out of sight of the Teen Titans he smirked at the irony of it all. If Robin knew who he had just handed a communicator to the Boy Wonder might have lost all his feathers.

Back at the T-Tower Raven stared at the television screen with a distinct feeling that she knew that person. But she could not place him. And she had a nagging feeling she really needed to know who he was.


	10. Chapter 10

Four days later and the Teen Titans, minus Raven, were sitting in the T car driving to answer a call once more. Though the new hero had yet to receive a name, thus unofficially dubbed 'cool new guy' by Beast Boy, he had called the Teen Titans no less than three times to report something. By their guess he lived in the city, and possibly a bad part of it, because he seemed to find things before or shortly after the police found out. Not having to travel from the T Tower to the city, he was usually on the scene before they arrived and managed to hold his own until they came. The injuries dealt out by him lessened from what they were before, or at least they weren't as serious as shattering someone's tibia. Perhaps this was due to sheer numbers, once the Teen Titans arrived he no longer had to contain and subdue them all as quickly as possible. Regardless, the Teen Titans were becoming more accustomed to him, and much more friendly. They had even discussed inviting him to their home, a sort of "you're more than just a random honorary Titan we met on the street" gesture. Raven was the only one yet to meet him and make her judgment, but the others were warming up to him quickly as they fought together against crime. His style was familiar, yet they reasoned that it was because it seemed to be like Robin's fighting style, regardless none of them questioned him.

The scene this time was Mumbo robbing a bank, nothing too extraordinary, by the time they arrived the now familiar flash of blue and silver darted behind the windows, fighting the magician. A sleight of hand trick managed to knock the new hero off balance when he glanced at the Teen Titans with the same searching glance he had every time they encountered each other. A starbolt stopped Mumbo from taking advantage of the momentary loss in focus, and for that the man gave the Tamaranaen a generous smile. The blush that flashed across her face was not the reaction he expected, but he thought little of it and within ten minutes Mumbo was handed over to the police. With another job well done, he was about to depart as always when he was stopped.

"Please, friend! Will you not come back to the Tower with us? You are most welcome to come!" his mismatched eyes looked into the alien green eyes in momentary shock, but mentally he quickly recovered and forced himself not to start smirking. He had hoped for this, but had not expected it so quickly. Glancing at the others they gave their approval, smiling and gazing at him hopefully.

Which explains why a short time later he was walking into a place he never thought he would be invited to enter: Titans Tower. While he had assured them he could not stay long, not wanting to be rude and impose on them, he kept a look out for what he was always hoping to see. And soon after arriving and being seated at the table while Starfire decided to make something that sounded like " Gor'shig'iffu " a quiet girl entered the room.

He felt her before he looked up and saw her, it was strange being familiar with someone's mind like that, he wasn't even aware of it because of how slight it was until it was brought into sharp focus. She looked better than the last time he had seen her in person, but he could see faint scars on her legs where her healing had not yet completely removed the damage. Perhaps the damage was so great that her powers could not heal them completely without leaving scaring. Considering what had happened she was lucky to be alive, a couple faint scars seemed like a decent trade for her life. The half demon also looked thinner, recovering but still tired and thin. Their eyes met and she gave him a quizzical look, curious and wondering about why he was so familiar. She had seen him on the news, the others had talked about him, but there was something else to him she could not place.

"Hey Raven…" he did not hear the rest of what Robin said because Starfire was addressing him, making him look away from Raven as Robin approached her. The naïve alien held a strange dish of food in her hands –at least he thought it was suppose to be food- that she was offering to him, her face slightly flushed.

"Have you thought of your hero name?" Starfire asked him as he hesitantly poked an orange blob on his plate with a spoon. But he felt eyes on him, Raven was studying him with interest.

"No, still haven't thought of anything fitting…" he carried on his conversation with Starfire, fighting the urge to turn and look at Raven full on, meet her gaze.

"How are you feeling?" Robin asked softly, concerned for her even now that she was almost fully healed. Raven rolled her eyes at Robin, a grin flickering across her face.

"Same as always: I'm fine. You can stop worrying, Robin," she assured him, glancing at the man in blue and gray before looking back at Robin when his hand brushed against her arm.

"I always worry, you know me," Robin said in a joking manner, and she knew it was true from what she sensed from him. Raven went quiet to look at the unnamed hero, taking him in and trying to understand him.

The main body piece was dark blue, as were the boots, but the sides were trimmed in silver along with his arms and gloves. He wore sleek armor for protection, the armor smaller than plates but larger than scale armor. Similar to the armor Starfire and Blackfire wore, the armor covering his arms and shoulders where the silver matched the metal. Raven assumed the rest of his armor was within the suit and not visible. He had a belt, most likely packed with gadgets and other handy items he might need. He was tall, taller than Robin and even Cyborg, not as bulky as Cyborg but thicker than Robin. Even with the armor and suit his sculpted body was visible, lean but solid. His hair was white, or at the most a very pale gray. But his eyes, she wanted to see his eyes, they were so different, one light and the other dark. Their short gaze from across the room was not enough for her to determine their color, learn their uniqueness. He held himself alert and upright, confident and assertive in his body language. Surprising considering he was trying to eat something Starfire had 'cooked,' Raven suspected that confidence might diminish after swallowing, maybe even before. But Robin decided to save him, leading Raven over to him in order to introduce them properly. He seemed relieved.

"This is Raven, Raven this is… well, whatever he names himself," Robin said and Raven sensed a strange amusement from him, but he nodded and offered his hand, which she accepted in a handshake. Her hand was so small in his, but his grip was delicate. They nodded once in acknowledgement.

"The others have told me all about you, good to finally meet you," Raven said in a somewhat polite and formal voice, knowing Robin wanted her opinion on him before the next big step of making him more than an honorary Titan. He smiled at her, softly.

"Pleasure to meet you, Raven," why was his voice so familiar to her? "And I'm surprised they talked about me, I'm pretty boring," he said jokingly, although Starfire did not understand the joking part and was about to start on how he is in fact not boring, but Robin stopped her. Now for the next step…

"So is someone going to give me the grand tour of this place?" he asked to everyone, but his eyes were on Raven. She seemed to understand, nodding and much to the surprise of everyone said:

"I'll show you around, follow me," she turned and started walking away before he even agreed, but he did with an: "as you wish." The others were in a state of shock that Raven seemed to warm up to a stranger so fast and did not immediately run off to join them as they left the room. They made it down the hall, Raven giving business like descriptions of the parts of the Tower he had already seen as well as the parts they were passing, but once they were well away from the others she stopped and looked at him seriously.

"Do I know you?" she asked before she fully registered his eyes, and for a moment she was silent as she stared into one purple and one light blue eye. He smiled, very slightly, gazing back into her violet eyes.

"No, you don't," he said after a moment, causing her to blink and sense for him, his mind was so familiar, as was his voice, it was starting to bother her. While she expected the typical human mind without barriers or awareness of empathic probing, she felt a response: his mind touched hers as she approached. Raven felt his emotions, but was for the most part blocked unless she wanted to force her way in, but she could pick up enough to consider her next few questions.

"Do you know me?" she asked, hoping to catch him off guard and instead getting a somehow sad look and a head shake. Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to understand why he was so familiar, again brushing his mind to better understand. It was strange, their minds gently brushing, trying to understand the other without delving deeper into the other, instead staying with a surface scan. Whether it was out of respect or fear Raven was not sure, but another question popped into her head as she remembered a deep voice in her mind.

"Do you sing?" he blinked, confused by that question and growing anxious for some reason that only interested her more.

"Why would you ask that?" he questioned back, perhaps trying to get her on the defensive, but before she could retort she felt another coming and turned away, returning to her professional tour. It turned out to be Starfire, who accompanied them, ended up leading the tour, and stayed by him for the rest of the day before he was taken back home. Before he was even off the island he was already planning a way to get back on, to talk to Raven again. He was relieved that Raven also seemed eager to see him again to probe deeper. Lucky for both of them, Raven's cabin fever caused her to leave at an absurd time while the others slept and he, unable to sleep as well, went walking around the streets.


	11. Chapter 11

Perhaps it was the familiarity of minds that drew them closer, a sort of subconscious radar until they stood under a street lamp, silently looking at the other. The silence continued as he turned, walking away and she in turn followed him and stepped quickly to walk beside him. For a time they walked like that, their minds touching the other in hesitant intrigue, not sure what to do or expect.

"Not well." She arched an eyebrow and looked at him.

"Excuse me?" his lip twitched up at her confusion, and he looked at her before he clarified.

"You asked if I sing, not very well. Don't have the voice for it," he shrugged at his explanation, obviously he didn't value singing all that much, at least not him singing. She nodded as she understood, going quiet until she came up with another question.

"What am I suppose to call you? I doubt you'll answer 'Cool New Guy,'" he smirked at Beast Boy's name for him and shook his head.

"Naw, I probably wouldn't. I don't have a hero name yet, I'm still new at this. Still getting used to it," she hmmed at his words, thinking he did need a name of some sort. She also wondered what he did before becoming a hero. So she decided to pry.

"What made you do it? Become a hero, I mean," Raven suspected it would be a touchy subject, so she jerked back when he broke out into a deep, harsh laugh and shook his head. A glance at her though quieted him, her honest gaze bringing a strange smile to his face.

"Something happened to someone I cared about. She got hurt, really hurt. I was able to save her, but I couldn't help her as I was then," his smile faded and he looked forward, not looking at Raven anymore as he finished, going quiet. The story was familiar, not just because it was a typical one but somehow more personal.

"What happened to her?" Raven asked before she could stop herself. A smile flickered on his face.

"She's fine, and she'll never know," with this he looked at her again, blue and purple eyes on her, and asked: "So what about you? Why did you become the hero?"

"I… wanted to fight my destiny, do good when I was fated to do evil," she didn't want to get into all the details, so a brief and vague answer seemed best to her.

"Did it work? Did you beat your destiny?" this time it was her that flickered a grin. She nodded, glancing at him and wondering why she had a feeling he knew the answer. They were quiet again, the city around them dim and quiet save the distant noise of the heart of the city. They were currently in a not so good area, but they saw no signs of danger for them or anyone else, so they let their feet wander.

"How do you feel about parties?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Why?" Raven asked, quirking her eyebrow and voice tinged with suspicion. Her feeling was quickly relieved.

"Seemed like a better question than your favorite color," he said this, shrugging at his lame question and attempt at conversation.

"Ahh. I don't like crowds. You'd blend right in at a rave though," she said with a glance at his bright hair and peculiar outfit. Of course she was accustomed to such costumes, she was a superhero and worked with superheroes after all, they all ran around in silly outfits when one thought about it.

"Hmm, flashing lights, pounding music, and drugs. Sounds like how I like spending my nights," his mock enthusiasm was just Raven's type, so naturally she went with it.

"More fun than crime fighting I'm sure," she said in mock seriousness as if to convince him to go to a club.

"Depends on who you're with. And I prefer being in control, drugs and alcohol lessen self control quite a bit," the first statement made her wonder, but the mention of control –especially self control- caught her attention.

"So you've never touched alcohol?" this was not the real question she wanted to ask him, because she didn't know what that question would be. She would have to talk to him about control later, his grasp of telepathy made her curious about if he could somehow help her. But admitting she wanted, needed, help was embarrassing.

"I have, it usually doesn't end well. If you are going to do something stupid, you should have more than one good reason for it," she wondered if it didn't end well for him or those around him. His philosophy made her wonder what sort of person he was, he didn't seem to be doing hero work out of the goodness in his heart if he needed reasons to do something. Unless that something stupid involved jumping off a cliff with a kite in an attempt to fly.

"Makes sense I guess… but sometimes the stupid thing is the right thing to do," she used this as a way to see what he was really like, or if doing the right thing could be considered 'stupid.'

"Unless it can benefit you in some way you only have one reason, and not a good one," so he had an angle to helping others, but what? It didn't add up.

"Well what about you? You fight crime, big or small, and you don't get thanks or payment for it. So what are your two reasons for fighting crime?" Raven pointed out the flaws in his logic, unless he wanted something not necessarily immediate. Like trust. She felt for anything suspicious on a surface level from him, but found none.

"… for her. And because it's the right thing to do," his philosophy was so self centered, but his reasons were not. This was one complex character already.

"The second one doesn't count, not a 'very good' reason I believe you said. So what is the second reason?" she decided to probe, if only to make him realize his logic was foolish with his own game.

"Penance. What is your second reason?" once again she found no falsehood in his statement, but she found herself even more intrigued by this answer.

"My second reason?" his question had caught her off guard and she blinked, violet eyes looking up at him in bewilderment. She realized how much shorter she was than him, perhaps a full foot.

"Your first reason for fighting crime was to beat destiny, what is your second reason for risking your life for people you have never met?" he met her gaze, glancing to the side to look at her as if he didn't want to look down his nose at her in a condescending manner.

"Penance. Same as you," was her coy answer, hinting a likeness between them in order to get him to talk about it. She realized this was rude of her, since she did not want to discuss her own story, but was intrigued by his.

"Penance? What could you have possibly done to spend your life fighting crime?" his eyes were wide as he looked at her, confused but once again there was the sense that he knew more about it then he let on.

"I could ask you the same thing," Raven shot back, feeling him probe and responding in kind and clenched her hands into fists.

"I asked first!" in retrospect, they would deny how immature this conversation was when it had started off so serious.

"How childish," she said this, childishly enough, to bother him.

"Childish would be storming off," he pointed out, trying to not seem childish while fighting back a grin.

"So are you going to go storming off then?" she shot back, suppressing a grin as well as she arched her eyebrow at him.

"Yes, I'll go to a rave where I'll fit right in!" he said, rolling his eyes and turning away from her to cross the street. She reached after him, taking hold of his arm.

"One problem Mr Rave, they don't let children into raves," she said with a patronizing tone and an amused smirk, her hand stopping him from walking further away. So instead he turned to her, bowing slightly to her.

"Then, Miss Raven, what should I do instead? I can't tell you what I'm atoning for," he said this placing a hand on his chest before straightening as she spoke.

"Give me two good reasons," she demanded in jest. His tone became more serious.

"One it's personal, two I'd go to jail, and three you would be pissed and possibly kill me. Three good enough for you?" by the end Raven realized he was being serious, and it worried her. What had he done? And why was her reaction one of the reasons? Surely it was to give her three instead of two and because she was right there…

"…Yes," she said quietly, the smirk and unusual humor gone as she thought. She felt for his mind, but he had receded. Was he hiding something? Obviously, but she sensed remorse, regret, and the definite sense that he was afraid to tell her. Afraid? He wanted to but couldn't, or wouldn't?

"Now, what are your two reasons for not telling me?" he asked, as if suspecting what she was thinking and wanting to distract her.

"Well one, it is also personal, and two it would probably change how you look at me. And it's the right thing to do. Will that be satisfactory?" he nodded, but gave her that look as if he already knew more than he should, and that she was wrong.

"Yes," he said, and a sort of finality to that conversation descended so for several minutes they were left to their own thoughts. They had receded from their mental contact, leaving the other alone. Again wishing to break the silence, he spoke another random question: "Favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Figured," he said, going quiet again.

"Yours?" she asked with mild interest.

"Orange," she would have thought blue or gray with his outfit, so she said nothing in response. Again they were quiet, this time unsure what to do or say. Just as she was contemplating speaking and touching his mind he interrupted her thoughts by saying:

"You should head back soon."

"Probably," she muttered, not feeling the urge to go back. Not yet. She paused, and was about to turn around to see what was causing the back of her neck to prickle when large hands grabbed her and pulled her to the side. She heard a shot, felt him holding her close, and she saw an angry man brandishing a gun. Her eyes flashed and her hand shot out, black energy tearing the gun apart as she heard him mutter under his breath.

"One of these days I'm going to get tired of saving your life…" for that blur of a moment, she saw past the barriers in his mind, but she was too focused on stopping their assaulter. With his weapon destroyed he made a run for it into an alley, but surprisingly the blue and gray hero prevented her from following, his face confused and suspicious.

"What did you just say?" Raven asked, looking up at him when his words registered completely in her mind. He blinked, shaking himself as if coming out of a trance before he looked down at her still in his protecting arms.

"Say? Nothing, just talking to myself," he tried to brush it off, his face growing red and he released her, backing off.

"You said something about my life…" she pushed, standing her ground and curious of what he had meant exactly. He glanced away from her and she stepped closer, but said nothing to push him, instead reaching out with her psyche, trying to convey a feeling of assurance. He was quiet, but looked at her, gazing at her for a moment, his mind feeling hers but not being all too receptive to it as he sighed.

"Another time, Raven. As much as I want to ask you to come with me… another time," she considered protesting, but when he said her name she felt something trigger, a memory she could not remember, so she said nothing as she felt his honesty in his words.

"You need to get home, get some sleep. And be careful," he began again, only this time she planned on doing as was suggested, but she didn't move away immediately, looking up at him, studying his face and his mind.

"I'm holding you to that…" she said, holding his gaze for a moment, they both knew this conversation was not finished as she stepped back and lifted into the air. From the sky she looked down at him, and he up at her, before she changed forms and flew home and he walked to his home. Raven felt his mind disappear as the distance increased, speculating on how powerful a telepath he really was, it seemed to be a very weak level of telepathy with a few strong points. His own mental defense was brilliant, and he was able to reach out to her mind, but there was no indication he had been able to extend as far with others. Normally this was because minds that are familiar with each other are able to connect over greater distances than with a stranger. Which raised the question, who was he?

She found herself curled up under her sheets, thinking about it all until she was nearly overwhelmed by everything. Dead tired, she looked out her window to see the skies change colors as the sun neared the horizon. As she drifted towards sleep, she thought how peaceful it would be to have someone singing like when she had been in coma and strong, warm arms around her.

Elsewhere in the city a man was in the same situation, unable to sleep as his thoughts swirled and became incoherent. He tried to process the day, what had happened, how much he had revealed and most of all seeing her again. This was ridiculous, she should not have this effect on him. It was illogical and it certainly didn't have two good reasons for it. Why had he blushed, and why had he been so unguarded with her? He slammed a pillow into his face, groaning into it. All he could do was force himself to relax, and as the sun crept up his mind rested, filled with purple and a delicate frame in his arms.


	12. Chapter 12

"Please! Leave me alone!" a young woman pleaded; she should not have been out so late, alone, and unarmed. Such easy prey for the low life that wandered the dangerous part of the city. Two men, larger than her and flashing blades ignored her pleas and merely punched her when she started screaming for help.

"Don't you know it's rude to hit a lady?" the question was deemed rhetorical when out of nowhere the two men doubled over in pain, seeing nothing but a flash of blue and gray.

"Who the hell are you?" one of the men snarled, glaring at the masked man who now stood between them and the woman. He smirked in reply.

"Call me Rave."

"What sort name is-" a high swinging kick caught the man in the jaw, breaking it and sending him to the ground. The hero grinned, staring down the other man who ran for it. With a glare and a kick to the man on the ground the blue and silver man looked at the woman. She had brown eyes and short brown hair, mid twenties, heavily applied make up, nothing too spectacular in his eyes.

"Let's get you home," he offered, seeing the shock sink in as her trembling increased. Carefully he took her arm, escorting her home so she would not pass out on the streets to be robbed after what had already happened. He turned around when he was alone once more, looking into the shadows. He knew someone was following him.

" 'Rave' ehh? Wonder where that name came from…" a familiar blonde emerged from the shadows, finger on her cheek as she pondered it. Her suggestion made him grow red.

"It's not what you think!" she laughed at him, looking at him to explain.

"If it isn't a play on her name then what is it?"

"Well… when Raven and I last spoke we talked about raves…" she laughed at this again, it was slightly absurd to her but she stopped when she saw how flustered he was getting. But her grin continued as she felt his uncontainable emotions, even if he didn't understand them she was very good with reading and distinguishing emotions. He crossed his arms, in a sort of silent 'happy now?' motion. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Oh don't be like that. Besides I know what will make you happy!" he raised an eyebrow, not looking very impressed yet, "Raven will be here soon."

"Wait what!?"

"Calm down, I sent for her!" she brushed it off with a wave of her hand, turning away from him to start walking in a random direction. He ran after her, catching up in a matter of strides.

"Why did you- how did you?" he demanded, momentary panic taking over him along with the anticipation of seeing her again. He could not help his glancing every which way in order to see her as soon as she arrived, and he caught the Shepardess giving him an amused look.

"A little eager there aren't ya?" she asked with a smirk, thoroughly amused by his blush. He blinked and thought for a moment.

"Should I tone it down…?" the man asked, concerned about his every action now as the blonde shrugged.

"For an empath Raven is possibly thicker than you are. I doubt you need to worry about it," he was unable to ask what she meant by that when the girl stopped paying attention to him, looking into the sky to watch the approaching dark figure. The black bird landed, evaporating to reveal Raven, her purple eyes instantly drawn to the man in shock. He flickered a smile, a bit put off as he no longer knew what exactly to do. Neither needed to worry about being awkward because the blonde took over with a bright smile and warm voice.

"Hello Raven! I figured you wouldn't be sleeping and knew you wouldn't mind coming out for an adventure," Raven looked at the girl, confused but enjoying the security and peace inside her mind.

"How did you know I wasn't sleeping?"

"What do you mean by an adventure?" they spoke at the same time, the purple haired girl and the blue masked boy. They glanced at each other and back to the blonde girl who did nothing but smirk in return. It was true Raven had not been sleeping, it seemed her emotions were not letting her sleep again as she had been tossing in bed for the past hour or so. An intense bout of uneasiness had riled up her other emotions so that she could feel herself loosing control again. The Shepardess' call had broken Raven out of her state and the urge to feel safe and serene made Raven not think twice before setting out to the city. But she had not expected to see him again so soon.

"I know everything Raven, and the adventure of running around the streets, stopping small crime, hanging out, and goofing off like a bunch of immature teenagers…" the blonde said with a grin, skipping away from them before she looked over her shoulder.

"Come on you two, don't dally! There is a little girl who ran away who is about to get kidnapped, let's stop her from being forced into prostitution," with nothing but a glance at the other, Raven and the man set out after her. The young woman's skip turned into a run, yet her strides still had a high leap in them as if this was a game, and her cheerful face reflected it. It did not match what they were doing at all, and it was downright strange to Raven.

Within minutes the Shepardess stopped at a street corner, looking down the street at an alley. Raven looked, seeing nothing at the moment and was about to ask why they had stopped when she heard the man next to her growl, he had spotted a tall and thin man dressed in a dark purple suit strolling down the street with a cane. He could tell by the way the purple dressed man held himself he was most likely carrying something and clearly was not the least bit worried about walking the streets at night. This man had power in the underground drug and prostitution rings, and it was possibly they knew each other. Not that the blue masked vigilante dealt with drugs or human trafficking, he preferred to take his power from other criminal activity.

"Can you sense her, Raven? Can you sense him?" The Shepardess asked, looking at Raven for a moment before she took a step closer to the building to remain unnoticed, a step they followed. Raven was quiet for a moment, focusing before she closed her eyes and extended her mind.

Obviously the first minds she touched was The Shepardess and the boy next to her, but she was more interested in finding the girl and feeling the man's mind. She found the pimp's mind first, and shuddered at the unfiltered thoughts.

"What do you feel? The man or the girl?" the girl's voice seemed so far away, yet Raven complied obediently to tell what she was picking up from him.

"So far just the man. His mind is so…. Vile."

"Find the girl, but keep pushing into his mind," the blonde urged, the boy watching in interest as he tried to extend his mind as well with much less success.

"How do I-"

"You can do two things at once. Just focus Raven," Raven nodded in response, eyebrows knitting together as she tried to find the girl while still digging into the man's mind.

"He's just… waiting. Someone is suppose to meet him, but he's late. Drugs I think, no, something else. A person. He's angry with the person, whoever it is, he wants to kill him…" Raven tried to make sense of the emotions, not realizing she was leaning into the building behind her as she spoke. "Tiger is supposed to bring him Jag because he backed out on a deal, didn't get the money, and now he is going to kill him, beat him with a gun but not fire it…" Somewhere Raven felt a hand take her arm, she was not aware that she was shaking from the raw and intense emotions from the man. Raven had never done this sort of thing with a person, she did not like getting deep into a person's mind, especially a criminal's. It was a dark place, she didn't want to lose herself there. Raven swallowed, unable to bring herself to describe the mental images the man, who called himself Leo, was practically fantasizing about, the gore and carnage of beating another man until his face was bloodied and his skull fractured and broken. It made her want to retch.

"Stay in his mind until you find the girl. Have you found her yet?" still the Shepardess was insistent on this, and Raven wondered why she was doing this to her.

"Stop it! Why are you making her do this?" the boy asked, supporting Raven but glaring at the Shepardess.

"Because she needs to be able to-"

"I found the girl!" Raven interrupted, fleeing from Leo's mind in an attempt to find a better mind to look in. "She is close by, in one of the nearby alleys. She is so young… she even has her stuffed giraffe with her. She's so scared… And hungry, she ran away earlier today." Instead of finding a safer mind Raven found another extreme, instead of the sadistic and deadly confidence of a man with illegal power she was now in the mind of a small eight year old girl, terrified and alone. All Raven could do was stop speaking, swallowing as she felt both minds. The man saw the little girl first, his lustful and greedy anticipation was quickly paired with the little girl's panic at seeing a strange man glaring at her from across the street.

"He's walking over to her, we have to stop him!" Raven jerked back into her mind as she spoke, and the Shepardess nodded once.

"You did good Raven, let's go kick some pimp-butt Rave!" the man nodded to this, and Raven noticed he had been supporting her. But the Shepardess motioned for Raven to come too as she ran around the corner to stop Leo from his intentions. Raven only managed to step around the corner and use her hand to keep her upright as she watched the Shepardess and the boy take down the pimp. Raven blinked, the words registering in her mind. In a matter of minutes the Shepardess was holding a little girl in her arms and murmuring to calm down the sobbing child and the boy was next to Raven again.

"I'm going to get this child home, I should be back soon. I suggest you guys head over to the lower end of 8th street, something is going to happen down there soon. I'll meet up with you guys there," The Shepardess said, walking away with the child and leaving Raven and the masked man alone, besides the pimp who was knocked out and now tied to a street light. Raven watched the blonde go before she looked at the masked man holding her.

" 'Rave?' " he looked at her, meeting her inquisitive gaze.

"I needed a name, our conversation gave me the idea," she merely nodded, accepting it as she tried to stand up. He held onto her, steadying her as she recovered.

"Are you alright?" she nodded once before she extended her mind, touching his.

"Who are you?" Raven asked, levels to her question. His mind blocked her the moment she asked, his defenses up once again. What was he hiding from her, and why? Why was he so familiar, and why did he make her feel safe in his arms? It was not the sort of peace that she felt around the Shepardess who seemed to emit calm and confidence, but it was a sense of security nonetheless. And yet he recoiled from her, not wanting to reveal details about himself. It made Raven all the more curious.

"We just established that I call myself 'Rave'…" Raven shook her head, straightening and stepping away from him. Luckily her knees didn't give out as she had worried.

"I got that much, but that's not what I meant," she explained without making it any clearer, causing Rave to give an amused smirk.

"So you are asking a masked man who he is? What is the logic in that?" with a roll of her eyes she shook her head again.

"Never mind, we should head over to 8th street, I'm fine now," instead of pursuing the conversation Rave let it go, falling into step next to her as they walked the streets toward their destination. They were silent for a time, Raven looking ahead and Rave looking at her through the corner of his eye. She was still thin, and there were dark rings under her eyes, the strain from what she had just done was obvious on her face.

"Why weren't you sleeping?" he asked after a few blocks of silence and she looked at him but glanced away when she met his gaze. She decided to be evasive about it.

"Couldn't I ask you the same thing?" her tactic did not work as she had hoped, he was not in a very secretive mood that night.

"I usually roam the cities this late, this is when all the crimes happen that the Teen Titans don't pay attention too," at that remark Raven knit her eyebrows and looked at him, her glare demanding an explanation for that accusation. He met her gaze with ease, calm.

"No alarms go off, the police aren't notified when most of it happens. How would the Teen Titans know of the little girl who ran away? I didn't see them there, saving her," Raven's glare softened, she realized he was right although she didn't want to admit it, so she stopped talking. The silence was filled by Rave's deep voice.

"So why weren't you sleeping?" this time Raven did not change the subject.

"Emotions weren't cooperating, I couldn't calm down," he took great interest in her answer, looking at her quizzically and silently urging her to explain. Her sense of tranquility began to fade into nervousness at trying to explain so touchy a subject.

"I'm not sure why, there is no reason for me to be anxious, I just felt agitated, like something was wrong or was about to go wrong," she felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle, and Raven could not stop herself from glancing over her shoulder. There was no one behind her, the street was empty and quiet.

"Why did you come out here then?" Rave asked, noticing she had stopped walking to look behind, she was getting tense.

"Because the Shepardess called me, she calms me down and I was afraid I was going to lose control," Raven bit her lip after saying that last part, she hadn't meant to say all that. But Rave was not surprised by that information, instead he grew concerned and turned toward Raven as they stood there.

"Why might you lose control?" she grew angry at his question, glaring at him even though she was more furious at herself for letting that slip. Even as it happened she knew this was part of her losing control and tried to rein it back in but her temper got the better of her, as well as her paranoia.

"What do you care? You don't know me! Just stay away from me!" by the end of it she was screaming, the only thing she was able to stop was her powers from being unleashed. Yet he looked at her, first in shock at her outburst and then concern. Even though she backed away from his touch he followed.

"Raven!" she growled, jerking away from his outstretched hand, but he was faster and took hold of her shoulders. The girl continued to fight his strong hands, not looking at him. "You need to calm down, this is your emotions getting the better of you!"

"Get off me! Let go of me!" she shouted, until he caught her eye and held her gaze. His mismatched eyes held no malice, only concern for her, his mind brushing against hers and meaning no harm. All she could do was swallow and drop her gaze, looking at the pavement between their feet. But he let go of her and stepped back, and for a strange reason she wished he hadn't moved away from her.

"I'm s-" she began when he cut her off.

"You've had a rough night. I can't imagine what it was like inside that monster's head," he said, making an excuse for her before he turned.

"We should probably keep going; we don't want to miss whatever is happening on 8th street," Raven nodded to this and followed him, embarrassed by what had just happened. She was just glad she hadn't hurt him on accident. They continued in silence until they reached the block they were to meet the Shepardess at.


	13. Chapter 13

8th street. Not the nicest neighborhood, but better than some areas of the city. Regardless it was still not nice enough to be walking around at night. Because it was a nicer part of the bad end of town it attracted more thieves, and it was also a place that was disputed by the local gangs, the latter being the reason Raven and Rave were there. When they first arrived on the block they saw nothing, but after a moment of glancing around in confusion heard shouts and the sound of people running. Several hundred yards from them several men bolted out of an alley, followed closely behind by several more men. They wore two different colors, the men in front wearing mostly green while the larger group behind wore a very bright yellow, it appeared to be a gang fight. Raven was unsure what they were suppose to do about a group of twenty or so men, they were severely outnumbered, but before she could ask Rave had bolted into the fray, getting ahead of the group and cutting them off.

"What are you-" Raven didn't bother finishing her question, staring in awe for a few moments as the masked man tried to stop the rest from not only escaping but from killing each other. Snapping out of it she raised her arms, grabbing a few of the men from the back and hanging them by their shirts from street lamps where they could not escape easily. This seemed to even out the numbers enough for the green men to turn and begin to try to kill the yellow group. To this Raven ran towards them, her hands making small flicks as her mouth quickly repeated her mantra, her magic pushing men apart so they could not kill each other and hooking their ankles when they tried to get away. Rave was fighting as swiftly as he could, knocking out those who were distracted by her while trying to not get stabbed. It did not take long for some of the men to figure out what Raven was doing, and before she realized it she was among the fighting herself, jumping back and trying to not get hurt as two men lunged at her. The chaos was added to when a shot was heard, each gang member drawing his hidden weapons. Raven could not tell who had the gun however, and was focused on not getting hurt amidst the mob of fighting men. A man from the yellow gang, armed with brass knuckles, caught Raven in the face, fist slamming into her jaw before she could block it. In the flash of pain Raven's control slipped, and the man was thrown through the air into a building, falling limply on the sidewalk. Rave was faring better than she was, and had managed to knock a dozen or so men unconscious, and was able to wrap up with the last few as they heard sirens in the distance.

"We should go, the Shepardess doesn't seem to like official law enforcement," Raven heard him say as she gingerly felt her face, but she did not question and followed him up the street a ways until he saw her face better in the light.

"What happened!?" he demanded, stopping as he inspected the injury. The left side of her face was bloodied and bruised from the brass knuckles, swelling and it was possible her jaw and cheek bone had some fractures. Raven didn't need to be an empath to see how angry he got, his gaze sharp and enraged as he bent closer to inspect it better.

"We were just stopping a gang fight…" Raven said sarcastically, although she winced when he touched the tender skin. She guessed his next response would have been something along the lines of 'I'm gonna kill him' or some smart reply, but instead his fierce eyes trailed to her purple eyes, his gaze softening, but he did not move his hand from her face.

"It will heal soon enough, give it a day or two," Raven assured him, speaking softly at how close they were. He nodded once, an oddly sad smile flickering across his face.

"You're a strong girl," he murmured, not explaining. His shields were lowered, and Raven felt something she was not sure of, and it confused her when she felt a similar feeling in her as they stood so close, looking at the other without a word. For some strange reason, Raven wanted to ki-

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything…" the familiar voice of the Shepardess broke them apart, and they looked at the smirking blonde. She chuckled at their flushing faces before she turned away from them and started to walk away.

"That wasn't-"

"We weren't- I-" they tried to explain, backing away from each other and being overall very bad at explaining themselves. To this the Shepardess laughed louder, waving off their attempts with her hand.

"Come along, the night is young! There are many other things to take care of before dawn," with a skip she beckoned them, and they knew they had little choice but to follow her.

The sun rose, the sky clear of clouds as it brightened with the day. The night of crime fighting had ended with the dawn, the Shepardess deciding they should watch the sunrise instead, although her yawns caused her to leave early. Which left the boy and the girl alone on the pier, swinging their feet over the ledge as they thought about the night's events. The ocean breeze ruffled their hair, the caws of sea birds and waves the only sound for a time.

"She was right you know. About needing to improve your physical combat skills," he was referring to one of the many discussions earlier that night, where the Shepardess chided Raven for getting punched in the face and how that would not have happened if Raven knew hand to hand combat on a better level. Bringing it back up again made Raven raise an eyebrow and look at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Along with my control, mental abilities, magic, and just about everything. Is there anything I don't need to work on?" she asked rhetorically, a bit annoyed with how much she had been bothered about that over the past several hours. Raven was already being pushed harder than she had in a long time, with going deeper into criminals minds and getting in the thick of gang fights. She considered herself lucky she had not exploded from the emotions and had only gotten a few minor injuries.

"Your sarcasm?" Raven slowly turned her head to look at him, seeing a grinning face peering at her. She fought back a smile as she elbowed him, which made him laugh, and laugh even harder when she muttered a "shut up."

"I have armor on you know… that doesn't hurt."

"Well it made me feel better!" she said, pouting as his smile faded from amusement to thoughtful respect.

"You are a powerful person, Raven, with a lot of potential. It would not be hard to enhance your skills, although I only know how to do the physical combat skills. I'm not exactly a physic master," Raven's smile faded as the first sentence sounded familiar. Someone had said something like that to her… but, wait, what? Why would he sound like-

"And I won't be around forever to keep you safe," he said with a shrug, looking out over the ocean with a smirk. He figured that might distract her from putting pieces together.

"Well damn. I was expecting a white horse and suit of knight's armor next time," Raven sighed in mock exasperation, throwing her hands up before crossing her arms across her chest in mock resignation at not getting a shiny prince on a horse. He snorted at her sarcasm.

"You would be the type of princess who breaks out of her own tower," Rave deduced, and Raven did not argue with it at all.

"And save the prince. Besides you let me get punched in the face, you are already failing at your duties," she just had to bring that up, smirking as she looked up at him, he looked at her again after rolling his eyes.

"Well I protected you most of the time, besides you can heal from that. It's not like I would let you get seriously injured or die or anything," he said this jokingly, but Raven thought of something a bit darker to see how he would react.

"Well where were you when I was trapped in that burning building several weeks back?" even though it was said lightly, it had more serious undertones, and Rave's playfulness died down as he glanced away, his mind blocking her so she could only sense shame and guilt. It bewildered her.

"I wasn't around yet," it was a simple answer but it left Raven without much to say. How does one respond to that?

"Oh."

"But I heard about it on the news, how did you get out?" he asked, trying to get the attention off of himself.

"Someone got me out," Raven said with a shrug, a nonchalant answer to a grave situation. She watched to see his reaction.

"Do you remember who? Was it Robin?" the last part was more a joke than a serious question, as if he was trying to play it off. But Raven went along with it regardless, despite how she wished to understand and know why he was being closed about himself.

"No, it wasn't. I don't remember who it was…" she confessed, she didn't remember much of what had happened. It had been a traumatic night; it was understandable the shock had blocked it from her memory. Although she desperately wished she could remember who it was.

"That's a shame, I wouldn't mind thanking him," Raven was brought out of her own thoughts by the comment, looking at him in confusion.

"Why? I mean I should be the one to find out who it was and thank him, it was my life after all," she wasn't sure why someone else would need to do the thanking for her, or why Rave would be so thrilled she was alive. Sure they got along well enough, but he wouldn't have been able to miss her if they never met, and they met after the fire.

"You aren't the only one who is glad you are alive," ah, so he was glad to have met her. The fire would have deprived that from him, right? Was that where he was going with this? But he looked so sad as he looked at her, his mind wandering and his voice growing faint.

"I'm sure your friends were worried about you," if only she knew how much it hurt him to say that, how guilty he was about it. Raven was not sure what to say again, not so much because of his words but because of his tone and expression.

"Yea, they were…" she had to look away; she couldn't look at his face when it was so… soft. Caring. They only just met, barely knew each other, yet he seemed to know her so well. She did not know how to react to that. For a few moments they were silent, both of them now looking over the water to the sun, now climbing into the sky, it was well past dawn.

"So what do you suggest I do? Training wise," this time it was Raven who changed the subject, unable to bear the silence. He was quiet in thought for a moment before he answered.

"Learn from the best I guess," with this, Raven saw an opportunity to lighten the mood.

"And who, in your opinion, is the best? Robin? You? Some ancient monk on a mountain top?" it worked, he smirked! She was pleased with herself while part of her wondered why she cared so much about the mood he was in.

"I am not the best, Robin is pretty good though. Or you could look at it like criminals do nowadays, where they study criminology and how the police work, once they understand that they are able to exploit it, find loopholes and weaknesses. But I doubt some generous gang leader is going to offer his training services," she grinned at the idea of being trained by the mafia, she needed hand to hand not assassination training. Although the look on the other Teen Titans' faces when she handled a sniper rifle would no doubt be priceless. Not that she knew what she would be using the sniper rifle for, it's not like she would ever be able to kill anyone.

"So I should go train with Brother Blood or Slade or someone like that?" Raven asked, looking at him for an honest opinion. She wasn't really considering that, she was sure he or Robin would be able to train her well enough, but there was already the opportunity with Slade… besides, she could always try to work out a deal of some sort. Maybe get Slade to ease off the Teen Titans? Or do a sort of double agent thing?

"It could be risky, especially if they figured out what was going on," he didn't say no, but he didn't say yes either. Rave just pointed out a very obvious problem in training with villains.

"Well… Slade has offered me an apprenticeship. He thinks because I have power and he has power we can become power hungry murderers together or something like that," to be honest she didn't know why she told Rave that, but if she could somehow play Slade… that would never work, Slade was too clever for that. Plus he always had an ace in the hole. But Raven noticed how Rave's eyes grew distant, vaguely amused by her statement.

"Slade is dangerous, probably the most dangerous out of all your enemies," his walls were up again, but Raven didn't mind so much at the moment as she nodded. She respected Slade for that, if only because that bastard refused to die. But that aside, he was a worthy nemesis for the Teen Titans, his cunning and craft only reflected on how capable the Teen Titans were for being able to beat him. But it is nearly impossible to outplay a master at his own game.

"I know, not to mention how problematic that would be with the rest of the team, they would freak out, even if I tried to explain my reasons," it was unlikely Robin would allow her to work for Slade undercover, no matter how valid the reasons were. He would rather it be himself doing it, not to mention Cyborg would be suspicious of it because he already knew of Slade's ambitions on her.

"It could go bad either way, a lose-lose situation if you got caught. But with promising rewards," she wasn't sure if he was supporting this or not, he kept arguing against it, but his tone and word choice somehow made it seem like he wanted her to do it. So she asked him right out.

"What do you think I should do, Rave?" they looked at each other for a moment, her waiting and him thinking.

"I honestly don't know, whatever you chose though, I'll protect you. The Shepardess would kill me if I let you get hurt," he said the last part with a smirk, and Raven grinned back at him, wondering what the Shepardess would want her to do in this situation. It was the Shepardess, who knew what she would think was best. Raven looked out over the water, the sun was now getting up into the sky, the city was waking up. For some time they sat looking out over the water as the sun inched higher and higher. A boat set sail and went out onto the water in the distance, slowly skimming across the horizon. Raven leaned back on her palms and yawned, and Rave broke the silence with a question.

"What would you do if I put my arm around you?" Raven glanced at him in surprise, but he was looking out over the water, as if not at all fazed by what he just asked. Yet he seemed completely serious about it.

"I don't know," she didn't know how she would react to be frank; she wouldn't try to kill him or anything.

"May I put my arm around you?" the fact that he asked permission got her to smirk, although she tried to hide it when he looked at her.

"I suppose that is permissible," he grinned at her when she tried to sound snobby about it, as if he was not allowed to even look at her without her consent. But since she had no outright objections, he put his arm around her, drawing her closer to him. She put her head on his shoulder, a bit confused about why she was starting to blush. But when she felt him softly touching her mind she couldn't help but smile and lean into him. Their minds sensed the other's but did not go deep, staying on the surface to respect privacy, but a comfortable feeling was exchanged as well as a mutual contentment with each other's company.

Until a beeping ruined it.

They both looked at Raven's communicator, and Raven moved away when she answered it, not wanting the others to see whom she was with. Were they awake already? Was something happening? She fought a yawn as she opened up the communicator and answered the call. It was Robin.

"Raven! There you are! Where are you?" Robin was outside it looked like, possibly on the top of Titan's Tower. Had he searched the whole place for her? She should have gone back hours ago before anyone was awake. This was not good.

"I'm watching the sunrise on the pier. Is something up?" Raven asked while stifling a yawn. It wasn't a lie; it just wasn't all the details to the truth. He hadn't asked whom she was with… But then again why should it matter whom Raven was with? She was not with a villain nor was she supposed to be at Titan's Tower at night unless she had permission.

"No… why the pier? What's wrong with the roof?" Robin asked in bewilderment, and Raven wondered what Robin had wanted her for. There must be some reason to him calling her, if he was looking for her why did he need her? Robin wasn't exactly the friendly wake up caller sort of person; he normally left her alone to wake up when she would. She was up at a reasonable hour most days. To his question she shrugged, glancing at an amused Rave.

"Nothing wrong with the roof, just a change of scenery I guess. Why did you call?" this was the second time Raven had asked about why Robin contacted her, and she wanted to know what was so important that he had to call her right then when things were so… nice.

"I wanted to do some early morning training sessions- do you have a black eye?" Robin noticed the discoloration left in her face, and his shock was rewarded by a surprised chuckled from Rave. Raven had to quickly think of an answer to get out of this one.

"I'm just tired, didn't get much sleep. Want me to head back so we can run some courses?" Raven asked him. Technically speaking her eyes were purple, and technically she was tired so she most likely had dark circles under her eyes, and technically she hadn't gotten much sleep if 'much' can be defined as 'any.' Robin let it drop and nodded.

"See you soon then, Raven!" they clicked off their communicators and Raven looked at Rave with a sigh that turned into a yawn.

"I guess you'll be getting some training in after all," he seemed a bit sour, and his mind had withdrawn from hers. She frowned a bit.

"Probably not much hand to hand, unless I ask," Raven said, guessing he may in fact be a bit jealous.

"Will you?" so he was a bit jealous, probably because he wanted to train her himself. She looked thoughtful for a moment before slowing shaking her head.

"Not today, haven't slept and all that. I'd rather be better rested before I try to tackle Robin," she said with a smirk, a bit playful and glad Rave softened a bit.

"You could come train with us you know," she added after a moment, but as she expected he shook her head, not accepting the offer.

"Things may get awkward. And I prefer to train on my own. Robin may not approve of my training methods," he smirked at her, yet she had a feeling he wasn't joking, which made her curious to know what he did to train. But she knew he wasn't going to tell her, so she focused on the first part.

"Awkward how?" Raven asked, her head titling a bit as she read him, looking for an answer. Would he be serious or joke around with this?

"Well Robin wouldn't like it if I showed him up in front of you…" he said, rolling his eyes slowly to look away from her before he looked back at her with a grin that she mirrored. Robin could be the competitive type. But an expression flashed across him, brief but shut down fast. Not fast enough to stop Raven from seeing it in his eyes. It was more serious, intense, and impulsive. But her intrigued expression seemed to tip him off, and he stood.

"You should get back before Robin starts to worry and calls again," he offered her his hand to help her up. She accepted, but did not stop looking at his face as she stood, her hand in his. She felt unease from him, anticipating he would step away but her grip tightened on his hand and her mouth opened.

"What was that emotion? Before you stood up? What were you thinking?" she noticed everything about him, his white hair messy from the night, his wide and nervous eyes, his strong facial structure, smooth skin, and she found herself drawing closer to him. Her breathing had paused for a moment, their eyes studying the other. Rave swallowed.

"I'd guess the same as you just about now," and with that he stepped away, Raven blinking as he pulled away from her. She found herself become angry, and she grabbed onto his arm.

"Where are you going? Why are you leaving?" she demanded, stepping in front of him and glaring at him. She was offended for some reason, like he didn't think highly enough of her. Why was that?

"Raven- trust me. It's for the best. This can't happen," she knew he wanted this too, whatever this was. Her anger turned into a sort of painful sadness, her hurt expression not well hidden and his resolve seemed to weaken.

"Why? What is this? What are you hiding from me? What are you protecting me from?" her voice was soft, confused, and he couldn't seem to stop himself from stepping back to her and touching her face. She bit her lip and went still as his hand held her face, his thumb tracing her jawline before it brushed over her lips. It was then she felt her emotions getting too loose, silently cursing. Why couldn't they be calm for one moment, when this was happening? How far could she get away with before her powers were unleashed? How much closer could they get as they closed the space between them? Her eyes naturally closed, head tilting slightly while she stood on tiptoe to be a little taller. She could feel his breath on her, although it was short, but her lips did not get the touch they desired.

"I'm sorry. We can't do this," the words were soft compared to the sound of black energy snapping in the air. And in a moment he was gone, her purple eyes opened to him running away, his emotions that of bitter resentment with… himself? A snarl escaped her lips and her eyes flashed black, energy destroying nearby crates and damaging the pier.

"DAMN YOU!" she screamed, fists tightly clenched before she softly muttered, "he better have more than two good reasons for this."


	14. Chapter 14

Another target exploded in a violent boom, and the course was cleared in record time. All Robin could do was glance at Raven in shock and fear, baffled by her aggression as she panted. It took Robin a moment to recover before he managed a hesitant: "Umm, good job?"

Raven drew in a deep breath through her nose before exhaling loudly from her mouth, fatigue getting the better of her now that she had destroyed a few things in her rage. Her slender fingers ran through her hair as she straightened, getting a grip.

"Thanks. I want sleep," she used that as her leave, not that Robin was about to argue, and went up to her room, leaving the course in ruins. It was obvious something was wrong; anyone could tell she was upset, but she did not want to bother trying to explain it to Robin or talk about it for that matter. She was not completely sure what had happened –or not happened as it where- but she knew she had every right to be angry about it.

She dropped onto her bed, face first in a pillow as she groaned. What was wrong with her? She was normally not this emotional about anything, or anyone. Although her father did manage to anger her it was nothing like this. What was it about Rave? There had to be something there she didn't know yet, although it was probably what he wasn't telling her. What a fickle and troublesome man, everything would be so much easier if she knew where she knew him from. Or at least that is what she presumed, she wouldn't know for sure until she found out. In the mean time she was going to do what she always did when her emotions were getting out of hand: meditate.

Resuming her customary position she went inside herself, encountering her frantic emotions. Pink and Red were for once on the same side as they ran about in a tizzy over it. Red, obviously, thought Raven should kill him, while Pink had a less violent approach, albeit a bit odd with the quantity of giggles and flowers she wanted. Grey was also prominent, yet still managed to remain quietly in the corner and look at her shoes.

"He just doesn't like us… why would he like us? He never will…" the gray cloaked Raven lamented, holding herself as tears welled up in her eyes.

"What!? That's silly! He has to like us! He laughs at our jokes!" the pink dressed emotion of happiness said bubbly, giggling as she skipped around in circles. She began to pick the petals off a daisy when Rage spoke up.

"That damn bastard doesn't have the balls to get close to us! And why should that low life human anyway? He should grovel at our feet along with the rest of the human race, as slaves!" Red shouted, voice deep and four eyes gleaming. Raven sighed as the emotions battled it out.

"But he can kick some ass! I thought you'd like how rough he can be when beating people up, Rage?" the emotion in green said, Bravery managing to slightly lessen Rage's rant.

"OH NOOO!" all stopped and looked at Pink, "He loves me not!" she declared, showing the last petal and the naked daisy in fear. Raven felt herself blush.

"Love!? How can you even be considering that? I can't- It wouldn't- he- I- no! Just no!" Raven stuttered, bewildered at how Happy had reached the conclusion of 'love' already. Surely she was joking? Knowledge tapped Raven's shoulder and readjusted her glasses.

"I doubt so, sure you may have feelings for him but I highly doubt love is anywhere close to it. Although we can always ask Love…" the yellow emotion looked over at a quietly sitting purple emotion. For the most part they all went quiet as they waited for Love to speak, but for a good moment she was silent, looking off into space.

"Love? What is it I feel? Is it…?" Raven snapped Love out of her daydream, and Purple looked at her calmly before nodding once uncertainly.

"Not yet. Maybe? All I know is…" Love looked down at her feet and blushed, smiling widely, "I wanted to kiss him." For a minute the others where quiet, Raven processing everything.

"But does he like me?" Grey whispered, flushing as well as she looked down, embarrassed. Raven looked around, seeing the other emotions blush as well, some more than others. With that Raven sighed, nodding as if it was final now that they all agreed that Raven, well… liked him for some unknown reason. She dismissed them all to their own domains, but held Knowledge back to speak with her in relative privacy.

"Knowledge, what should I do about training?" Yellow thought for a moment, sitting down for a long discussion.

Damn I should have kissed her!

This was one of many thoughts that went through the man's mind –and out of his mouth- as he also beat the virtual sense out of a robot, permanently disabling the fighter bot in a smoking mess. A tinkling giggle emitted behind him, and he turned to glare at the girl who sat on a crate, legs crossed as they hung over the side. She smiled at him, amused by his frustration, before she addressed his venting.

"Well why didn't you? Why didn't you just go for it and have a passionate snog on the pier as the sun rose? Sounds rather romantic if you ask me…" she smirked, playing with her blond hair in a flirtatious manner. He was not amused.

"Well no one asked you!" he yelled, perhaps sharper than he intended as her smirk faded, hurt by his intensity. All he could do is sigh and hold his head.

"I wanted to- don't get me wrong. I really wanted to. But… How can she- why would she…" her softened look encouraged him to put words together in a more coherent way. "She's a Teen Titan, an angel or a saint or something. She's the hero. How could she ever accept me? I'm…" He gestured, unable to find the word. The blond girl slipped down from her perch, straightened her shirt and jeans, and looked at him.

"Tainted? A sinner? Dirty? Evil? The villain? A Montague and she a Capulet?" she offered, trying to fill in the blank he left. The last allusion left a cruel smirk on his face.

"I certainly hope it doesn't end in a Shakespearian tragedy. But yes, Raven is the hero and I'm the villain. She would never be alright with that," his sneer disappeared as his worry was voiced. She was sympathetic.

"Well it couldn't hurt to try, right? Either you'll drive yourself insane this way or you find out if she is alright with it or not. Or you could completely give up being a villain," his eyes slowly hardened as she spoke, not sure which option was best as he considered other details.

"What if she becomes an apprentice?" he asked, seriously at a cross roads at how to handle it. He could quit before she joined, pursue even as her master, or stay professional and not let her know. The Shepardess didn't have an answer for him as she shrugged.

"Honestly how it goes is up to you. I can't tell you which way is the best, because it also depends on how she reacts. You'll have to play it by ear," he nodded slowly, breathing in through his nose as he cleared his mind. He could kill and take over a city without a second thought, but in the arena of emotions he was out of his element. Frankly it scared him, he did not like the loss of control it caused in him.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hello, Raven," she turned, becoming aware of her surroundings as she looked for the source of the female voice. She saw The Shepardess sitting on a bench, looking up at her through a pair of sunglasses. A pair of joggers went past, going down the path in the park. Ducks quacked in the distance near a lake and other birds flew overhead through the trees. Raven wasn't sure why she was in a park, but the Shepardess stood and beckoned for Raven to follow.

"This is a dream…" Raven said slowly for clarification.

"Yes. I figured you might have some questions for me," the purple haired girl looked over at the blond, suspicious at someone willing to answer questions.

"Are you really in my mind?" Raven asked skeptically.

"Good first question! Yes, I am. No, I won't answer all your questions. Yes, I am here to do more than answer some questions. I'll get to that later. Any other questions?" the blond said sweetly, smiling as they walked along the dirt path. It was spring time in the dream, cherry trees were in bloom, and petals sprinkled the ground in pink and white.

"Alright…" Raven said, trying to think of what questions she wanted to ask first. "Who do you think I should train with?"

"Well that depends on what you mean by training. I think I should train you with your emotions and powers. As for hand to hand, well, that depends on who you want to train with," she shrugged as she explained, being clear at first and going back to being vague.

"Is that why you made me go into that pimp's mind? For training?" Raven voiced her thoughts, watching the expressions on the other girl's face.

"Yup. Not very pleasant, but it's the only way to do it," The Shepardess admitted, blue eyes going to the path in front of them.

"So what exactly are you-" the free answer time was up as Raven was cut off.

"The reason I came into your dream tonight is because you were going to lose control again, and I came to warn you-" this time it was the Shepardess who got cut off.

"I was going to lose control? Why? How do I get control back?" Raven's interjection was ignored.

"-warn you that it might be unwise to stay here. It could become very difficult for you to keep a check on your emotions here," realizing the Shepardess wasn't paying any mind to what she had said, Raven took in the information and tried again.

"Why? What would upset my emotions here?"

"If you want to gain control you need to learn how to handle your emotions and how to harness them, not try to suppress them into nothing and destroy your emotions," the Shepardess went back to Raven's prior questions, answering them in the order they were presented as Raven continued to voice more.

"Is that why you are training me?"

"Look into the minds of those who are close to you, you'll figure out why staying might be problematic," a thought suddenly occurred to Raven, and that idea manifested in the dream as an image in the lake they were walking past. Raven stopped and looked into the water, the Shepardess looking as well at the picture of Rave.

"Are you talking about my teammates or Rave?" Raven asked quietly, worried of the Shepardess' reaction to Raven's feelings. But the Shepardess was the one who continually brought them together, why would she encourage it and then condone it?

"Raven," at the sound of her name she looked at the other girl who stared at her with a serious gaze. "You have kept yourself distant from everyone your entire life. It took months before you trusted and opened up to your friends. And even then you keep up so many walls because of your powers and emotions." Raven couldn't help but glance away, knowing full well what she was being told was true.

"And now there is someone who wants to be close to you, but how will you respond emotionally? And how will you react to what others will do in response to that?" Raven remained silent, looking up at the Shepardess again but without answers.

"I'm not going to lie to you, a lot depends on how you will respond to another's emotions, but there is a lot more going on that you won't understand until the end. And that end will come regardless of who you chose," this had Raven worried, and she felt the dream around her crumble as the background faded and the sounds ceased.

"Shepardess! Wait!" Raven called out in terror, alone in a dark landscape, the security vanishing. She reached out after the blond who had turned to ash and shadow, blowing away before her eyes.

"Don't leave me alone!" Raven cried, overcome with distress. She woke up thrashing in her bed, twisted in the sheets and coated in sweat. For a moment the only sound was her rapidly beating heart and harsh panting, but the initial horror subsided when she realized she was not about to lose control. To her delight, the dream was not slipping from her memory, she could recall the whole conversation as she stood and went to get a drink of water.

For several minutes she sat in the main room, her cup empty as she held her head in one hand and slowly traced the cup with the other. Her eyes were aimed in the direction of the floor to ceiling windows. It was dark outside, it looked like there was some cloud cover that obscured parts of the starry sky, possibly bringing rain. She had calmed down, and was now mulling over the exchange with the Shepardess, trying to figure out what she had meant, whom she had been talking about. She never said Rave specifically, but it was obviously about him. Who else? And what was this end The Shepardess had mentioned? Although there seemed to be little point in worrying over it since it was apparently inevitable. She could only hope it was a good end. If not, she had a feeling she needed the training The Shepardess was so adamant about to get through it.

But what was she to do about Rave? As she understood it, she should try to avoid him and control her feelings for him, possibly destroy them before they got out of hand and she got swept up in them. At that thought she slipped within her mind to get in better touch with her emotions to try and figure out what to do and how to do it. But before she could completely fall into a meditative state she felt the entity she so despised deep inside. Her stomach clenched as she grit her teeth and desperately tried to stop the inner monster from rising up and causing her to have a violent loss of control, trying to block it in her mind and force it down. She felt herself go rigid, hands gripping the table and chair but tried to ignore the outside physical world as she focused on halting the thing. Distantly she heard someone enter the room and call her name. A wave of concern distracted her, she didn't want to hurt anyone on accident, she had to get away, she needed to be alone. Raven felt a hand on her shoulder and did not react to it, with great effort she looked to see who it was who had come down as this hour.

"Robin. You need to go," she said quietly, but short and curt. Now was not the time for him to argue with her. The ice in her tone caused him to retract his hand and look at her with concern and hurt.

"Nightmares? Are you losing control?" Robin asked, although he had taken a step back he was not about to completely abandon her. Raven knew she wasn't going to be able to hold back whatever was trying to break free, so she stood and quickly walked over to the window.

"I don't want to hurt anyone," she said as she changed into her raven form, flying away as Robin called after her. She didn't know where to go or how soon she had to get there, but she found herself in a cleared lot near the edge of the city. She didn't bother to look around at the storage lots or distant warehouse, too focused on staring at the ground as she trembled on her hands and knees. Gulping and preparing herself for whatever she was about to let loose, she distantly heard footsteps. She managed to look up and catch a flash of black and orange under a faint light in the distance.

"Damn it," she muttered, not wanting to be discovered by Slade in this vulnerable position, but she found it difficult to keep herself propped up let alone trying to move. He did not notice her however and he vanished from sight, and Raven didn't care to find out what he was stealing from here as she convulsed, restraining her powers taking a physical toll on her until she shuddered and let go. Immediately she felt the energy around her release by black bolts tearing through the air and ground, nothing stopping the energy as it exploded around her. She grimaced at the sound of it, not wanting to be around when someone came to investigate the thunderous noise. But Raven began feeling better as she felt the pent up energy and emotion rush out of her and into her surroundings. She wasn't sure if she was there for hours or only a few moments, but when she was able to lift her head and look at the damage she flinched at the sight. She was glad the lot was empty, her immediate surroundings looked as though it was part of a World War I trench war zone. Deep grooves in the earth were mingled with piles of dirt and shards of rock, and her destruction have managed to slash its way to the occupied lots as she saw twisted fencing and tears in structures around her.

With a heave she rolled back onto her legs, hands on her knees as she looked around at the destruction and was glad no one had noticed her presence, or they had been sensible enough to flee. Now that she had unleashed all of the energy and emotion she felt utterly drained, and cold in the night air. She glanced at the sky, seeing that the stars were covered now by clouds and she could feel the cool wind on her. It felt like a storm was moving in, and she did not want to be caught out here when it hit. First thing was first, she needed to make sure she could still walk…

Slowly, and painfully, Raven extended one leg in front of herself and leaned onto it to push herself up. She was almost standing when her knees buckled and she fell onto her side with a groan, displeased with her current predicament.

"Great… I'm clumsier than a newborn giraffe…" she growled as she tried two more times before she managed to stand, proud of herself for managing to stand up straight. At least until she realized how pathetic it was that she was satisfied by standing. With that thought dampening her spirit and hardening her resolve she tried to take a step when she heard another footstep behind her. She froze, remembering Slade was there, and terrified at what he could do to her like this. He could easily kill her, or kidnap her and force her to become his apprentice, or who knows what else he could come up with, but her fear was unfounded. The voice she heard behind her caused her blood to freeze and her heart to stop.

"The darkness will not hide you from my light," she turned and looked at the thin man who glared at her with a sadistic sneer.

"All alone and powerless, can this night get any better?" Doctor Light laughed, emboldened by Raven's weakness as he walked toward her, weapons ready. She fought back fear as she stiffly turned to face him, trying to recall some of her powers. But the extent of her release had exhausted her, physically and mentally. She desperately wanted to sleep, it was only through pure willpower that she was standing, but she had no idea how she was going to battle Doctor Light. She considered trying to make a run for it and call the others, until she remembered she was still dressed for sleep, she didn't have her communicator. She was on her own, and that terrified her.

"What do you want?" she asked him, desperate to buy herself time to think of a way out of this. Her question seemed to be something he wanted to hear as his sneer widened and he took out his light whip. His eyes got wide as he stared at her and answered.

"I want you to scream louder than I did. I want you to beg for mercy harder than I did. I want YOU to be the one who is haunted! Not ME!" Raven's breathing hitched and she took a step back. This man didn't want her dead, he wanted to torture her.

"I'm sorry- I never meant to hurt you-!" she tried to apologize, but he got angry and laughed, hollow and harsh.

"Now you're sorry, now that you are all alone! Now that you see the LIGHT!" he shouted and on the last word he threw all his might into a strike with his whip. She tried to dodge, but was slow and clumsy and the energy whip caught her arm and side, causing her to scream at the pain. She couldn't stop herself from collapsing, but now in panic she scrambled to get back up before he could land another blow on her. He did not seem interested in exchanging any more words or witty phrases, instead he snarled and cracked his whip at her once more. Doctor Light smirked in satisfaction upon hearing her scream again, taking several steps towards her. Raven continued to struggle to her feet, glaring at the man and strategizing a crazy plan. Turning all her energy to moving and kicking up her adrenaline levels she staggered to her feet before she made a rush at Doctor Light. Fear flashed across his face and he threw a ball of light energy at her that she ducked to the side to avoid, rolling and running at him again. She knew she had to end this quick; she wouldn't be able to keep this up for long.

In rage Doctor Light ran to meet her head on, cracking his whip at her again. Despite the fresh bite of pain, Raven grabbed for the whip, catching it and wrapping her hands around it. The energy hurt to grab like that, but Raven ignored the pain as she halted and pulled as hard as she could. Doctor Light's shock caused him to be unprepared and he was jerked forward and crashed to his knees before he dissipated the whip. She took her chance and sprinted the last several yards and jump kicked him before he could fully stand back up. With her hands balled into fists she swung at Doctor Light and connected on the first two hits before he had recovered and began to fight back. While he was no master at hand to hand, he was much better than Raven and was able to push his advantage. Within a matter of minutes he had knocked Raven off of her feet and was arming himself with a ball of light while she was down. Raven realized she was losing this fight, and it made her all the more desperate to be able to use her powers to defend herself. She was too slow in getting back up and getting away from him, and the light of ball connected and sent her flying backwards. She fell in a heap yards away, stunned and blinking to try and reorient herself.

"Oh no…" she whispered to herself as she continued to blink but saw nothing but darkness. The pain in her head was intense and her eyes felt like they were burning, but she could not see. She scrambled to get to her feet but with the ground torn apart she had a difficult time finding good footing. Behind her she heard Doctor Light laugh hysterically at her distress.

"What's the matter? Afraid of the dark?" he taunted, and she heard the sound of one of his weapons powering up again. Without her eyes she didn't know how she would be able to fight back, much less escape, and in her panic she recalled the conversation with the Shepardess. 'Look into the minds around you…'

As a last ditch attempt to figure out what to do and how to get out of this alive Raven threw her mind at Doctor Light, entering his mind and seeing what he was going to do next. Entering his mind terrified her, even though it gave her an idea of his location she was horrified at what she felt inside of him. His hate and fear of her was a twisted and jumbled mess that had spawned a deadly and sadistic feeling for her, and she could see what he wanted to do to her if he had the chance. She felt his approach and tried to scramble away but he lunged for her and grabbed her by the throat, lifting her off the ground and choking her.

"You're mine now…" he whispered to her, she felt his hot breath on her skin when he drew her closer and saw in his mind exactly what he meant by that. In vain she twisted and kicked, trying to get him to let her go as she tried to retreat to her own mind and escape from his fiendish thoughts. She needed help, but there was no one to call, no one knew she was here. Not unless Robin or Rave suddenly appeared, the only other person around was Slade and he was- wait. Slade. He had saved her before; if he still thought she would become his apprentice he might help her again if he knew she was here.

"Please… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… please don't do this!" she begged, knowing it was what he wanted her to do and hating herself for giving him that, but she needed time. He laughed and taunted her, tightening his grip on her throat for emphasis but she was hardly listening to him, instead extending her mind to find Slade. Vaguely she felt Doctor Light hurt her body, it felt like she had been thrown to the ground and kicked, but her mind was literally elsewhere. She remembered the general direction Slade had gone and started that way, feeling the trails of his consciousness and discovering he was heading in her direction already. He must have been attracted by the noise, based on his curious mood. Ignoring privacy she tried to enter his mind to communicate with him but found herself instantly blocked, but his curiosity increased as he recognized her mind.

"Raven?" he asked mentally and aloud, concern growing as he felt her fear and agony. She was unable to explain the situation to him, the strain of finding and connecting to his mind combined with her physical stress brought her close to losing consciousness. Instead she was only able to impart one simple message with one clear word:

"Help."

Raven's blind eyes snapped open and she arched her back in pain and screamed, fully aware of the pain she had been numb to moments before. Instinctively she curled into a ball, trying not to cry out in pain as she realized even that motion alone hurt, he must have cracked her ribs. She heard his deep and manic laugh and felt him kick her hard.

"Who will help you? Who cares for you?" he said in a frenzied laugh, and she was lifted up and thrown again, the high he was getting from this adding to his strength. She felt something hard and metal connect with her torso and heard her ribcage break and felt the bones snap into her organs. Apparently Doctor Light had picked up a crowbar. A coughing fit seized her and she tasted blood as she coughed, one of her lungs punctured and filling with blood.

"I do." Raven so relieved to hear that voice, any other time she would have been afraid. Doctor Light was silent as he stopped to look at who had spoken to him.

"Touch my apprentice again and you will beg for death." Had she not been busy coughing up blood she would have argued she was not his apprentice, but she sensed the effect immediately in Doctor Light. His mania subsided from his fear and respect for Slade, and Raven heard the crowbar hit the ground and footsteps moving away from her.

"I didn- Slade-" Doctor Light stammered and Raven felt Slade draw closer.

"Get." If words could kill, Slade was a master sniper. Doctor Light turned tail and ran, and Raven went still as she waited for what Slade would do next. After Doctor Light had disappeared Raven heard Slade step to her side and squat down. He had noticed Raven wasn't using her eyes and hoped it wouldn't be permanent. She stiffened when he touched her, but let him direct her face so he could look at her better. He looked at her purple eyes, knowing they couldn't see, but was unable to tell if the damage was too great for her to heal. Her psychic abilities meant she did not need to rely on her eyes, but it was her preferred method of viewing the world around her, the most natural.

"Raven, what are you doing out here?" he asked her as he gently instructed her to relax and uncurl from her defensive ball. She submitted to it, not having any other real choice in the matter.

"I was losing control, had to get away from the others. I didn't want to hurt anyone," she explained, wincing as her body ached and tried to relax. It was strange, being forced to trust him and not stop his touch. But he did nothing invasive, instead studying her injuries, tenderly touching at her ribs and straightening her legs and arms while checking for fractures and breaks. For a moment she imagined his treatment to be like that a horse gets as its rider feels the legs and hooves for any indication of injury.

"Well, you managed to hurt Doctor Light. You are not completely incompetent at hand to hand," Slade said as he gauged her injuries and debated what to do about it, whether he should take her and treat her himself or give her back to the Teen Titans. He had noticed the injuries on Doctor Light, she had managed to get his nose and it looked like he would have a nasty black eye, and as Raven was allowing him to inspect her he took her hands and looked at her damaged knuckles.

"Thanks," she muttered sarcastically, feeling the adrenaline fade and her exhaustion creep in.

"Your fists are wrong, by the way. It looks like you were punching with your thumb inside your hand. Why weren't you using your powers?" he asked as he began first aid treatment of the injuries he could treat and propped her up when she coughed again so she didn't choke on her blood. She scowled at him after her coughs had ended.

"Lost control of them. Can't use them right now. What are you doing here? Or Doctor Light for that matter?" there wasn't much here of value to steal that she knew of, unless there was something in one of the storage lots.

"I imagine Doctor Light was after the same thing I was after. And I'm not going to be telling you what that something is," which reminded him the authorities had probably been alerted, and it was likely the Teen Titans would be one of those coming to investigate.

"I'm sure I'll find out sooner or later on the news," Raven pointed out, sitting up at this point so Slade could treat her back injuries. She wiped a trail of blood she felt on her mouth and cocked her head to listen to his response.

"Then you'll just have to be patient. Now, you need medical attention, would you rather go with me or return to your friends?" her eyebrow's furrowed as she realized he was giving her the option to go with him, it was still her choice. He was quiet as he waited for her answer, patching her up with the supplies he had on hand.

"I-" she was unsure, she needed training, she needed to get away from her friends according to the Shepardess, but could she really work for Slade? He was a villain, he would force her to attack her friends, he would drop this act of caring and saving her life and trying to gain her trust once he had her. If this was an act, she sensed concern from him that seemed genuine enough. It was too much for her to process at the moment.

"I, uh, think I should stay with my friends… for now," she was unsure why she added that at the end, or why she had faltered in responding. He would notice, he would read into it, he would expect her to turn on her friends and join him.

"I am not your apprentice," she said flatly, recalling what he had said to Doctor Light.

"It was the fastest way to get Doctor Light to leave, and he won't bother you again as long as he believes you work for me," he left it unsaid what he currently felt for Doctor Light, but Raven could tell Slade was serious when he threatened Doctor Light. The witty response she tried to come up with faded as she felt her mind slipping. Her weariness physically showed as she weakly coughed and began to tremble slightly. Raven was slightly surprised when she felt Slade pick her up; she groaned, her body throbbing from pain.

"In the meantime, you are in no position to walk, and the authorities should be here soon, either they'll have an ambulance or I'll get you to a hospital myself," Raven hadn't thought of that, but she had caused quite the commotion and Slade had just stolen something, they were calling attention to the area so it was only a matter of time before someone showed up to investigate. Out of spontaneous interest she extended her mind and searched for others, and sure enough a few cops had assembled and were talking to someone who had probably reported the noise, Doctor Light was also with them, and was probably being blamed for the disturbance. Feeling his mind again was enough to get Raven to start shaking as she started to realize what could have happened.

"Oh God…" Raven whispered, shaking and subconsciously hugging tighter to Slade, gripping him with all the harrowing strength her tired arms had left. She could not see Slade look down at her in bewilderment, but he readjusted so he was holding her closer, cradling her as he walked. His question was answered, however, as Raven spoke again.

"Thank you for saving me, Slade. I- he wanted to- was going to-" she started trying to explain herself but was becoming hysterical and only was quieted when she heard him shush her and soothingly tell her to calm down. Outwardly he was composed and collected, trying to calm her down, but he felt rage building up inside as he wondered what had happened between Doctor Light and Raven. Or what Raven had seen in Doctor Light's mind to become so disturbed at the memory of it. She coughed again, her rapid breathing causing her to irritate her damaged lungs.

"Sleep, Raven," Slade whispered to her when her coughing subsided, and she did not protest his suggestion at all as she let her head rest against him. Her breathing was somewhat labored, but the breathes became even and regular as she allowed herself to sleep. He walked silently, planning as he went on how to get her to help quickly without handing himself over to the police. He did not want to leave her somewhere to be found, he had spent too many sleepless nights after the last time he did that because of it. His strategizing was interrupted when he felt someone near him, and as he disappeared into the shadows he realized it was the Teen Titans. No doubt they would have come, especially upon realizing Raven was missing and if Doctor Light had told them that Raven was supposedly his apprentice… Slade mentally swore and tried to figure out how he would get out of this one. He heard them in the distance, closing in on his position, and overhead he saw Starfire and Beast Boy getting an aerial view from the cloudy sky. The wind in the sky had picked up, he saw them struggling against the wind at times as the storm rolled in. The girl in his arms shifted, her unconscious mind sensing her friends nearby. Slade made up his mind on his action plan, but was foiled when the clouds opened in a flash of lighting.

"Slade!" Starfire shouted, alerting the others and going into a dive to reach him before he could escape. Cursing under his breath he dodged the alien redhead's attack, careful of Raven in his arms. He was not able to get far before he was facing a dead end and trapped by the other Teen Titans. Had he not been loaded down and had free use of his hands, he would have been able to get out of this, but as it was, he saw only one realistic option.

"Surrender, Slade! You've no where to go," Robin shouted even though he was ready for a battle. Slade glanced down at Raven, and spoke as he turned to face them.

"I think, Robin, my surrender is not what you should focus on," Slade said with a drawl, ignoring the surprised outbursts from the Teen Titans when they recognized Raven in his arms. Robin in particular was colorful with his language.

"Monster! What have you done?" Starfire shouted, ready to kill him where he stood.

"Saved her. For more information I suggest you ask Doctor Light, he was the one with the crowbar," clearly they didn't believe what he said, although the mention of a crowbar caused their anger to increase. They muttered death wishes or shouted accusations, not that Slade understood the tangled mess of words he heard, but their intense emotions seemed to be enough for Raven to stir. Her unseeing eyes twitched before opening slightly, and Slade eased his grip on her so she could lean forward.

"…Robin? Guys?" she asked, her voice quiet but she could sense them and knew they were there. They were so angry, she winced at the intensity. But they seemed relieved that Raven was conscious, but they dared only take a few steps closer. She tilted her head toward them slightly, adjusting to not being able to see and sat a bit more forward as she heard them all exclaim.

"Raven what happened? What are you doing with Slade?" Robin's voice was the only she could clearly understand as he had stepped closer. Raven yawned before having another coughing fit, wiping away the blood when she finished. She reached out to Robin, a bit embarrassed but trying to convey that she had left for the reason she had told him before. Robin understood, expressing it after a moment of silent conversation. Then she touched Slade's chest, indicating she wanted to be put down. He set her on her feet, holding onto her as she steadied herself.

"Doctor Light surprised me, he wanted revenge so he attacked," Raven began as she found her footing, taking one hand off Slade and reaching out for Robin, who stepped forward and took her hand.

"Once he blinded me, I didn't stand a chance. Slade was nearby, I don't want to think about what Doctor Light would have done if Slade hadn't come," she left out various details, but she had only gotten a few minutes of sleep and she wanted to return to sleeping as quickly as possible. Slade let go of her and she stepped to Robin, who supported and held onto her. Raven didn't like relying on others so much like this, but at the moment it could not be helped.

"Why did you help?" Robin demanded to know, suspicious of Slade now that Raven was no longer being held by the nemesis of the Teen Titans. At this point Raven knew Slade would try to escape as soon as he had an idea how, so she was not surprised when he spoke cryptically to annoy the Boy Wonder.

"I have my reasons," what Raven didn't expect was hearing Cyborg charge up his arm cannon, and her eyebrows furrowed as she tilted her head toward the sound and reached out to touch his mind to understand.

"She's not interested," Cyborg said for her, and Raven realized Cyborg was talking about being an apprentice. Had they heard what Doctor Light had been told? Had Cyborg told the others? Did Robin know? What was Slade going to do? Was he going to let it slip? Her worries and questions made her nervous.

"If you are referring to what I said to Doctor Light, that was merely to stop him from torturing her anymore," Raven felt Robin tense and look from Slade to Cyborg, confused. But Slade was able to divert further inquires.

"I suggest you get Raven to a medical facility before internal bleeding kills her," with that, Robin glanced at his team and nodded at them and led Raven away. Slade was amused that Robin was not staying to make sure his teammates captured him. But he prepared himself for a fight as the others rushed at him once Raven was away from danger.

"Raven, what really happened?" Robin asked as they slowly made their way to the authorities and the T-car. Raven had a feeling this was coming.

"I lost control, like I thought I would, and after it ended I was so tired. I wanted to go home but I could barely move… Then Doctor Light came, he must have been here to steal something. He didn't want to let the opportunity pass, me powerless and alone. It must have been like a dream come true for him. I don't know how I managed to fight him, adrenaline I guess…" Raven explained as Robin held her close and walked her back to the authorities, and she hoped Doctor Light would not still be there.

"But like I said, he blinded me and so I went into his mind to stop him and-" her voice hitched and she found it hard to breath. Her knees threatened to give out and Robin had to hold her up as she grabbed at him, shaking again.

"Oh… Robin, his mind- it was so twisted and I saw what he wanted to do to me… I didn't know what to do! I looked for the closest mind and begged for help, it just happened to be Slade. I didn't care who it was, I just wanted someone to help me before Doctor Light could…" she couldn't finish her sentence as she realized she was on the ground again, clutching Robin and trying to regain some composure. Looks like Doctor Light got what he wanted, he wanted her to be haunted by him, and the thought of him terrified her. Robin tried to keep her calm while struggling to put away the murderous desire to make Doctor Light pay. Raven's emotions gave way to a numbness as her only motive turned to getting to a bed as soon as possible, and she fell silent as she managed to walk and get into the T car. She stayed awake just long enough to feel the T car pick up speed on the road and hear the rain begin to fall, and then she was oblivious to the world.


	16. Chapter 16

Once more Raven was restricted to a hospital bed, in a healing trance for an unknown amount of time. She was spending more time in the Titan's hospital ward than her own room it seemed. Her teammates were sleeping at the moment, it was the night after her run in with Doctor Light, and her friends had finally decided to get some rest. But she was not alone in the room, a man sat on the windowsill, watching her from his perch and humming to himself. He had been there for a while, since all the Teen Titans had retired to their beds and surrendered to sleep. He had no such luxury, he had been unable to rest since she was injured, beset with worry. But there was nothing more he could do for her except watch over her, gently brushing her mind and keeping her trance free from negative emotions. His proximity seemed to rouse her, and her floating body gently touched the bed. He said nothing, watching her silently for several minutes, as she appeared to be sleeping.

Her eyes opened and she sat up, head facing straight ahead as she realized her vision had not yet been restored. But she did not need to use her eyes to know there was another in the room, and that it was not one of her teammates. He put his mental defenses back up when she reached for his mind, and she tilted her head toward him.

"Who is there?" she asked, voice quiet but easily heard in the stillness. From the moonlight coming in through the window he could see her eyebrows furrow as she recognized the mental defenses and she stiffened. He remained silent, not sure if he should depart or stay, he had not intended to be discovered. But she seemed confused and not quite believing who was in the room with her, so he spoke.

"Feeling better?" he asked, his deep voice causing her to turn her face toward him more. She nodded slowly, confusion obvious on her face.

"Slade… what are you doing here?" she said his name as if she still wasn't sure this was real. Perhaps she thought she was dreaming.

"I came to watch over you, make sure you were alright," he said in the same soft and deep voice he had begun with, almost afraid to be overheard by the others. Raven's expression grew thoughtful, and she directed her face forward again, causing her hair to obscure her face from his view.

"I will be, thanks to you. Guess it was a good thing I healed you after the cliff," she didn't need to explain what she meant, and he nodded even though she could not see.

"You don't need to thank me," he said, and they went quiet for a time. Neither was sure what to say, what sort of conversation do you have when your arch nemesis is visiting you in a hospital bed? After a few moments of silence Raven drew her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. Slade wondered at this insecure motion, wondering what she was thinking about.

"But I do," he could barely hear her, her words were little more than a breath. His eyebrows knit together as now he was the one to be confused, until he realized what she was talking about. He saw her shudder, but he was not sure if it was cold or fear.

"It was a life worth saving," he replied, quiet, but she shook her head.

"Doctor Light wasn't going to kill me," she voice was a bit louder now, but now there was a distinct trembling in it, the entire subject clearly bothered her. It was causing him to grow agitated at what she meant and what had happened.

"What… do you mean?" he asked hesitantly after a moment, afraid of the answer.

"I… I looked into his mind. I saw what he wanted to do," she had to stop and gulped, and Slade had a feeling she was about to have a break down. Not wanting her to burst into tears he stood, not sure if he should approach her or not. How could he comfort her, given who he was?

"He wanted to- was _going_ to- he-" her shaking had increased as she tried to finish what she had to say.

"You don't have to explain," he said quickly, seeing how it had upset her and taking another step forward. She bit her lip and rested her head on her knees, breathing hard as she tried to calm down. He stepped forward, almost at her bed when she went quiet, even her breathing went soft for a moment.

"He was going to rape me," she had wondered if saying those words out loud would help or hurt, and she found admitting it made it all the more absolute. Had it not been for Slade, it would have happened. There was utter silence for a moment, and then she heard him step forward and felt a pressure on the bed next to her. She raised her head slightly, leaning away from him as she tried to figure out what he was doing. Yet for some reason when she felt his arm around her, she did not fight. She remained stiff for a moment before she relaxed bit by bit into his embrace. It was just one arm around her shoulders drawing her in, but as she shifted and rested against his body his other arm closed the loop. His armor gave him a hard shell but she still found solace in his hold. It was so gentle and supportive, and he held her as she slowly laid her head against his chest. The cool plate armor felt good against her forehead, she could faintly hear his heart beating and feel his lungs expanding and collapsing with each breath.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, and she didn't care. While it was strange to find such comfort from a villain, she wasn't going to be picky. If she for some unknown reason felt better in his hold then she would stay there until she calmed down and wasn't about to cry.

"You are surprisingly good at this," she murmured, referring to his ability to comfort her. She felt and heard him chuckle.

"I've done this before," he said to explain, although it only made her curious. She urged him on with a questioning hum, and she felt one hand begin to make slow, massaging circles on her back.

"I was married, once." Slade was married. Slade was married? That didn't make any sense! How could someone like Slade get married… Again she prodded him for answers, withdrawing a bit so she could tilt her head in bewilderment.

"Was? You were married? What happened to her?" she asked him directly.

"She shot my eye out, I took that as she wanted a divorce," he almost made a joke out of it, how strange.

"So, did you two have kids or anything? How long ago was this?" Raven would have never guessed Slade had been married, or that his wife had been the one to cause his eye injury. But since he was wiling to talk Raven wanted to know more.

"A very long time ago, our children are all nearly grown up and probably on their own by now," he knew he should not be telling her this, but this seemed like the perfect opportunity to let her know more about him.

"Do you still keep in touch with them?" she asked quietly, and he guessed she was thinking of her own complicated relationship with her father.

"Their mother tried to kill me… I keep tabs on them and support them indirectly, but I am sure they presume me dead. Their mother wouldn't want me showing up again anyway," Raven was quiet as she processed the information, and Slade felt the need to continue.

"They are fine without me, they will be successful. But they are part of my past, I am in a new stage of life now," Raven didn't know how to feel about that, although she could understand why his wife and kids might not want to keep in touch with their crime lord father.

"How old are you?" she asked him, curious now. He had to be in his forties at least, probably fifties. But she heard him chuckle again before he answered.

"That is a difficult question," he replied.

"How so? It's just a number," she pointed out, wondering how it could be difficult.

"Did you know I was supposed to regain my body as payment for working with Trigon?" she had not known that and shook her head. She didn't know the details of what happened between when she became the portal and when Robin found her again, she had never been told much.

"Well, he didn't honor our agreement, but I regained a mortal body regardless. It just happens to be much younger than I expected," he shrugged, releasing his hold on her so she was just under one arm.

"So how old are you biologically?" she asked.

"Around 20 give or take a couple years," Raven realized something wrong with him having a younger body, so she pointed it out to him.

"But your eye… I mean, you still have scars but you have a new body. That doesn't make sense," he wasn't sure how to explain it either, so he did it the best way her could.

"I can only guess it's a reminder of my past mistakes, even if I have a new body I don't completely have a new life. I still have to pay for my mistakes," she nodded slowly, considering this was all magic they were dealing with so logic was optional.

"I'd say you were doing a good job, by saving my life I mean. Even though you are still committing crimes and whatnot…"

"I can't completely change overnight, but it's the thought that counts, right?" he asked her rhetorically, smiling even though it was hidden. She couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"Well you still want me to be your apprentice, so clearly you aren't planning on giving up on crime just yet," she pointed out.

"It would be the easiest way to train you. You have to know how your enemy thinks in order to beat them," what he said was so familiar, it caused her to pause for a moment and think. It made sense, what he said, being his apprentice would allow her to spend more time with him to train.

"I can't go with you, Slade..." she said softly, thinking, feeling his name on her lips. It was strange to say his name without malice or fear.

"I know-" he began but she continued.

"But I want you to train me," that was something he had not expected to hear, and he was silent in momentary shock. She took that as a cue to continue.

"It's clear that I need help with hand to hand… And there is someone else who wants to train me for my powers specifically. I can't just leave my friends, but I can't get the training I need here…" Raven was being rather open with him, possibly as result of how open Slade was with her. She had to explain her situation for him to understand and figure out what to do about it. But even as she spoke she changed her mind, she shouldn't trust him…

"… I think," she added, her voice indicating her confusion and inner conflict over the subject. But instead of responding instantly, he gently rubbed her shoulder. The motion made Raven lean against him again, and she wondered what he would say.

"When you want to train with me, let me know. There is a solution to every problem, we will figure it out," Raven nodded, not sure how she was supposed to let him know but figured she would find a way. If she decided to train with him or not, once and for all.

"I won't commit crime for you," she said suddenly, a bit defiantly. He grinned at her statement.

"That isn't an option, however I will not make you hurt or kill anyone, steal something that has no value, or do anything that will automatically bring you into conflict with the Teen Titans. If you happen to encounter them because you trip an alarm or are unable to flee a crime scene swiftly enough then you will have to decide for yourself if you want to turn yourself in or fight your way out to escape. I would suggest you fight and escape so they don't know its you, but that is just my personal opinion," Raven thought that seemed… fair. Perhaps Slade treated actual crimes as test or exams, if you were able to get in and get out without a problem then you passed with flying colors. He wouldn't be foolish enough to send her on a mission if he didn't think she was fully prepared and trained for it.

"Sounds reasonable..." she said after a moment, although she was uncomfortable with the idea of committing crime until he pointed something out to her.

"Besides, aren't you breaking the law every time we speak and you don't try to turn me in?" she hadn't thought of that, but realized it was true. As a Teen Titan she was supposed to try to apprehend him whenever possible, yet now it seemed she was more likely to have a talk with him instead of a sparing match.

"I guess I am…" she muttered, ashamed and somehow she didn't want to turn him in. Sure Slade had done a lot of bad things and committed a lot of crimes, but he had also done a lot to keep her safe including saving her life. He said nothing after her statement, continuing to gently rub her shoulders. It felt good, and she found herself drifting off to sleep against him. He didn't seem to mind, saying nothing and not stopping her at all. Without realizing it he began to hum out of contentment, and she couldn't help but smile before she fell asleep.

He stayed there for a long time, remaining still so she could sleep in peace, but he knew he had to leave. Delicately he laid her down so she could sleep properly. He allowed himself a few minutes to watch her sleep, she was so peaceful and serene, unguarded and with no worries. A strand of hair had come across her face, and he moved the purple hair to the side where it belonged. His fingers lingered on her face, tracing her jaw line before he withdrew. The sun would soon be rising; he had to leave before the others found him. But she was safe, she would soon be healed, and she wanted him to train her. It had been a good night, and he did not stop the smile on his face as he departed.


	17. Chapter 17

"You're adorable!"

"And you need to stop appearing in my base," Slade groaned as he closed the door behind him, somehow not surprised that The Shepardess was sitting on a table waiting for him.

"Well it's not like there is a 'No Trespassers' sign out front!" She grinned.

"Actually there is, along with several defense systems to keep out intruders."

"I'm starting to get the impression you don't want people around," she pouted in mock hurt, smirking at the man as he sat down at the table.

"That is exactly the impression I'm trying to give off."

"Oh posh, if you really didn't want people getting in you wouldn't be visiting them while they are helpless in a medical cot after saving them," her jab earned her a groan from him, and he rubbed his mask as though he could rub his forehead through it.

"You seem to have changed the subject."

"And you are avoiding it!"

"Why are you here?" He tried to cut her teasing, and he was too exhausted to deal with this.

"Why are you?"

"Because I live here."

"But why are you here?" She said again, slower as if that would make her point clear.

"Are you getting philosophical about why I exist?" He groaned again. He really did not want to get into that subject.

"No, although that would be a fun topic. I mean why are you here and not out doing some dastardly crime? Or would you prefer some heroics?" She teased, miming the different actions and was totally unfazed by his glare.

"Maybe I just want some time off."

"A hero is always ready for action," she declared, one hand on her hip and the other pointed straight into the air, as heroically as she could manage.

"I'm not a hero."

"So why do you masquerade as one?" Her teasing tone was gone, and he braced himself for what he was sure was a much more serious conversation.

"I don't masquerade…"

"You run around in a mask and elaborate costume, the only thing you are missing is dance moves," her tone was mocking and sarcastic, and he gave in.

"What do you want?"

"I want Raven. She is falling apart and dangerous, and you aren't helping." At least Slade finally found out what it was she wanted this time. Sometimes The Shepardess wouldn't even give him that and would leave him guessing when the conversation was over.

"I saved her life!"

"Slade saved her life. Rave endangered it. I think that makes you neutral," she rationalized, but either way it wasn't a positive outcome for him.

"How did Rave endanger her?" He hoped she couldn't tell that he was pouting. As Rave he had always protected her in fights, at least to the best of his abilities.

"You really think your romantic entanglement with her isn't causing her to lose control faster? Her powers are emotion based, and you didn't just toss in a wrench, you chucked in a whole tool box into her issues." Slade slammed his hands down on the table and stood, glaring at her full on at those accusations.

"And what about you? You're pushing her. You just suddenly appear and want her. Who are you, really? How do I know this isn't your doing?" He turned the accusations on her, but she merely sneered at his questions and finger pointing.

"If I recall you wanted her to expand her mental powers. You, soaked in her father's demonic magic, you really thought that you might not trigger something? The first time you came back thanks to demons she became a portal. Who knows what was going to happen the second time."

"So this is my fault?" He said this slower, calmer, as he thought about it. Trigon raising him from the dead had triggered Raven's transition to her fate as the portal. Had his second resurrection done something?

"I don't know, I'm not an expert on demon magic. What am I fairly good at is empathy. Empaths have a way of finding other empaths. Birds of a feather, as the saying goes. I could sense her when I traveled close to the city, and I could sense she needed help and was in distress. Would you rather I not try to help someone in need? Or would you rather I help someone who isn't Raven?" He glowered at her before responding, not sure how to accuse her or blame her in a way that made sense anymore.

"It just seems awfully convenient that you show up the same time her powers start getting out of hand," was the best accusation he could come up with.

"Just as convenient as them unraveling when you made her an offer and made her question her position in her team?" She asked in a softer tone with a raised eyebrow before she sighed and continued when he said nothing.

"What? Looking for some big bad reason Raven's life has been so terrible, and desperate for that reason to not be you? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe it's Trigon, maybe it's aliens, maybe it's an evil mind control dragon. Point is she is in trouble and needs all the help she can get. Do you want to help or not?"

For several minutes he said nothing, thinking, before he finally answered: "Yes."

"Alright, thank you. That makes things easier. Now you need to make things easier on her. Which means not adding unnecessary emotions to the mix. When she's got a handle on day to day emotions we can carefully add in something else if she wants it. We don't want to hand her an active bomb before she knows how to not set it off." Slade glared at her, not liking how The Shepardess was talking about Raven. Something about her tone felt insulting.

"What, attraction is a bomb now?"

"You saw what she did to that store yard. I think a bomb is a perfect term. Besides, making her believe a lie is only going to make things worse." Slade bit his tongue of a moment, realizing that bomb was an ideal term, along with explosive. But the moment ended when he felt a rush of embarrassment and guilt.

"It's not a lie!"

"Slade, the arch nemesis of the Teen Titans, who has worked for her father, abducted her, and personally assaulted her, puts on a different mask and tries to kiss her. A name change doesn't change what you've done, and it certainly doesn't make things right. You really think you can hide that from an empath and telepath forever? She may be distracted now, but when she gets control over her powers again, she won't be so easily fooled." Every word hurt him more until he was looking at the table instead of her. She was right. Of course she was right. The Shepardess had yet to be wrong. And he hated her for it. But he could only hate her so much because he knew he had done this to himself, and he hated himself even more strongly for what he did.

By the time he had wrangled his self-hate back down The Shepardess had already left, just as quietly and strangely as she had arrived.


	18. Chapter 18

When she could make out shadows and light, Raven left the medical bed for her own room. Colors followed soon after, and she was able to see properly in a short amount of time. Although things were still fuzzy, which made reading difficult.

Her team was happy to see Raven's swift recovery, and were counting on her to be at 100% in just a few days. Which, given her progress, seemed likely. Raven was also happy about the idea of life returning to normal.

Well, almost normal.

Mediation was still difficult, and with her eyes still healing it was also hard to do research and try to figure out why this was happening and what could be done. She knew what the problem was: her emotions were becoming uncontrollable. What she didn't understand was why now? Even her first years in puberty weren't this bad with all the hormonal fluctuations. Her attempts at controlling her emotions seemed to have the opposite effect, even the methods that had always worked in the past were failing her. It was like every time she got a hold of her emotions something would wrench her emotions out of her grip, or perhaps it was her own emotions becoming their own entity.

But that made no sense at all, when she mediated and visited her emotions they didn't seem to be splitting off into a different personality separate from herself. They might have their own personifications, and Rage could be particularly vocal and domineering, but they were still Raven. At least, they still seemed to be parts of her.

Whatever was happening she didn't know how to stop it from past experiences, and her collection of ancient tomes didn't exactly contain a lot of self-help guides to controlling her emotions. Perhaps a drug store's self-help guides to making yourself a better person would be better for this than her personal library.

She could imagine the headlines now "Teen Titan Seen Reading Anger Management Book – Can We Trust Teenagers With Anger Issues To Protect Us?"

And the idea of going to a therapist? Not only would the headlines be ridiculous, it also wouldn't do much good. She didn't think any human psychologist would be equipped to handle her mental issues. The only people she could go to was other empaths and telepaths, or people with experience in those matters. Azarath was no longer an option, which left The Shepardess as the only option still alive. She could try to search the Earth for others who might be able to help, but The Shepardess was here, available, and already trying to help. In addition to that, The Shepardess made Raven feel safe and comfortable.

She had already come by during Raven's recovery, Raven didn't bother asking how The Shepardess managed to get inside, she didn't expect The Shepardess to tell her anyway. She had said things that Raven already knew, whether Raven wanted to face them or not.

Raven was becoming a danger, both to herself and to her friends. The Shepardess had likened Raven's powers to a bomb, and Raven had winced at the memory of the destroyed ground and metal at the storage yard. And when Raven wasn't a threat, she was endangering herself and others by not being able to support them with her powers. The words stung but forced Raven to accept that as she was now she was no use to her team.

In the moments of calm, when Raven felt comfortable enough to use her powers, she took The Shepardess' advice. She felt guilty doing it, like she was violating the trust and privacy of her friends. Which, she admitted to herself, she was as she looked into the minds and read the thoughts of her friends.

The surface thoughts brought nothing unexpected, and Raven didn't feel so bad about spying on them like that. Their thoughts had all been on whatever their current tasks were. Beast Boy was trying to beat a high score, and his mind was switching between strategies at how to beat a level better than Cyborg and what he should eat when he was done. Robin had been training, and his thoughts had consisted mostly of numbers, counting his sets, deciding how many more to do, what drill to do next, if he should talk to Raven or not, if he should start working the team harder, all things she expected from him. Cyborg was totally focused on his car, only to be broken by realizing the song that was playing while he worked and he burst into song, at least until parts and oil consumed him once more. Starfire was idling, passing time on her computer where she had started up a blog recently. The alien thought it was doing rather well, and thought fondly and proudly of the blog, which had amassed quite a following of fans of both Starfire personally and the Teen Titans in general.

Aside from learning about Starfire starting a blog, there was nothing that Raven considered to be bad. The Shepardess had warned her that looking into the minds of those around her would make her realize why she needed to leave.

But the idea and suspicion had been planted, and it overcame Raven's guilt and reservations of digging through her friends' minds.

From the familiarity of her room she had extended her mind to Starfire first, being the closest in proximity. Raven had felt warmed by Starfire's mind, so positive and happy and friendly. Starfire's thoughts about Raven were that of a close friend, and Raven felt a pang of guilt when she realized just how much Starfire wanted to be best friend with Raven, but she always felt rejected by Raven's walls and resistance.

But underneath the friendship, wrapped and buried in the longing to be closer, Raven discovered a seed of suspicion and jealousy. It shocked Raven, she didn't understand why Starfire would be jealous of her. If anything, Raven should be jealous of Starfire. But, curious, Raven dug, untangling the twisted knot of jealousy and rivalry until she found the source: Robin.

Starfire believed, or at least had enough of a suspicion to need to bury it, that Robin had feelings for Raven, and it hurt Starfire deeply. The idea made Raven feel sick and worried. She knew she could settle things with Starfire if she talked to her, urged Starfire to make her feelings for Robin known. Surely that would fix things… unless Robin actually did have feelings for her and not Starfire.

Desperate to know the truth, desperate to know that Robin did not have feelings for her, she slipped into his mind next. She had been here before, it was easy to move inside into his thoughts, he had let her in before and their bond had been established. But now she wasn't seeing through his eyes to see Slade haunting Robin, she wasn't trying to help him.

She was searching through his thoughts to find answers.

To her relief, and embarrassment, Robin thought of her in a very strategic manner. He seemed to think of everyone and everything in terms of strategy, assessing and categorizing a person based on usefulness and roles in a battle. Raven, though he didn't want to, she could sense his regret on the matter, had been pushed into the category of "useless" in his mind of battle strategy. It was the logical conclusion, not only was she still recovering and unable to go into battle but she was also a liability with her powers. He would revise his categorization of her when she had recovered, and he even had some half formed plans for helping her which she appreciated.

As she lingered over his desire to help her she noted the possessive and protective undertones, and followed them through his mind to their root. She expected him to be protective of her because of Slade, this wasn't the first time Slade had targeted her specifically, it was only natural that Robin would want to protect a teammate from a threat. But it wasn't just that. True, Robin was worried about Slade in regards to Raven specifically, he had a number of scenarios in the back of his mind where Raven was abducted, and Robin had already cooked up some plans in response to those hypothetical scenarios. There was also a few theories and strategies if Raven did become Slade's apprentice. But picking over the strands of his thoughts, feeling the tones of the emotions laced within, she continued down the strings and discovered Starfire was correct.

Robin had feelings for her.

His possessiveness, his protectiveness, his fear that she might leave the Teen Titans, leave him, for Slade, they all stemmed from an attraction to her. It was deep and it was coated in a web of fear and anxiety. He was so terrified of losing her, a fear that was drowning in past losses, making him anxious to be close to anyone again. But he wanted it. He wanted to be with her, to be honest and tell her that he was attracted to her. He wanted it so strongly that it seeped out of the web of fears, reaching beyond his unconscious and into his conscious.

She knew she shouldn't, she had already dug too deep, found things she shouldn't. But this wasn't a subconscious desire that Robin had, he was aware of it, he thought about it consciously, and she was fascinated and curious. He repressed it well, but as she explored she realized how much thoughts of her dominated his mind when he was not focused on a task. It may have been endearing to learn how much he thought of her, played little scenarios in his mind, thought about how her hair caught the sunlight or how she looked in a fight. But it just made her feel guilty. She had unintentionally hurt Starfire, and she knew she did not reciprocate Robin's feelings for her. And if she did leave, if she did go to Slade for training, then that would hurt Robin all the more. It would be a grave and unforgivable betrayal to him. She may not love him, but he was a close friend to her all the same.

Raven withdrew from his mind, feeling numb and cold and guilty. She wasn't sure she wanted to keep exploring and digging in the minds of her other two friends. Raven wasn't sure she'd be able to handle another mind and revelation like that.

After several minutes of silently wrestling with her thoughts she decided she would finish what she started. She decided Beast Boy was next and went into his mind before she could talk herself out of it.

Beast Boy was much more like Starfire's mind: friendly and warm and wanting to be closer to Raven. Did she really put up so many barriers that even her closest friends felt distant? What Raven did not expect was a snare of thoughts connected to Terra among Beast Boy's thoughts of Raven.

Terra. A net of love and betrayal and yearning that Beast Boy tried to bury and avoid thinking about. But now, with Raven being targeted by Slade, with Cyborg's admission that Slade wanted to take Raven on as an apprentice, Beast Boy felt like it was happening all over again. He was angry at himself for thinking Raven might do that, he was bitter and unhappy that the thoughts had crossed his mind. But with each admonishment on himself he also countered with the fear and suspicion that he didn't think Terra would do such a thing either. Robin and Terra had both gone to Slade and betrayed them, and he feared Raven would be next.

Raven returned to herself and groaned, her face in her hands. Now she was even more guilty, because she wasn't just considering going to Slade for training, she had openly discussed it with him and had decided to do it. The betrayal had already been made, even if she changed her mind and took it back she had decided to betray them, and nothing was ever going to make that right.

She prayed Cyborg would not be suspicious of her, she begged for one friend that wouldn't make her feel like she had betrayed them.

Her prayers went unanswered.

Cyborg wanted nothing more than for Raven to stay with them, but they had been betrayed before, and raven had kept secrets. He wanted to trust her, he wanted to trust his garage mate and friend and little sister. He tried to bury the fears and worries and suspicions but it was there. Raven found it easily, and she found herself rushing back to her own mind as she fought back tears for guilt.

What had she done?

Invading her friends' minds was already a terrible crime. There was no excuse for what she had done.

But now the full weight of her decision, of her weird secret talks with Slade, came crashing down. She had tried to reason that it was for the best, that it was somehow okay. But it wasn't, it hadn't been, and it never would be.

And the thing she hated the most was that it didn't change her mind about leaving.


	19. Chapter 19

A week had passed since she looked into the minds of her closest friends, since she had betrayed and violated their trust. Each passing day brought more clarity to her eyes and more guilt and turmoil to her heart and mind.

Robin had cleared her for battles again, but there had been no crime to fight. Raven could only assume that Rave was hard at work, but that thought also brought more guilt and confusion. Slade and The Shepardess had managed to visit her, but Rave had stayed away. He of all people were welcome to visit the Teen Titans and check on her. It hurt more than she expected.

The only relief she had was that she was not wrestling with her powers, constantly fighting for control. If anything, her powers seemed to be gone after she had explored her friends' minds. It felt like there was a hole inside of her, a deep cavern that she didn't know how to fill or how to function with. But at night terrors came pouring out, wrenching her from her sleep as she struggled to keep from destroying her room. Her powers weren't gone, she just couldn't access them from that deep pit inside of her, but they could get out and be just as destructive.

She came to spend her days in her room, locked away in semi darkness away from everyone. She wanted to make things right with her friends, but she couldn't bear to face them and admit that she had been snooping around their minds, and she certainly couldn't admit that she had not only been talking to Slade but was going to train with him. It seemed like there was no going back from that decision. And the only person she could bear to face had vanished from her life and her dreams. The Shepardess being gone was an ache that Raven did not expect either, but she felt it even more strongly than Rave being gone.

Cyborg was the one who managed to draw Raven out, going to her room and telling her they were getting pizza and she needed some sun on her grey skin. He didn't mention how pale she had gotten, or the circles under her eyes, or the slight shaking in her hands, and she was grateful that aside from a glance he gave no indication that he had noticed it at all.

It was strange, like being in a dream she had had before, as she sat with her friends at their favorite pizza place. It was familiar, and relaxing, and terribly precious to her as she realized this was one of the last times she'd be with her friends like this. And the fact that they had no idea made it all the worse.

She managed to choke down a slice of pizza, feigning normalcy, but found herself not paying attention to her friends as she looked down from the open balcony seating to the city streets below. Raven wasn't even surprised when she spotted a blonde girl looking up at her intently. Of course The Shepardess would be there. The Shepardess always knew where to be.

"Guys," Raven said before she had fully thought out her sentence, but her sudden speaking made the others stop in their conversation.

"There's something- I," she took a deep breath and thought the words first before speaking, "I can't control my powers. I need someone to help me, someone to train me, and I… I can't do that here. With you." There was stunned silence for a moment as the others processed what she was telling them.

Then came the clamor of protests and questions.

"I already know who can train me, I just need to go to them. They're waiting for me. I have to do this, I'm not help to the team as I am now. I'm spending more time controlling my powers to keep from killing everyone around me than I am helping, I can't help in a battle, and I've spent the last several nights fighting myself to keep from destroying the tower while you guys sleep." Raven tried explaining, tried to answer their questions and shock as they kept talking, but they managed to hear and process what she was saying as she spoke over them.

"Okay."

Everyone stopped and looked at Robin in shock.

"When are you leaving?" Robin continued in the stunned silence. Raven swallowed and looked down sheepishly.

"Now. I don't need to take anything." Robin nodded and stood, nodding toward the door to go down to the street.

"I'll walk you down then."

Raven blinked but stood and followed, glancing back at the other three confused and protesting friends as she followed Robin down the stairs and outside to the ground level.

"Are you sure about this?" Robin asked them in the privacy of the empty stairwell.

"Yes. You've had to leave to train, guess it's my turn now." Raven reassured him and he nodded.

"Are you going to Slade." She stared at him, surprised that he had asked her so directly. But she could answer honestly.

"No. This isn't about Slade, and don't worry I'm not being blackmailed. Besides, even if I was being forced to join Slade I could just lose control of my powers and destroy his base. It'd make it a lot easier for you to find me." She was glad her attempt at a joke made Robin smile.

"Promise to take care of yourself, okay? And don't be gone for too long."

"I promise. And try to keep Beast Boy out of my room." The request was serious but she tried to say it in a playful tone, and it worked by bringing another smile to Robin's face.

"I'll do my best!" He promised before looking at her for a moment, caught in his indecision.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Raven promised him, hugging Robin. She didn't need to be attracted to him to know he wanted a moment of closeness, a reassurance, and he reciprocated. She squeezed him tight, knowing once she let go she may never return to her former life and the friends she considered her family. Now that the moment was here she was terrified of losing it.

Robin was the one who pulled away, nodding and opening the door to the street. Raven gave him one last look, offered him one last smile, before she walked out the door and onto the sidewalk.

The blonde was walking past as part of the crowd, and Raven followed The Shepardess away from the life she knew.


End file.
